Destined to be

FOURTEEN - DIARY

I was happy that I was allowed to take the train to Hogwarts on the way back. That meant that no one was watching me anymore and I could read the diary. I said goodbye to Leala by wearing the mittens she gave me. Hopefully she understood that I care about her. I couldn't say anything. We weren't alone and I didn't know if I could trust the other servant.

"Save journey, Miss Carrow," she smiled at me sadly. I wasn't glad that I had to leave her behind again but there was no other way, at least for now.

"Thank you," I nodded politely and boarded the train.

I picked a seat in the empty coupe, staring from the window until we left the city. Only after we were miles away did I dare to pull out those duplicates from my bag. At first I opened the envelope. It was some kind of contract my father signed with Mr. Gaunt. They agreed that his only daughter would take as her husband one of his sons when both of them would reach the appropriate age. From the date that was scribbled in the corner I found out that my future was decided the day I was borne and I had no idea until this Christmas.

I crumpled the contract angrily and let it levitate in the air, casting quick Incendio on it and watched it burn to the ashes. With a heavy sight I take the letters.

All of them were from Ominis's father. The messages were brief and short. At the start he wanted to cancel the contract. He said that his family did not wish to be associated with such a shameful one and that I am not good enough for any of his sons. But in the end he changed his opinion. He said that Headmaster Black assured him that I am actually a really powerful witch and that I could bring strong magical genes to the Gaunt bloodline.

I couldn't help but think about what he meant by strong magical genes. I was quite sure that Black doesn't know about my Ancient magic powers. I hoped that the only information he gave them was that I am excelling in a lot of classes even if I started only last year. If the Gaunts found out about my powers it would be bad...like really bad. I burned the letters the same way as the contract.

Finally I picked up the diary. It had an engraved initial on it - 'A.B.' When I opened it I saw a signature full of curls saying Apollonia Black. I run my fingers over the black ink, copying the soft curls, holding back the tears. Apparently she started writing on the day she found out about her own engagement.

December 26th

The Winter Ball was dreadful. I felt like a complete stranger between all of the pure-blood maniacs. But it went even worse when my father announced my engagement with Eustace Carrow. He is a good looking man but that is the only good thing about him. He has the personality of a troll. But there is nothing I could do about it. Our families signed a magical contract which can't be broken. It was almost like an unbreakable vow but in written form. No one would necessarily die in this case. But this dark magic will simply make sure that the contract will be fulfilled. I don't understand how it works and I don't want to. Nothing good ever came from the Dark Arts.

- -

I skipped through some pages I wasn't comfortable reading in detail. My mother described the marriage and it wasn't a pleasant one. My father was indeed a horrible person and I was glad I never met him.

September 2nd

Today I found out I am bearing a child. It must still be pretty early. I really wish it was a boy. Everything would be much easier. I could teach him to be good, to be nice...to be nothing like his father. But I can't save my daughter from the same destiny. But every cell in my body is telling me that I am expecting a girl. Sweet innocent girl with her fate already written in the stars.

- -

December 15th

The baby started kicking today. I am happy of course that the baby is healthy. But I am still worried. I am more and more sure that it is a girl. I have this weird feeling she already communicates with me. She is reacting when I speak to her. She would kick my hand if I rubbed my belly. I could feel her energy and I can see a weird blue hue around my body when I am extremely emotional. I just know it is because of her. But I can't tell anyone about it. She would be in even more danger than she is now. I put a spell on this diary so no one without my permission can read it. I know that writing this is stupid and dangerous but I have to ventilate it out somehow...otherwise I would go insane.

- -

I was more and more confused reading it. A weird blue hue...did I wield the Ancient magic already? How is it possible then that I entered Hogwarts so late? And why was I able to read the diary? Did she give me the permission or did the spell vanish when she died. I turned to the next page.

May 1st

She is finally here and she is perfect. So tiny and so beautiful. It feels almost impossible that a horrible man like Eustace was able to create something so pure. All I want is to protect her from all the bad in this world but I am afraid I won't be able to. Eustace already signed the harrowing contract. The same contract that sentenced me to life in prison without possibility of freedom. The thought that she will be facing the same fate is slowly killing me. My sweet, sweet angel...I am sorry Lynette. But I promise you that I will try my best.

- -

April 28th

Eustace is dead. He was killed by some drunk wizard by accident during some nonsensical argument. But even though he is not here anymore I can't be free. His family doesn't let me go. But maybe I finally found the way out of this. For me and for my daughter. I will have to give up my entire life but I am willing to do it for her. She is the most precious thing I have.

- -

November 30th

I had to suppress Lynette's abilities. It was the only way. I'm planning to run away from this house, from this life...and this whole world. I met a lovely man and he will take care of both of us. But he is a muggle and Lynette's powers are so strong already. She is extraordinary but she is just a baby and she can't control it. So I have to take it away. It is the only way so they can't find us.

- -

I started to cry long ago. My mother did this for me. But it was for nothing in the end. They found me and the magic contract will be fulfilled. She said it was like an unbreakable vow and couldn't be broken. Was it possible she died because of it? That the dark magic surrounding it killed her somehow so the protecting spells she put on me would break? No one was able to explain what happened to her. But I remember the day they told me she was gone. I felt so much power running through my veins that it was almost painful. It was also the day professor Fig found me because of the amount of magic emitting from me.

I closed the diary and pressed it to my heart. I cried the rest of the way to Hogwarts. I was feeling grateful but heartbroken...helpless.