"I've always loved you.. even if you didn't see it... even when you did. But none of that love was wasted on you."
Sometimes emotions are complex. Sometimes they're too tough for people to handle on their own. So you find your person... find that pe...
It had been two days since we got home and Johnny and I had fallen back into our weekly schedules.
I had a class at least once a day, but Johnny had three days a week where he attended two each day. Our majors had a few common classes, but we only attended two lectures together.
Johnny was a finance major and me, law. Organizational and management classes crossed over in our majors, and unfortunately, they were some of the most mundane classes at SM University.
Luckily we had each other to get through our classes.
We sat in lecture with Professor Kim Min-seok bored out of our minds as he explained the in and outs of Excel programs...fairly straightforward shit.
We sat in the top corner of the classroom, Min-seok could rarely see us messing around, sleeping, and chatting.
"Hey." Johnny leaned over. Today Johnny had pulled up his longer black locks into a half updo. His side bangs lay slightly past his eyes. He was dressed in a comfortable outfit: grey hoodie, baggy jeans, and his white converse. I loved seeing Johnny like this, it was his favorite dress wear but, he simply acted more comfortable and looked so good.
"You wanna get food after class." He smiled.
I leaned back in my seat and began hitting my Apple pen against my IPad. My chest began to rise as I dreaded declining his offer. "I can't." I sharply drew.
Johnny leaned forward, rasing a brow, "Why?"
I flickered my eyes quickly to him and lowered my voice more. "I had to reschedule my appointment to see my therapist today, she's going on vacation for weeks and she wants to check on me and my meds." I hated talking about my mental issues even if it was with Johnny, even if he had been there for almost every episode I've ever had, and even though I had almost nothing to hide from him.
He reacted how he always did, like my protector as soon as this conversation came up. His body grew stiff and his face fell. I hated seeing him react like that. Despite his healthy concern it made me feel guilty for bringing it on him again.
I never meant to make Johnny my crutch, but he always has been. Even when we were in middle school. He had been my light and my support when I couldn't stand, and because of him I am stronger now and can hold my own.
But my heart still breaks to see him react to my pain the way he does.
"Are you okay, you haven't been in months and I know this probably routine but did anything happen." I saw that glimmer of fear flash across his eyes.
I reached out to grab his hand. His large, rough hands began to quiver under my touch and were met with rapid movement from my own. He felt me shaking and grasped my hands tighter. "Johnny," I stammered. His gaze deepened on mine and soon he was latched onto me. Tears formed in the corners of my eyes, and I did all I could to keep them from rolling down my cheeks.
"I am okay, I have been having some more issues lately but it's nothing I can't handle."
Johnny sighed and leaned closer to me, "Elliot. Don't do this shit, you know without a doubt that regardless of what you think you can handle alone, you're not going to. You're one of the strongest people I know but that doesn't change the fact that I'm always here for you in everything." I couldn't look him in the eyes, he would see me break and I couldn't let that happen here, in front of everyone.
"I know." All I could manage to reply with, but it was the truth. Even if I tried to fight alone, I knew Johnny would never let me. That's why he was so beautiful to me. Whatever reason the women of this campus had to be infatuated with him, paled in comparison to the love I had for him even as my friend. His beauty felt like something so complex, but it was simple to me. Johnny was just someone who knew what everyone around him needed. He knew how to make someone feel like they were number one, like they were valued, and it made him truly unique.
Silence lingered between us for a few moments and Johnny held the tight grasp of his hands on mine still.
He broke the silence, "How about I drive you to your appointment. I won't pry I promise, whatever you have on your mind you don't have to tell me though I am here. I'll drive you, I'll wait in the office, and I'll take us home."
I nodded reluctantly in response and squeezed his hands before releasing. Even as his touch no longer met mine, and I felt him linger the rest of lecture.
~~~
"Hey." Johnny greeted me from the lobby of my therapist's office. He quickly rose from his chair and over to me. My therapist stood beside me. She was a petite, fair skinned woman, and exuded a feeling of comfort, it made talking to her easy.
"Hello, Johnny I presume?" She outstretched her hand to him. He shook at the mention of his name from her mouth, he seemed shocked she knew he was.
"Hello Ms. Yu." He bowed after the handshake. "Thank you for taking care of my Elliot." He smiled and looked to me. His warmth pulled over me and pulled at the corners of my mouth.
"Of course. Thank you for taking care of her too." She smiled gently. "I'll leave you to it. I'll see you soon dear."
The door shut and Johnny motioned me out of the lobby. The office was in a hospital which left us traveling a good distance to get back to Johnny's car.
"So how'd it go?" Johnny broke the silence.
"It went really well, I feel better for now." I smiled shyly. He then snaked his arm around my shoulder and pulled me to him.
"I'm here for whatever you need, El. You know that." I nodded and smiled as we walked through the hospital.
As we exited the building Johnny felt a vibration in his pocket and moved his arm away. I rubbed my neck after feeling the loss of his touch.
"Hello?" Johnny answered the phone, exchanging words with the speaker for about a minute. "Yeah we'll be there." He ended the call.
"Where are we going?" I immediately questioned.
"NCT Frat House tonight. Party. Yuta invited us but there will be a bunch of people there. Taeyong, Hyuk, Mark and a bunch of other people. I think it'll be good for us to go. It's been a while since the notorious party has graced NCT's premises. " He jabbed my arm with a bellow.
I stepped back from him with my arms crossed. It had been a minute since we'd gone out and honestly, a night out being dumb and stupid sounded amazing.
I ran my hand over my face and sighed, "Sounds great Johnny."
He gave me a side hug and led me to the car.
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Word Count - 1226 Words Date Published- 07-08-23
Author's Note: Slow chapter ik.. but it's a bit to develop their relationship, Elliot as a character, and set up for the next chapter. It's going to be fun :)
