Drawing Blood

Chapter Three

I was always going to be afraid of dying.

I knew I was different from everybody, ever since Dan had scared me down from that tree. However, death wasn't something I liked to dwell upon. And even when Angela died shortly after being diagnosed with cancer, I had tried not to think about my own mortality. To me, death was a thought that popped into your head, all of a sudden. It was like remembering you needed to get tuna from the supermarket, or that you needed to pick up your suit from the dry cleaners. It was a passing thought rather than a lingering one. It was preparation for the inevitable, a gentle reminder that we were all hurtling towards the same destiny. It was a thought that, up until now, I didn't really want to pursue.

I found it hard to relax the night of Annie's departure. Even though I had agreed to wear her silver necklace, I couldn't help wondering how it was going to make any difference to my circumstances. I left Will watching the telly and retired to bed early, his lack of concern as I closed the living room door behind me telling me I hadn't been much company anyway. It did not bother me. Those days when I stayed during the summer, it was something I often did. I went through the usual motions. I climbed the stairs, and went straight into my bedroom. I didn't really feel like taking a shower, nor did I feel like brushing my teeth. What I really wanted was to be left alone with my thoughts. I was muggy with exhaustion, my limbs demanding I fall straight into bed.

I didn't bother changing out of my clothes. Instead, I pulled the duvet firmly over me, and kept my eyes glued on the window, resisting the temptation to check my phone. If Adam was going to message, then it would have to be on my terms. The curtains were still open, and I could see the outside from where I lay. The tips of the trees pierced the purple skyline, the near-full moon throwing a band of light across my bedroom floor. It was beautiful, and I gazed at it for a long time, mesmerised by its ghostly appearance before sleep finally dragged me under, my mind caving in to the inevitable.

To my dismay, my peace didn't last, and I soon found myself awake again, having been spat back out from another nightmare. This time, I did check my phone. Nothing. A knot formed in my chest. If Adam was waiting for his moment, he could have it. It had occurred to me that he might use this opportunity to kill me for his own selfish purposes. After considerable thought it seemed highly unlikely. If he had intended to kill me, he would have done so by now. As a werewolf, he could change whenever it suited him. It was a myth that he needed to wait for the full moon. In order for a werewolf to change, all they needed to do was focus on an emotion.

Dan's had been anger.

When dawn eventually arrived, it dragged. I saw no point in lingering amongst the tangled sheets, so I got up and went downstairs in search of a drink, my feet silent upon the carpeted floor. It was early, and I had been desperate to sip some water ever since hearing Will go up to bed. But I had been too scared to move, until now. As a result, my throat was dry, my tongue thick and unpleasant in my mouth.

I was unable to bring myself to look at Will when he finally entered the kitchen himself, some thirty minutes later. Grabbing my coffee, I mumbled a quick hello, before leaving him to eat his toast alone; going back upstairs to have a wash and change my clothes. I didn't fancy having my breakfast in front of him, because it meant I'd have to stay in the room with him. And if I stayed in the room with him, I knew I would end up spilling the beans about what was happening. My lack of companionship must have annoyed him because he didn't even bother to shout up the stairs to announce he was going out, shortly after. I was finishing getting dressed when I heard the front door close with a bang. Going over to the window, I saw him, huddled looking and crossing the grounds to get to his truck, his frame battling against the heavy winds. I felt guilty seeing him like that, but it didn't last. I reasoned what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him.