My Azaleas Their Azalea (Bts HybrisX Human Female Reader)

Chapter 4

Tuesday

Jin POV

One moment I was going to say goodbye to her and go on my way, the next I was scenting her, stroking my cheek on her hand.

It's been so long since the last time, it was during our last hug...

Scenting someone is something so simple, but so important. It makes you feel safe, happy, protected. While scenting you make feel safe, happy and protected the people you are bound to, too. Scenting is a means to say the world that you and those people belong to each other.

Feeling a gentle caress after years, it was as if a sweet flame was warming my heart, bringing it to beat again.

I didn't even realize when I simply let my animal counterpart took over.

Smelling my scent on her, made me feel such satisfaction, that I had never felt before. The satisfaction of belonging to someone. It was a different feeling from what I was used to experience with them.

Then came the fear of the truth.

The realization that I can't never be enough, that I can't be the one.

The realization that I will never be human.

The realization that I will always be a possession.

The knowledge that, like dozens and dozens of times before, I'll be discarded as soon as there is an opportunity.

The knowledge that I'll never be her.

I don't want more pain; I don't want another rejection. Especially if she will be the one to do it.

But my heart, just as it is too weak to be broken again, is weak for her and her sweet caresses.

And that is why I gave permission to the masochistic side of me, to keep hurting me. To keep seeking those precious attentions of hers. At least while they last.

But there is someone who is eager for her. The same person who gave me these cuts on my face.

The same someone who bruised away my only chance to feel that little flame that only she knows how to light.

🌺🌺🌺

Wednesday

This woman continues to amaze me.

I continue to scale back my expectations of her.

More and more the desire to be close to her grows.

More and more the desire to belong to her grows.

I also grow to be more and more afraid.

She seems too perfect to be real. Too sweet, too beautiful, too attentive, too kind, too respectful to hybrids.

What if it is a mask?

What if the tears she shed for are a mask?

Or worse. What if she is really that perfect? What would happen once she realizes that I'm just a burden? That I am not worth her time, money and energy?

How can this sweet, beautiful, amazing cook give attention to me?

I've been brought back here too many times; I know how things go. First they are all happy and excited to adopt me.