BEFORE

Chapter 13

JESS

When would I learn?

Daring Jack to let me ride pillion had been a deliberate ploy to rattle him at the time. But now? With my arms wrapped around him, my body on fire from our proximity and the pure male scent of him filling my senses? I was the one seriously rattled.

Not that the last ten minutes hadn't been exhilarating, galloping through the station's grounds and beyond, mile after mile of arid beauty. I didn't know where to look first so kept my cheek firmly pressed against Jack's back.

Now that we'd slowed to a trot, I could hear my thoughts again above Dundee's pounding hooves. And they weren't pretty.

Why did I blab all that stuff about Dave? I barely knew Jack and all we did was try to score points off each other. Yet when he'd said we were friends? I could've hugged him. Having him share some of his past with me had precipitated my verbal diarrhea, I knew that, but how did it happen that I felt closer to Jack than I did with any of my college friends?

Two semesters at UNLV and I still couldn't name one person I would've told about Dave...bar Dave. And that's what irked the most, that the one guy I'd chosen to trust as a friend in my freshman college year had turned out to be anything but.

"We'll stop here and eat." Jack reined in Dundee near the bottom of a small valley and I let the peacefulness wash over me.

It was like Jack and I were the only two people in the world.

"You can let go of me now," he said, clearing his throat.

"And spoil my fun?" I gave him a tight squeeze, akin to a Heimlich maneuver, and chuckled when I heard his ooph.

I swung my leg over Dundee's rump and slid to the ground. My butt ached, my back twinged and my legs wobbled, but as I watched Jack's mighty fine ass as he dismounted, it was so worth it.

He turned and caught me staring, a slow grin spreading across his face. "What is it with you and my nether regions?"

Damn, I was busted. "Maybe they're so impressive I can't help but stare?"

"I'm flattered, but don't waste your time." He busied himself making Dundee comfortable, leaving me to ponder what he meant.

"A girl can't look?"

"Looking is fine. Touching isn't," he muttered, sounding increasingly grouchy as he gave Dundee a final pat and started setting out the picnic he'd packed.

"Why's that?"

He glanced up from the blanket he'd spread on the ground. "Because I won't be your holiday fling."

Guess that meant I couldn't tell him he'd be my first, too.

"Surprising."

His eyes narrowed. "Why? Because you think a bum like me would have sex with any woman who crossed my path?"

Wow, there was way more going on here than me making a flippant remark and him taking it out of context.

I held up my hands. "Whoa. PMS, much?"

Some of his tension eased as I glimpsed a flicker of a smile. "Sorry, you hit a nerve."

I wanted to know more, despite doubting the wisdom of prodding him when he was in a mood. "Because you've been sleeping your way across the east coast of Australia?"

"Something like that," he said, through gritted teeth, as he resumed laying the picnic out.

If I'd been curious before, I was positively intrigued now. Considering the Chris Hemsworth thing he had going on, I wasn't surprised he'd never lack for willing partners in bed. Jack was seriously gorgeous. But rather than being proud of the fact like most egotistical guys would be, he sounded...disgusted.

"And this is a problem because?"

"Drop it," he said, sitting on the edge of the rug and hugging his knees to his chest. "You don't see me asking you the number of guys you've been with."

"That's because there've been none," I muttered, stomping toward the rug and hating that I was insanely jealous of the number of faceless women he'd probably had amazing, rampant, climb-the-walls sex with.

He sat bolt upright, like the Eastern brown snakes I feared, courtesy of Bluey's descriptive lectures on our arrival, had bitten his ass. "What did you just say?"

"Nothing." Me and my big mouth. As if an experienced guy like him would ever come near me now.

"You're a virgin?" He made it sound like I was an alien.

"So what?" I thrust my chin up, trying to stare him down. "Not everyone can be a man whore like you."

He winced and I was instantly contrite. "Sorry, that was out of line."

"The truth hurts," he said, picking up a loaf of bread and ripping great chunks off with his hands. "Not that I'm quite as bad as you make me sound, but I'm done with transient flings."

"Too bad," I said, deliberately droll, trying to get the conversation onto familiar teasing territory. "Would've been great to have an experienced guy like you take care of that little virginity problem I've got."

His gaze locked on mine and I could've sworn I saw electricity arc between us.

"You're not serious?" He stared at my mouth and I swallowed against the inane urge to leap over the picnic rug and kiss him.

"Deadly."

After what seemed like an eternity but in reality couldn't have been more than a few seconds, he swiped a hand over his face. Yeah, like that would wipe away the blatant yearning I'd just glimpsed.

"I'm not the guy for you, Jess," he said, holding his palms out to me like he had nothing to hide. "I'm not worth it."

"Do you actually believe that bullshit you're spouting or is it just an excuse because you're not really attracted to me?"

There, I'd voiced my number one insecurity when it came to guys, particularly this one. Was I attractive? I didn't have big boobs or long legs or hourglass curves. I had brown hair, brown eyes and was average height. When I looked in the mirror, I thought I looked okay. Nice. Which was about as bland as anyone could get.

"You're frigging nuts." He leaped to his feet and started pacing, scuffing at eucalypt bark with his worn boots. "What you saw after I showered? A damn good indication how attractive I find you."

Secretly thrilled, I shrugged. "Could've just been a physiological reaction. Don't you wake up with it like that?"

He muttered, "fuck," and continued pacing. "For someone who hasn't been with a guy, you sure know a lot about our working parts."

It was my turn to smile. Did he think I was that innocent he couldn't call a cock a cock?

"So you do think I'm attractive?"

In response he stopped a good eight feet away, as if scared I'd suddenly launch myself at him. "I'm not discussing this with you."

"Why?"

He pointed down below. "Because if we don't stop talking about it, I won't be able to get back on Dundee to make the return trip."

I stared at the obvious bulge in his jeans. "Oh."

"And in case you were wondering? I think that more than answers your question," he said, sitting on the rug as far from me as he could. "I can't even talk about being attracted to you without getting a hard-on."

"Considering you won't let me do anything about it, I guess we shouldn't talk about it then." I clasped my hands in my lap, the epitome of prim, when inside I was doing a happy dance.

A sexy, worldly guy like Jack was attracted to me.

Now I had to figure out how to change his mind about not coming near me.