BEFORE

Chapter 17

JESS

"I hear congratulations are in order." I propped on the top rail of the fence, deliberately letting my skirt ride up. Let the moron see what he was missing out on.

Jack barely glanced up from weeding the vegetable garden. "Yeah, your brother is one helluva guy."

"I guess." When the uncomfortable silence grew—not surprising, considering last time I'd seen him I'd called him an asshole—I tried to make small talk. "Looking forward to living in Sydney?"

"Yeah."

Great. Monosyllabic answers and he wasn't looking at me. I didn't want to apologize because I'd meant every word I'd said at his place the other night, but I missed his teasing, missed us. Even if technically there wasn't an 'us'.

No matter what he said, we'd developed a bond. A friendship. A connection. That he'd cheapened by implying I was just out for a holiday fling.

"I'm sorry about the other night," I blurted, sliding off the fence to land on my feet. "You're not an asshole."

"Yeah, I am, and you don't need to apologize." He finally glanced up, his expression wary. "I like you, Jess. I've never had a girl-friend before and it's been fun hanging out with you. But that's as far as it goes."

I didn't want to argue with him but I could feel my anger rising at his holier-than-thou speech. "Why do you get to make all the decisions in our relationship?"

"Relationship? Seriously?" He stood and swiped his grimy hands down the side of his jeans. "How did we go from friends to a relationship?"

"A friendship is a relationship, dumbass," I muttered, glaring at him, which is why I saw the exact moment is mouth switched from rebellious to amusement.

"Do you call all your friends names or is it just me?"

"It's you, Cookie." I deliberately used his nickname, knowing he liked it. "In case you were in any doubt, you're also a pain in the ass."

"Nice," he said, his wry grin making my heart do that weird flip flop thing it always did when he smiled. "Guess I won't tell you about the surprise I've organized then."

"Surprise?"

I immediately envisaged the two of us strolling off into an outback sunset, before REALITY CHECK flashed across my mind.

"Actually, I can't take all the credit. Mrs. Gee and Doreen suggested it."

Yep, there went my little fantasy of Jack and I alone together.

I studied my nails, feigning disinterest. "So, are you going to tell me some time this century?"

He laughed, a low, sexy sound that rippled over me and made my stomach free fall. "Fancy outback camping for a night?" He gestured at the sky. "Nothing like the sunrises in this part of the world."

Sunrises, right. Because all I could think about was the two of us sleeping side by side in a tent in the outback. Alone.

Did the guy want to torture me to death?

"So what do you say?" He winked. "Fancy spending your last night in OZ under the stars?"

"Uh, yeah, sounds good," I said, needing clarification. "So it'd be you and me?"

"And Reid." He made it sound so logical, that I shouldn't for one moment have jumped to the wrong conclusion that this would be a special trip for two. "It'll be great for you guys to have a real outback experience before you head home."

As opposed to the fake outback experience I was living, where a hot guy I really liked—and who liked me back—pretended that we were nothing more than friends.

"Thanks, sounds great." I tried to inject enthusiasm into my voice but he must've picked up on something, because he frowned.

"You don't like camping?"

"It's not that," I said, knowing I could never explain the reason behind my disappointment.

"Then what is it?"

I looked into his eyes, their striking green-blue highlighted by his tan, and wished with all my heart things could be different.

I'd been an idiot. I'd spent the last six days sulking after storming out of his shack, a small part of me hoping my absence would make his heart grow fonder.

So I'd wasted almost a week of our time together, time I could've spent hanging out with him, having fun. Instead, I'd plotted a million different scenarios in my head, ranging from slipping into his bed naked at night to storming his dusk shower.

But who was I kidding? I'd never have the guts to do anything like that. And I'd felt like a bitch, not congratulating him the moment Reid had returned with his offer.

The fact was, I couldn't deal with all the feelings making me go a little crazy. I'd never been in love. Wouldn't have a clue what it felt like. But this constant being on edge/thinking about him/craving him thing I had going on? Could be classed as a naive, clueless moron falling in love with someone who would never return the sentiment.

"Jess, what's wrong?"

I blinked, stared him straight in the eye, and lied. "Nothing. Thanks for inviting us to go camping. Should be a blast."

I bolted for the homestead before I told him the truth.

That I was crazy about him, the kind of crazy that extended to me giving up my life in America to share his in Australia if he asked.