BEFORE

Chapter 16

JACK

I hadn't slept all night.

I'd alternated between channel surfing and listening to my iPod. But hearing my favorite songs, the ones I'd danced to with Jess, had lost their appeal.

With the music blasting through the ear pieces and my eyes closed, all I could see was Jess dancing around my room; her hips swaying, her shoulders shimmying, her face radiant. Before our slow dance where it had taken every ounce of my dwindling willpower to not kiss her senseless and run my hands all over her body.

There'd been that moment, when I could've kissed her, that would haunt me for the rest of my life as a lesson in craving something so badly I could taste it, but reining in the urge to have it.

Discounting the physical torture, I'd genuinely had a great time with Jess. And then I'd had to deliberately ruin it.

I'd known I was in trouble the moment she'd chosen Dirty Dancing for us to watch. I'd lied. I had seen it. And I knew exactly why she'd chosen it. The whole good girl/bad boy theme, where Johnny and Baby get it on and everything worked out in the end? Pie in the sky stuff and the kind of romantic guff women loved.

I'd been so good, keeping my hands off her. But then the film had ended and we'd started verbally sparring again and the next thing I knew my head had been in her lap, her fingers were in my hair and she was telling me she wanted to be bad.

I'd had no choice. I had to push her away before we were both naked in five seconds flat and rolling around on the floor.

Jess deserved more.

She deserved one thousand thread sheets and roses and champagne and candles. She didn't deserve a quick fuck in a grungy outback shack to loud rock music.

"Thought I might find you out here." Reid clapped a hand on my back and I struggled not to flinch.

I'd never liked physical contact as a kid, had avoided it at all costs. The foster system bred a healthy distrust of touch in me, because the only times my foster folks or siblings had touched me was in backhanders or fisticuffs.

"Hey, mate. How was your trip?" I dumped the strawberries I'd picked into a basket and stuck out my hand.

"Good. Business went well." Reid shook it and I admired his strong handshake, despite his namby-pamby profession. "And I managed to see that restaurateur and chef I mentioned."

"Right," I muttered, trying not to sound too eager and hoping desperation didn't show on my face.

Reid laughed. "Don't go overboard with your enthusiasm."

I managed a wry grin. "So what did he say?"

"He said if the food you cook half lives up to my glowing recommendations, then he'd be lucky to have you." Reid slapped me on the back again. "So what do you say? Ready to move to Sydney and be apprenticed to a renowned chef?"

I couldn't speak. I wanted to but the words got stuck in my throat.

No one had ever done anything like this for me before and I had no idea how to begin to express my gratitude.

"Mate, I don't know what to say..." I cleared my throat and tried again. "Screw that. I do know what to say and it's a hell yeah."

"Great. Is a month long enough to give notice here and move down to Sydney?"

Completely overwhelmed by Reid's generosity, I shook my head. "Shouldn't be a problem."

In the past, I'd give the station owners a week's notice if that, moving on when the whim took me. But Doreen and Mrs. Gee had been good to me and I didn't want to leave them in the lurch. A month would be plenty. And would see out Jess's holiday here. Not that I should be registering a fact like that. Especially not now.

Because if I'd been determined to keep my hands off her before, my incentive had just doubled.

Reid Harper was a stand-up guy who'd just done me a massive favor. No way could I repay him by fucking his sister.

"Thanks again, mate." I pumped Reid's hand until mine almost fell off.

"As you Aussies say, no worries." Reid glanced at his watch. "I've got a conference call happening in five minutes, so I'll give you all the details later."

"Sure, thanks."

I managed to wait until Reid rounded the front verandah and I heard the slam of the front door before letting out a resounding yell that would've startled the cattle all the way in the top paddock.

I had a chance at a fresh start. A real future. Far removed from my current drifter lifestyle that was growing old fast.

It was just the change I'd been looking for.

And the damndest thing, Jess was the first person I wanted to share the good news with.