Until Death

12.

Sharon released a long sigh of relief as fear escaped her being with the close of a door. She sat up from her laying position and slid her green high socks before moving her legs to the warm floor to wear her new white and black converse her father had purchased for her from one of his many trips, travelling dauntlessly around the globe.

Once her laces were secured, she got to her feet and tie-toed her way to her bedroom door with her heel landing on the floor before her toes, creating less noise as she had envisioned. She creaked the door opening and close the door to a bed filled with a pillow shaped figure of her. Filling like those dolls or poppets from Sesame Street would but there was nothing a big, comfy blanket couldn't fix.

She placed her hand over her pounding heart as the door behind her, had clicked in place. Then she made her way to the living room, where her eyes clouded with concern as she saw her mother asleep on the red long couch, surrounded by bottles of wine. She bit her lips as she wished her parents were so dependant on the red liquid that poisoned their mind.

But it was while her mother had been sleeping in the morning, she had found out on the telly that her sister had been convicted of first degree murder. She had used her phone to find out more and it was disturbing to know they would direct the blame on her sister.

Sharon was no fool, she knew she had never met her sister before and knew about the rift between Jacklyn and their family but she was still family. Before, she thought if she got a chance to meet her, she would turn her mind around but being in police custody was no way to start. Who in their right mind would let a twelve years old girl to meet and greet a murderer? What would she say? Girl scouts cookies.

The joke was on her.

Her eyes spotted a grey blanket and throw pillow, and her feet moved to retrieve it. She squeezed the fabric in her hands before she walked carefully to her mother and covered her before she placed the throw pillow in her hands as she liked to cuddle things.

Resisting the temptation to place a chaste kiss on her mother's lips, she moved away and made her way for the door that would lead her out. She took a deep breath of courage and opened the door, shutting herself out.

Her breath hitched as she tried to answer why she was doing this. She had never run away from home before. She really wished she knew every corner of the building from the roof to all the hidden parts but she didn't. Her leg, long and slim for her age were perfect in creeping up on people and was where she managed to hear her sister's name when Rider had been rushing for an early morning.

For her age, she tried to be older and that helped her in not attracting to much attention as an aimless kid would. She pulled her hair into her hands before she secured it with a hairband to avoid the lengthy hair get into her eyes.

Unlike the other kids, she didn't have school. Her school was far from the city, they had come over to stay while their house was undergoing renovations and her father had gone for his business trip. Her heart heaved as they were to move to France, where she would master and perfect the language her mother had been teaching her since the age of time. But she was scared of being in a place entirely new and different without her brother.

They wouldn't be able to meet that much. He had work, she had school.

If they had to stay in L.A, she doubted she would fit with the Chinese without seeming like an alien or a halfwit.

Her mother said for a blunt genus, she thought about the dumbest most things and she would argue no questions was dumb, and here she was walking to catch a ride to a place she wasn't familiar with in a city where kid-napping was as easy as candy. And she had the whole day to break her new converse in.

It had been weeks since they came to stay in Rider's condo and months since she had imagined her sister bursting through those door to hug her tight and ask her to let them catch up on all those years of negligence. As a kid, she always found it weird and wondered why people questioned when and why people stepped back into their life. No one had enough of life to be so unforgiving and no one was worth being unforgivable.

Now, her eyes moved through Chinatown with eyes not too wide or bedazzled before someone picked her out for being new there. Her eyes moved down to her grayish white sweatshirt with a hood and her white shorts, she almost swore at herself for picking out that color in the wet season of the year. But she had a likening for it, as her mother said, no one can go wrong with two colors, white and black.

She pushed her hands further down into her pockets and curled her fingers, ready to knock down anyone who tried to make her do things she didn't want to. She was thankful the sleeves were warm enough and the hood deep enough to protect her nose from the chilling cold of the evening.

Even though she hardly admitted it, she admired her sister that she had seen from the screens of the television. She was elegant and the epitome of glamour. From a young age, she had listened to stories of her half-sister she had never met with joy. Of course, her world dawned on her that Jacklyn was different and leaned down on anything but them.

With a slight hope, she tried to act the way her big sister did and talked the way she is, as her life was lived in the silent fear of not ever being enough for her big sister and it gnawed her very soul. She might never be able to impress her sister, but she would always be able to improve herself with that effort. For now, she had to trust her heart instead of her brain.

She remained inside the hood as she tilted her head to the side to check if any stranger was following her before she straightened her back from the slight slump she had with her hands pocketed. She slowed her steps as she had quite a distance between the condo and her.

She shrugged her black backpack and allowed her eyes to follow different people in front of her, watching what they did and the expression on their face. She had an extra sense for picking out good people and the ones she had to be wary of. She wondered if she would be able to discern that her sister was a good person and not what the papers, and the rest of the media said—speculated.

Her mind shifted to Rider, when he came back with defeat, and tension in his eye. She could see the twirl of emotions and the fight for the justice leaving him despite he tried to stay strong. Regret flashed before her as his eyes met hers and she forced a smile, mirroring his and pretended everything was okay.

Her father said pretending instead of accepting the truth, was only delaying the inevitable. And she believed him.

But now, as her stomach grew hungry and her legs tired. Her eyes were filled with determination and desperation as it pictured Jacklyn on a death sentence, cutting any chance of family reconciliation. Not on her watch, would she let the past lay and sit back for the future pregnant with dread to hold. She would change it somehow, but she was only a child.

Her heart pounded and heaved at every thought that ceased her heart and mind, keeping her from moving and prevented her from going on. She was struck in the reasoning she had created. And nothing failed her more than it as she did to the very people who loved her more than life itself. For someone, who never wanted. For, to them, she was a stain that can never be erased, even in death.

She forced herself to a corner with her legs that weighed her to the ground and leaned against the wall, and squat down to catch her scarce breath. To calm her weak heart, she realized it would do her no good to shed tears no matter how much she wanted to. She had to think. She needed information as she didn't know where to start and where to go in her search for answers.

So, she took a deep breath and retraced her steps, and decided to go to the place where everything started, once she caught her breath.

But even she knew, she was still a kid and she had never been so scared of the unknown in her life.

Yet, she had to keep on going.