It's difficult to find the way everything fits into place once it's broken, even if a surgeon gives you a pretty significant first push. Alexia's recovery is progressing with hope. Her knee is responding well to rehabilitation, but she doesn't feel...
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Week 5
I took a good sip of water.
"I feel really good here, and I have a lot of support from the fans," I raised my eyebrows, waiting for her to finish the sentence without needing a push, "but I don't know if I want to continue as a fullback."
"Do you think it's going to be a permanent change? Nuria is adapting to the club, learning and getting into rhythm, for example."
The Swedish player nodded, agreeing with my words, but without thinking it was reason enough to stop worrying.
"There are many talented players up front."
"You're as good as any of them. Don't forget that," I cautioned as I made a couple of notes. "Nevertheless, I understand your concern. You have become one of the best fullbacks in the world right now. It would be difficult to do it without you there."
"It's not that I hate playing as a fullback. It's fine," she sighed. "I just miss scoring goals, making that my main objective when I step onto the field."
"I understand," I wrote down a few more things in my notebook. "Have you talked to Jonathan?" I asked.
"I wanted to hear your opinion first. So I guess I'll do it tomorrow," she smiled, and I smiled back at her. The Swedish player glanced at the clock on my desk and immediately got up. "Oops! My time is over."
Fridolina gave me a wide smile and a friendly farewell.
Perhaps, along with Ana Mari and Mapi, she was one of the most enjoyable clients in the session. I liked the days when I had sessions with them. This day was turning out to be quite good. The weather was nice, warm, sunny, and the atmosphere was relaxed... and there was only one more session left, entering through the door right now. My face darkened for a moment.
That damn blond whirlwind burst into the consultation room with her boots in hand and the gym sneakers untied. She didn't look at me. She sat down directly and crossed her arms.
We hadn't spoken since the storage room. There was no explanation or apology from her side, nor from mine, just a deafening silence that weighed on the atmosphere every time we crossed paths, and the club was surely noticing it.
"Oh, so you decided to come today."
I wasn't in the mood for nonsense. I didn't want to let her walk all over me, to treat me however she pleased without any reason or explanation. I was tired of enduring these foolishness without defending myself, but that didn't make Alexia flinch in the slightest.
"Yes, and it's not because I felt like it," she spat, crossing her arms.
"Did someone force you?" I questioned.
"Well, kind of," she replied. Then she took a breath and continued with an explanation. "Laporta and Jonathan talked to me. They said I can't handle everything on my own and that I should let you work and face my problems."
I remained silent for a few seconds.
"So, is that what they think is happening from the club's perspective?"
"Yes," she locked her eyes onto mine with annoyance. "Is that what worries you the most?"
I bit the inside of my cheek, trying to contain the anger that she could provoke in me with just her eyes.
"You know what? If being here is such a bother for you, you can start your exercise session and do sets of sit-ups and push-ups on the floor," I retorted.
Without saying anything more, Alexia spread the towel on the wooden floor, placing both arms on its sides. She gave me a fake smile and began lowering and raising her chest repeatedly, all the while I watched her in astonishment .
I remained silent, unsure of how to act, how to respond to her impertinence, to the disrespect she kept throwing at me again and again without any consideration. After several minutes, she leaned back on the towel and started doing various crunches. I sighed.
"You're acting like a child."
"Me? How ironic."
I widened my eyes. No more.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" I shouted, pounding the table with my fist. Alexia rolled her eyes. "What did you expect from this? That we'd have a few beers in my office and catch up?"
"You just don't understand, do you?" she exclaimed. "You laughed at me."
I furrowed my brow and finally stood up from the table. She did the same. I walked towards her with clenched fists and confronted her. She didn't hesitate. She stood tall and remained still.
"Now I'm laughing at you," I retorted sarcastically.
"You must be joking," she laughed without enthusiasm.
Alexia turned around and picked up her things from the floor. She hung the towel on her forearm and took her boots and water bottle with the other, not caring about leaving me speechless or turning her back on me.
"Can you explain something for once in your life instead of dropping a bomb and leaving as if it had nothing to do with you?"
The blond raised both arms in a gesture of surrender, also mocking my way of addressing her and trying to make me feel ridiculous. She was so stupid. She leaned against the door without putting any of her belongings back on the floor and crossed her arms again.
"What do you want?"
"When have I laughed at you?"
Alexia rolled her eyes. She seemed to ponder for a few seconds whether to speak again, but anger was visible in her eyes too, the desire to let chaos form, to burn bridges.
"Are you going to tell me that now you think you were working at the only bar in Barcelona?" I blinked several times, taking a step back, with a less threatening attitude. "That it's a coincidence that even though the others showed up sometimes, I was always there? That Mapi asked you if you knew me? That I ended up at your house?"
I let my arms drop to my sides, giving Alexia even more space. She was visibly affected, she seemed hurt.
Her words somehow completed a puzzle in my mind that I hadn't realized existed. Explaining all those behaviors that didn't make sense, both hers and mine.
Alexia had seen me from the moment she entered the bar. Sometimes it's easy to forget that when you look into someone's eyes, that person is also looking into yours for exactly the same amount of time.
She came to the same lost bar in Barcelona as many times as she could until she couldn't find me there and decided to come to my house. She made Mapi ask me about her at the Halloween party. She really was going to talk to me on the day of the match, but she saw Marc with me. She heard what I wanted to do with my life one random night with a few drinks, and she did everything in her power to make it happen. She stayed with me when Marc left me and she knew perfectly well that I wanted to kiss her. And yet, she didn't. She didn't because she didn't want to be that, she didn't want me to see her like that. Alexia wanted to be close to me, and given all the circumstances, there weren't many options as to why. And I wanted it too, I had also shown it.
"Aren't you going to say anything?" Alexia tightened her lips, her voice trembling. I opened my mouth, eager to say something, desperate to do it, but not a single word came out. The footballer huffed. "Clearly, I've been a fool," she said before pushing me away with one of her arms, opening the door, and leaving.
*************
It feels so weird to talk about Nuria with what happened. I really can't understand it...
