Hopeless

3| Riley

"Alright baby, have a good day okay?" I smiled at Juliet as I straightened up her cardigan that covered her little summer dress. She looked over her shoulder waving to her friends before turning back to look at me 
"I love you Mummy" She smiled throwing her arms around my neck pulling me into a tight hug making me smile that much more
"I love you too Jules" I repeated pecking her cheek before watching her run after her friends instantly being engulfed into a mixture of hugs from the little girls she's developed a group with 

One of the things I envy about my kids is the fact that they are pure social butterflies, there isn't anything socially that scares them. The only exception is when Ryder is around, Juliet will play shy in order to make her big brothers soft site come out to play

"You're Juliet's mum right?" A voice asked as soon as I stood up straight, turning back around I could see a small group of women stood just up by the gate
I won't lie, in the entire time that Ryder had been here I had avoided school Mum's but Jules is making more friends then Ryder did at the beginning so I saw this coming from a mile away
"I am" I said offering them all a smile
"She is a beautiful little girl" Another one of them said making me furrow my brows at them knowing there was probably another meaning to that

"Her hair is so dark and long, does she get that from her Dad?" A third asked, there it is
"Yes, she does" I answered honestly, whether I wanted to admit it or not Jules was the spitting image of James while Ryder takes after me in the looks department
Her hair was a very dark almost black just like James' and Pipers, she even has their little button nose that they both had growing up
Where as Ryder has the mousy brown hair that I grew up with, sometimes if he's in the sun for long period of times it goes a little blonder. He has the same little chin dimple I have
The one thing both kids share is their eyes, I would love to say they are mine seeing as James and I both have brown eyes but even I have to admit that they are James' shade to a tee 

"We never see him dropping off or collecting her" The first said making me nod
"Or Ryder for that fact. My Son is in his class" She added
"That's because their father is not apart of their lives and it'll be staying that way, so I would appreciate if you didn't mention their father around them" I said holding my head high knowing that this was my only chance to show them I'm serious 

"Do they have the same Dad?" One asked making me scoff 
"Why is that any of your business exactly?" I asked in rebuttal
"Of course not Kelly. If they were then Ryder would know about his father. There are 5 year between the kids and-" Another started
"They both have the same father but Ryder has never met his Dad. Speculate all you want but you might want to get your facts correct before sending it through the mother hotline" I said rolling my eyes before turning on my heels walking out of the carpark and straight to my car

--

I didn't have anything planned today, in fact today was the only day this week I was free. But after my first interactions with the mum's I knew I needed someone to be around before I crashed
So I took the 40 minute drive back to where everything started
"Riley" Emily smiled pulling me into a tight hug as I headed into her office. Her and Michelle took over The Next Step after I left to go to business school and from what I've heard they are doing amazing 
A-Troupe had made it all the way to Internationals again and won so they were back to square one after their break

"Hey Em" I smiled knowing that all I needed right now was this hug 
"How are you doing?" She asked hanging on to this hug for as long as I would let her
"I'm okay" I lied, it was a straight face lie but I'm pretty sure she wouldn't be able to tell since she wasn't looking at my face

"How about we go find Michelle and have a good old therapy session" Emily suggested pulling away to look at me
"Sounds good" I smiled, whenever things god bad I would come here and steal Emily and Michelle way for a little just to unpack everything. Just like they would do the same by coming over to mine if they needed it

The only time they needed it was when Hunter and Emily were messing around or when Michelle starts to want to start dating again
Just the simple things for the both of them 

"Okay guys" I heard Michelle laugh as we walked into Studio A greeted with music 

Day 7 - That was their day of coming back to The Next Step with James to try to restore him back to the old James
By now I would have been called 3 times.. Maybe, maybe I really wasn't needed anymore 

"Riley" James voice said making everyone turn to look at me finally realising I was there, it would have been smarter for Em and I to hide until they finished what they were doing but I don't know, the moment I saw them all I froze in place
"Riles, what are you doing here?" Michelle said looking a little anxious, she briefly looked over at the boys who had now stood in front of James almost like they were stopping him from coming closer 

"I was -uh - in the area I guess" I said my eyes darting between Emily and Michelle 
"We were going to get something to eat if you wanted to join us Michelle" Emily suggested but I shook my head
"I think I'm just going to head off actually Em" I mumbled 

This was a mistake, I shouldn't have come today. Sure I wasn't to know today would be day 7 but I knew he was back around. I should have put 2 and 2 together and realised it was a possibility

"Riley you don't-" Hunter started but almost as if I was saved by the bell, my phone started to vibrate. I looked down instantly frowning 

"RJ? What's wrong?" Emily asked making everyone widen their eyes, everyone but James. The only one who doesn't know who RJ is..

"I don't know" I whispered turning on my heel to answer the phone as soon as I was out of ear shot. 
I could still feel them all watching me though, I had gotten to the hall way leaning against the wall as soon as I could only to stabilise myself before hearing him finally talk

"Mum? What's going on?" I heard him ask in a panic
"RJ? you're supposed to be in school, why are you calling me. You know this phone is only for emergencies" I explained before hearing a huff
"Where are you?" He asked
"why?" I asked back just as quickly
"Something is wrong Mum, I can feel it. I thought it was Jules but she is happily in class letting someone braid her hair so that leaves you" He said making me sink against the wall leaning my head back against it 

"You went to Jules class room? Why aren't you in your own RJ?" I asked
"Stop avoiding my question Mum" He warned making me scoff
"Young man, why are you not in school" I said matching his tone before hearing a small sigh

"I needed to know you were okay" he whispered making my shoulders drop slightly
"I'm okay baby, I promise" I whispered back running my hand through my hair

"Good because I'm going to be in trouble when I get to class. I'm like an hour or so late and-" He started to ramble making it obvious what he wanted

"I'm on my way to get you RJ" I said rolling my eyes
"You're the best Mum!" He giggled making me chuckle 

I briefly looked back into Studio A to see everyone still looking at me, all of them with worried looks on their faces but some more then others. I couldn't help but look at James and see his worry also clouded with confusion
He doesn't have the right to be confused, he wouldn't be confused if he had stayed, if he had taken the time to meet his kids 

That's completely on him..