All the World (Hand in Hand Chronicles)

Chapter 16: " Seeing I must go, do not renew my sorrow"

Parliament. I go of course I do. I have seen open war. I have watched men die before my eyes. And never have I tasted poison in the air like I do in that Parliament.
Our allies are solely:
Richmond. He has little power though he'll vote in favor of what we ask. He's fond of us and wishes no harm but the others do not listen to him.
Despenser. Hugh the Elder. He's powerful, and he likes Edward well enough. But he's one man. He stands on principal for his king and little else.
Lancaster is now on our side. The tide has turned and with it Lancaster is cautiously supporting us if only for the sport of it. I don't fully trust them but damn if we're not outnumbered.
The rest? The rest of England? They want my head. Kill me. Remove me. I'm a sorcerer. I'm inept. I'm an insult to the crown.
"He does nothing! I granted him the earldom I am king he's committed no crime!" Edward cries.
They want me removed. Edward stands firm. He refuses. It's painful.
"He has abused no power," Richmond says, "I stand with the king's decision."
"He may not be proper, but he's the king's chosen companion," Despenser says, moderately, "And you know him to be a good knight."
"You want to fight? Lancaster loves a good fight. Let's play boys," Lancaster says. So again he's not even helping. He just enjoys drama.
Edward is near tears of anger. I stand there and say nothing as they threaten us.
The threat is war. It is me or the Earls go to war.
"Make your choice," Warwick spits, "Exile the Gascon boy. Or we revolt."
"You cannot threaten me. If you do you will be put into submission. What you propose is treason," Edward says.
Nothing is decided. Parliament closes. And we return to Windsor castle. I recall my family there. Edward quietly orders fortification.
"They will not take you," he kisses my cheeks.
"Of course," I say rather than 'not alive'.
My family is now hidden in Windsor, with me. Aimee is refusing to be afraid. Maggie is worried. Alice brings our infant daughter.
"I don't understand why," Maggie says.
"It's because I love Edward," I say, quietly, holding my daughter in my arms. She settles against my chest, content with the sound of my voice.
"It is," Aimee says, "The coronation—,"
"Was a mess. But that wasn't the only cause. I've not started this fight but I admit I didn't defuse it," I say, "I don't bow down to them."
"You're an Earl, you shouldn't have to," Aimee says.
"It's because they know he loves you. They can't stand it. That's how people are they're—I suppose jealous," Alice says.
"And cruel. And I'm an easy target. It's a reason to hate me, to hate Edward. Because he's not his father," I say.
"It's so strange," Maggie says, quietly, "How they'll ruin a life to amuse themselves. It's like they think you're not a person."
"I'm not. Because I love him. I'm not a person anymore. My love makes me their victim," I say, "If I went out there tomorrow and revoked my titles, my land, our marriage, they'd still hate me. They say I'm an 'undo' influence on the king."
"I realize it's stupid to ask what your plan is here," Aimee says.
"I have no power. It's all what Edward decides to do now," I say, "But practically speaking we should all go back to Gascony before summer comes. But he's not going to do that."
"Worst case, he does. Can we leave?" Alice asks, softly.
"Yeah. I have some jewels from him. Not that he wouldn't give me money but," I hold up one hand. I'm wearing two ruby rings, "If we walked out of here right now I could charter a ship to Brittany. There I can beg Richmond and his brother the Duke's mercy and we at least have somewhere to stay till I get more money or the like. I can still joust. However. Maggie. Alice. That doesn't have to include you."
"We have a daughter," Alice says, "She deserves to know her father."
"I'm staying with you. I don't want to live here if they're—treating you like that," Maggie says.
"Okay," I nod, looking down at my daughter in my arms, "I'm trying fix your world little precious."
"What's Edward said?" Aimee asks.
"Last time I talked to him, two hours ago, he was mostly in denial. I said I needed to go hug the baby between naps and left. I'll go back," I say, looking down at her. Already I can see my features in her tiny face. Same tilt to her mouth. same wide set eyes. But her mother's dimples and pretty smile.
"How is he in denial?" Maggie asks.
"Talent. Who wants the baby? It has been a while I should go back," I say.
"Here," Aimee comes and takes her, "Why does she always go right to sleep for you?"
"I'm boring," I say.
"She likes his voice, she did when I was carrying her," Alice says, fondly.
"Well, I've got one supporter. All right, do you need anything before Edward needs me for the next seventeen hours?" I ask, pleasantly.
"No," Aimee sighs.
"You don't think they'll attack do you?" Maggie asks.
"If they do we'll be ready," I say. I probably should lie to her. I don't know.
When I return to Edward, denial is still occurring. So, that's not very great.
"Come, why are you so melancholy? They cannot touch you," Edward says touching my cheeks.
"My love, they are trying," I say, gently as I can.
"They can do nothing. They cannot take you from me," he says.
"Is it not—time to consider what we shall do if they go to war?" I ask, gently, "I am not worth a war."
"Beautiful one, you are worth ten thousand wars. I would fight every one single handed for you," he says, kissing my lips.
"You forget I cannot lose you either. Is —," stubborn refusal to bend, "—this our only course of action?"
"They are wrong. We have done nothing wrong. My only crime is loving you," he says, caressing my cheek gently, "This is our world. They do not get to win. And I refuse to bend when simply wish to make cowards of us."
We are going to have to bend.
He's not wrong. He's right. We haven't actually done anything wrong. Not liking what role I played in a ceremony (Edward's decision), not liking what I wear (Edward's decision usually), not liking Edward's attachment to me (Edward's decision), not liking how much Edward talks to me (Edward's decision), and not liking my personality (all right that's fair), are not reasons to start a civil war. 
I, however, have too much of the solider in me to want to call the bluff. I'm not the smartest man in the world or frankly I would not be in this situation. However, I do have some basic self preservation skills if only founded in my responsibility to what I'm just going to collectively refer to as 'my girls'. My girls, as in my thirteen year old wife, my four month old daughter, the mother of my daughter who has nowhere else to go, and my sister whose name is irreparably tied to mine and has nowhere else to go. Them. To top it all off, I now have servants who rely on me and having worked for me is hardly a glowing reputation.
Edward is not about to discuss any sort of parlay. I'm nearly ready to agree with the controversial word that floats around england. Obsession. I blame his father separating us before that's caused it. Whatever the violence of the scene that left him with those terrible scars, left him with deeper emotional ones. Whatever the force of his father's words, they've stayed with him to this day. And he will not yield. Not when I am the thing he wants and the world seeks to take me from him.
Before the May Parliament I breach the subject of reason.
"What are our worst case scenarios and plans for those? They threaten war, let's have somewhere for me to flee to?" I suggest.
"We do not flee," Edward snarls.
So that goes well.
Parliament reopens in May. I go with Edward. Of course I do. And I stare at them all with malice, saying nothing. At this point their vitriolic hate of me has become nothing but malignant in my own soul.
As before, our only allies are Richmond, who while he'll be the voice of reason has little power, Hugh Despenser, who is not an Earl but at least staunchly remains on our side, Edward's former tutor's son, a man named Guy Ferre who is kind enough but holds relatively little land and power, and a boy called Roger Mortimer. He has reasonable lands, I was technically in charge of managing them during his minority but he's old enough now that he's past fourteen I signed them back to him and Edward conferred it. It was honestly normal paperwork but the boy is content enough to remain on our side.
That's literally no one.
Everyone else, Warwick, Lincoln, Edward's step mother. The king of France. They are all in the opposition. It would be laughable if it weren't my life hanging in the balance. Their arguments muddy the air like smoke. There's no clear crime I've committed. Yes I hold an Earldom which was Edwards which he gave to me. Yes that now makes me richer than some of them (but not all, several have higher incomes than I, namely Lancaster). My worst crime is being disagreeable? Simply put I don't find them very nice either.
No. The gist of it all, after all the hurled accusations. That I act as a second king (by sitting by Edward's side?), that I don't deserve a seat in Parliament (that's up to Edward), that I lord my power over them (I haven't taken any of their lands or anything like that). After all that, and more, worse insults, is the words they don't speak.
Sodomite.
We know what you are.
"I love the king that is your complaint? It is clear you do not love your king or you would not threaten him thus, dog," I say, hands up to avoid pushing Warwick who has been shouting in my face to be gone.
Yes. That is their complaint.
I love the king.
But they can't say that. So they say everything else.
They are not going to yield.
The Archbishop of Canterbury is threatening to excommunicate me.
I don't think laughter was the appropriate response for that but I've given up on making my responses appropriate there isn't much point.
"I'm excommunicated? For what? Name one crime against god that you know I've committed. I'll wait," I laugh. The gall of it is sickening.
But we are also on the brink of civil war.
Richmond and Despenser join forces with me to negotiate with Edward. Their only role is to help mediate. Yes Lancaster's on our side but he's not a helpful person I don't suggest he help nor would he come.
"We have to yield," I say, arms folded.
"We do not yield," Edward growls, tears in his eyes, "They it is my country I am king—,"
"Respectfully your grace it shall not be for much longer," Richmond sighs.
"We can't fight them. And they are willing to fight no they are not right but nor is losing our heads," Despenser says.
"Look, let's make a tactile retreat," I say, holding up my hands, "I give up the Earldom if that means that much to them—,"
"No," Edward folds his arms.
"I can go stay in Gascony for a time," I say.
"Or Brittany that isn't in the country, if he leaves on our terms then he's not in exile and can return at any point," Richmond says, logically.
Edward breaths deeply.
"Look at me. We can do this. You are at war with your parliament we can't have that. Let's let things settle down," I say, taking his arms.
"I'll fight for you but I won't win," Richmond says.
"We don't have the men, my lord. Damn I'd fight them on principle, looks fun and god do they deserve it, but I'm telling you right now we'd lose," Despenser says.
"I'm not leaving you. But this is how we keep me alive," I say, softly, hand on his arm.
"Ireland," Edward says, anger still bubbling in his voice, "Ireland is closest. You can stay there till I get things sorted. Then you come home."
"Ireland?" I say, trying to think of where Ireland is. That's the island next to this one. What's on Ireland?