All the World (Hand in Hand Chronicles)

Chapter 21: " O, must this day be period of my life"

Freshly excommunicated and now a father of two small daughters, I make arrangements. It's obvious I'm not safe in England. And the Ordainers are planning an attack if they've ordered this. To that end, I don't want that attack to endanger my family.
Alice and Maggie stay with the babies in York.
"You're mothers and you've small children. They won't stoop to capturing you if they can have me," I reason.
"I'm staying with you," Aimee says.
"It's not wise," I argue.
"I don't have a child. And I will throw myself before you and beg them to spare you. If my words can protect you we'll use it. We must use everything we have," Aimee reasons.
I can't even argue it.
"Please be safe, please," Maggie says, fear in her voice.
"I shall," I kiss the top of her head. She's holding the baby, who has once again fallen asleep in her arms. I kiss the child's head as well. She doesn't stir, happy in her mother's arms.
"Just don't be stupid?" Alice asks. I smile.
"Papa don't leave, please?" My little daughter asks, frowning in concern.
"Just for a bit," I say, stroking her hair, "You've got a new little sister to look out for."
"I will," she nods.
"Good girl," I smile. She finally beams, dimples on her chubby cheeks.
Aimee and I go to Scarborough castle. Edward can grant it to me as a keep. And so we go about fortifying it. I stay but a couple of weeks, leaving Aimee to hold it should I need to return. I don't believe they'd kill her, but I believe they'd rape her. It's proving obvious that the threats of exile are likely going to turn to threats of violence.
It's nearly summer. I check on my family once more in York. The baby is well, and growing. She still knows my voice and claps when I speak to her. Somehow it calms me that my daughter at least knows my voice and is content for me to hold her. Flower clings to my neck and begs me not to go. But I dare not stay. Maggie is tough and feeling stronger every day. She and Alice are more than capable but I don't know what is coming even to caution them.
Edward is raising an army. He and Isabella meet me in York and go north to Newcastle. The Scottish border is likely held by Lancaster, but I have reasonable expectation I can slip by if necessary. This is rapidly becoming a game of merely protecting me. And I don't like it a bit. At what point will it go from me to the girls? And I'm becoming increasingly powerless.
Lancaster, for his part, is raising an army and moving north. However slowly, but he is. It's obvious he's preparing for a fight and has every intention of capturing me.
Isabella only goes with us as far as Tynemouth Priory, she's too ill to keep traveling. The summer heat affects us all, however she finally succumbs about a week in, admitting she can go no more.
"She thinks she's with child," Edward admits to me when I profess concern.
"That would do it," I nod, "Congratulations then?"
"We'll see, she's been ill," he shrugs a bit, clearly troubled. The reality of our situation is becoming more and more obvious.
We make it to Newcastle and Edward prepares to set up household there. Just as before, hiding in the north.
"This is getting absurd," I tell him.
"I will fight the world for you," he says, kissing me quickly, "All right? Let me do it."
I have nothing else left. I once more fall asleep safely locked in his arms. I pretend we're sixteen and hiding in his room, waiting for his stewards to come and wake him, sweaty and flush with youth and innocence. Believing we can always be that free.
We are nothing like that free.
We are woken to shouts. Edward as ever doesn't wake up.
"Get up, get up they're coming," I have to shake him awake, disentangling myself from his arms.
"My lord, Lancaster's not a half a day's ride," Big Rob tells us, when I open the door. Traditionally he isn't even surprised my hurriedly dressing self is here. He's found me in this state since I was sixteen.
"We're leaving. Right now," Edward says, finally awake and hurriedly dressing as people help him, "We'll meet Isabella at the Priory. Go fetch our horses."
We don't wait for the household to pack, instead riding on ahead. Judging by the dust cloud, we only narrowly escape Lancaster's grasp. Isabella is waiting at the priory, tears welling in her eyes when she sees us.
"What is he going to do?" She asks, rushing to Edward's arms.
"He can't kill us. He's merely trying to take power, we're well," Edward says, kissing her hair. His optimism is nearly nauseating. I want to ask him what makes him think Lancaster would not kill us. He's by now seized our belongings, which in Edward's case are worth a good deal.
"We're going back to Scarborough. Right?" I ask, shrugging.
"Is Aimee still there?" Edward asks.
"Yes, last word I got it's still ours," I sigh.
"I'm going with you," Isabella says, "They mean to harm Gaveston. Look."
She holds up a letter from Lancaster. Edward takes it. I come around and look.
" 'Rid us of your presence', that's a threat," she says to me.
"Aye, so it is, but it's not against you, this means he has no animosity towards you which is something," I say.
"He does not. We'll travel by sea to Scarborough, and I'll meet you in York," Edward tells her.
"I want to stay with you. They can't kill you if I beg them not to and plead for the child," she says, stubbornly, hand on her puffy skirt.
"My love, you were ill riding. It will be nearly a week at sea down the coast," Edward says.
Isabella glares at him.
She's rather short, so he kneels down to reason with her, "Meet me at York. I'll come I promise. We do not want to risk your life. Or a child's."
"He has no animosity for you. It's primarily me," I say, gently, "I'll deliver him to you in one piece."
She nearly smiles.
"Stay with the others in York, you'll be safe there. And I'll join you," Edward says, "All right?"
Isabella consents, nodding a bit. She does look paler than usual, and she's been ill for weeks. She doesn't need a voyage on sea of nearly a week. And the earls mean no threat to her.
"Just be safe," she says, stiffly, then she hugs him. She looks at me and twists her hands.
"Take care of yourself, all right? Will you tell my Maggie I'm well?" I ask.
"I will," she says. She's as tough as Maggie, I swear she'd frighten Lancaster if she had the mind, "Be safe, Gaveston." Then she does embrace me and I kiss her cheek. There are tears in her eyes.
We part with her embracing Edward one more time.
"Isabella's a bold one. I think if I told her to raise an army against Lancaster she would," he says, once we're safely on the ship. We now have, almost too much time to talk, and plan our next move.
"Her and Maggie both. But at the moment neither of them are in the condition to," I say.
"If I have a son, then we're a proper royal family. It gives me more power to negotiate with the king of France, her father. I can perhaps get an army," he says.
"And fight Lancaster?" I ask. I've known Lancaster since I was a boy. I know he doesn't lose.
"You stay at Scarborough. I'll go to York, and Isabella and I will raise an army," Edward says, confidently.
"Why?" I ask, softly, staring out at sea, "Edward you're going to have another child. You've a wife. A family. Your kingdom—,"
"My kingdom is you. My family is you. I am not complete if you are not with me," he says, cupping a hand on my head, "You've given my your life. The least I can do is take care of you."
"Promise me this will turn out all right? I know it might not be true. But promise me we'll win this time? I need to hear the words," I say, raising my hands to my face, "Just say it. I don't know where we're going."
"We will. We will make this time. We will have our days in the sun once more. We will spend Christmas at Langley. And once everyone is in bed, we'll go down to the river. And I'll row us back to that orchard, near the honey farm. And I'll probably talk you into going swimming in the cold water. And it won't matter that we're not still sixteen, and that the whole world has fallen apart since we grew up. Because we will still have each other. And in ten years I'll be pretending to stop you from teaching my sons to joust. And you'll spoil those little girls they'll get whatever they want. And it'll be an odd story that the children won't believe, that we tell them when the evening draws late, and we're sleepy with wine. And they shan't believe what we've been through. And that's how it's supposed to be. The world will be so safe that the past is nothing more than an improbable nightmare," Edward gently takes me in his arms, "I promise. I promise all the world. But mostly I promise my love."
"I won't stop fighting," I say, quietly, leaning against him. I know he thinks I mean to win. I mean even if we lose.
The next few days on the ship pass almost too quickly. It's arduous. But after so many trials there's an odd, almost false peace in simply being together. I'll stand on the deck and he casually puts his arms around me. I lean against him. At night we'll lie on the same bed simply staring at the ceiling. I can't think of how life got this confusing. It doesn't make sense anymore I can't even sort it out.
We disembark and make it to Scarborough. We have precious few men, who will go with Edward to Isabella. I, for my part, am staying at Scarborough with Aimee. It's well fortified. And in theory Edward has lifted my exile, even if now I'm excommunicated.
Aimee still holds the castle, but she's clearly relieved to see me. We embrace, then Edward bids us farewell. We part with a kiss and a long moment in the other's arms.
"A few days, I'll have an army," he says, hand to my cheek.
"We'll make it," I say, forcing one final, cocky grin. He kisses me again, and then he must go.
Aimee has messengers, that can reach Edward, and the others. The girls are all fine back in York, baby Joan is apparently, according to certain circles, 'stubborn as her father', she eats well and is not easily satisfied, but all around healthy. As it happens the issue was she did not want a wetnurse she likes her mother nursing her and singing to her, and now she's finally growing and thriving. That news is a relief, as is Maggie's continued health. She's safe with our newborn, that is what matters. Our little Flower keeps asking for me, she's sad everyday when I've not turned up. Alice assures me that she's well and they tell her we'll be home soon.
Except I don't know if we'll be together soon.
Scarborough is fortified, but not indefinitely. Aimee and I both know it.
We sit up late, going over scenarios, and mostly, waiting for the inevitable.
"Lancaster, and his followers, will want to force me to leave England. I'm excommunicated. I'm finished here," I say.
"Then for the love of God, Piers, go get on a ship and sail to France, sail anywhere," Aimee sighs, "You know I'll care for your daughters."
"And you know that isn't me," I say, quietly, "If I could even get out, and I don't know if I could they're watching the ports. I would be leaving him. I can't leave him."
She takes a deep breath, tears in her eyes.
"I'm so sorry it turned out like this," I say.
"I'm not. It's not you," she says, quietly, "It's them. We were living a good life."
I nod, "Arnaud—said I'm being punished. And it sure as hell feels like that now."
"You're not being punished. We are being—tested. And I don't know why," she says.
"It does feel like punished. Why is my sin so wicked?" I sigh.
"I don't care. I don't care if we're being punished. If god sent angels to say he was smiting you for your sins. I'd still stay by your side," she says, taking my hand.
"You probably shouldn't," I say.
"I am your sister. Of course I will fight god for you," she says, holding my hand, "I'll also tell you when you're being an idiot. And be cross with you for not saving yourself. But I'll also stand against the armies of heaven."
"I don't deserve that," I say.
"You don't have to deserve anything," she says, wrapping an arm around me, "All right? It's us. Together. And we will all see this through. Even if we go to the Orient."
"Jerusalem. Let's just go see if they let us in. I'll hold up the baby 'look I'm excommunicated and have a baby, let me in'," I say.
She laughs. So do I.
"Whatever it takes. We'll cut a place in the world," she says.
"Whatever it takes," I say.