This Love

Chapter 36

SCARLETT PARKER

"I mean, what the fuck was I supposed to do? They're obviously sleeping together if she's not even a real bartender and he still hired her, right? Why the fuck else would he have wanted to hire her if he wasn't thinking that he was just going to have a new fuck buddy? And she's totally the type who would be down to be the mistress in a relationship. I can tell she'd be excited about it like a fucking idiot. And she's hideous, dude. She's almost as ugly as his ex-fiancé. Can I smoke in here?"

Dr. Wright inhales a deep breath on my behalf, offering a tight smile to me. "I would prefer that you didn't smoke in here, but you're welcome to have one of these mints if that'll help you."

My heart is still pounding from my rant as I dig around in her candy bowl to pick out a green and white peppermint. "So anyway, that's why I broke up with him and that's why I'm fucking pissed."

"And, I'm sorry, did you actually see Harry doing something inappropriate with Erica?"

I pop the mint in my mouth. "No, but I can tell that they did."

"How do you know for sure?"

Okay, I get it, I can't know for sure. That being said, I'm positive it happened anyway. "Because why else would he hire her?"

"Well...what did Harry say when you asked him that question?"

Slowly, I resume my pacing in the small room. "He said that he was desperate to hire a bartender, but I didn't let him finish explaining."

Her expression softens as she gives me a look like I should know that I'm overreacting. The annoying thing is that I'm very much aware that I'm overreacting, but I'm doing it anyway. I can't help myself.

"Have you ever been cheated on in any previous relationships?"

"No, but what does that have to do with anything? There's a first time for everything, you know."

"That's true, but I'm struggling to understand your reasoning when Harry hasn't yet given you a reason not to trust him, and if I may suggest...I'm wondering if perhaps you're accusing him because you're afraid of being hurt. For many people, they find it's best to leave their partner before their partner can leave them. Do you think you might be sabotaging your relationship because of that?"

Before I can seem vulnerable and have her think that she's spot on, I laugh and move the mint around with my tongue. "I don't think Harry would ever choose to leave me. I know you haven't met him, but he's sort of obsessed with me."

She smiles to herself. "Well, if he's obsessed with you, then I doubt very much that he would be unfaithful to you with a woman who works for him. That doesn't sound like the man you described to me during your first appointment."

Truth be told, the idea of Harry cheating on me truly is laughable if I think about it like a logical, non-psychotic person. In the back of my mind, I understand that he truly is obsessed and in love with me, but the non-logical and psychotic part of me is convinced that he's out there banging every girl he can get his hands on just so he can experience some normalcy before he has to go back to the basket-case he calls a girlfriend. He's with me because he feels sorry for me, that's what it is.

"Can we talk about something else now?"

"Sure," she shifts in her seat. "What would you like to talk about?"

"I don't know," I scoff. "You're the therapist, aren't you supposed to ask me questions and whatever?"

"Alright, well...we could speak more about your paperwork since we didn't get to finish that last week, yes?"