Presidential Gayverse: The Orange and the Purple

Chapter 1 - First Eye Contact

Alex Jones, in a fit of rage, lashed out at Thanos for "betraying" him over the alleged collusion with the shady company, Gay Frogs Chemical. Thanos pleaded, insisting someone was trying to throw dirt on his name. The big purple twunk knew in his heart he was innocent, but Alex wasn't having any of it. The loudmouthed, testosterone-fueled man started to cry, declaring it was over. He stormed out, leaving Thanos behind. The ballsack-chinned purple twunk wept—not loudly, but softly, with a heavy heart. The pain cut so deep that he decided to leave the East Coast altogether, retreating to the solitude of Wyoming. He packed half his shit into his truck and a U-Haul, vowing never to lay eyes on that devil's cabbage-smoking, psychedelic-using asshole again.

Five years later, Thanos stood on his ranch, watching hover vehicles zip by in the distance. The land had been in his family for generations, passed down from his grandfather, Obamenos, and grandmother, Rosetta Ashtori. Obamenos was a towering figure, his light purple skin tinged with the faintest hints of gray, his emerald eyes still kind and wise. Rosetta, with her flowing silver hair and striking violet-red eyes, carried an air of timeless grace. They were old, yes, but their faces betrayed little of the years—only their bodies showed the weight of time. Thanos adored them, and when they decided to retire, he returned to his roots, taking over the ranch to honor their legacy.

The ranch was his sanctuary—a place of peace, quiet, and abundance. The land provided everything he needed, and with the help of his robotic farmhands and the reformed Black Order, things ran smoothly. The Black Order, a group originally assembled by his grandparents long before he was born, had been reimagined by Thanos to serve a new purpose: maintaining the ranch and protecting the family legacy.

But today was special. Thanos had a little surprise for Obamenos and Rossetta. He couldn't wait to see their faces when they found out. The big purple twunk smiled to himself, his ballsack chin wrinkling slightly as he thought about the joy it would bring them. After all these years, he had finally found a way to give back to the two people who had given him so much.

"Grandfather, grandmother... open your eyes," Thanos said softly, his voice tinged with giddiness as he stood behind them, hands resting on their shoulders. They obliged, their eyes widening as they took in the sight before them. The house, once weathered by time, now stood proudly renovated, its walls gleaming under the sunlight. The fields, once sparse, were now lush and brimming with life, stretching out like a vibrant tapestry.

"Oh, Thanos..." Grandma Rossetta whispered, her violet-red eyes shimmering with tears. Her voice was a mix of awe and gratitude.

"I knew you two would be happy," Thanos said, his deep voice trembling slightly as he fought back his tears. "I even fixed your old car and your favorite seats," he added, pointing to the restored vehicle parked nearby, its polished surface reflecting the golden hues of the setting sun.

Grandma Rossetta turned and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into a tight embrace. She planted a kiss on his cheek, her silver hair brushing against his face. "Grandma Rossetta is so proud of my big purple boy," she said, her voice warm and full of love.

Grandpa Obamenos, standing a few steps away, crossed his arms and nodded approvingly. "So glad to see you heal and away from that conspiracy nut job of a boyfriend," he remarked, his tone gruff but laced with relief. His emerald eyes softened as he looked at Thanos, his stern expression melting into a rare, radiant smile—a smile that seemed to lift the weight of the world off his shoulders. It was a smile that breathed sunshine, one that spoke of pride and unconditional love.

Thanos didn't respond to his grandfather's comment, knowing there was no need. Obamenos was right, as he always was. The old man stepped forward and joined the hug, his strong arms wrapping around both Thanos and Rossetta. No words were needed; the embrace said it all. Obamenos was simply glad—glad that his grandson, his big purple boy, had found peace and purpose in the family legacy.