I JUST WANT YOU TO LIKE ME | ✓

▬ 17: cherry tree

I glance over the laptop screen to check that Ziri is still focused on his phone. Sprawled on the sofa, he's on a video call to his parents because he decided to stay home this weekend. His laughs hum at the back of his throat as he talks to them about nothing in particular, and he doesn't seem to be aware of the world outside his screen. Good.

I open Facebook and, with light fingers as if Ziri will hear what I'm writing from the sound of the keys, type Dominic Eaton into the search bar. I've done this so many times by now that I find his profile with ease.

I never get further than a glance before I have to shut the tab, but I'm determined to see more today. So, even as my body feels like it's deteriorating at hyperspeed and I'll crumble from old age within minutes, I scroll through the information panel that lists his job, schools, and universities until I get to "lives in: Leeds, England" and I realise something's missing.

The only place of study is the University of Leeds, but he did his master's in Germany, didn't he? I can't remember where — I'm not sure if he ever told me where — but that's why we split, because he moved to Germany.

I click on the photos tab, but his account was created in 2008, and there are no pictures from before then. I glare at the screen for refusing to give me answers before I open a new tab and go to MySpace. I never took Dominic as the type of person to actively post on MySpace, but turns out he was.

As I start scrolling down two years' worth of "pics" as the site calls them, the rational part of me suggests that maybe he just didn't add his German university to his Facebook profile. There are a million reasons why he wouldn't, and he did make his account after he would've graduated.

The more rational part of me suggests that I may actually be insane because there are very few non-crazy explanations for me MySpace-stalking my ex. But I can't bring myself to stop.

It takes plenty of scrolling, but when the dates finally start in 2006, I slow down. Soon enough, I find a picture of Dominic surrounded by moving boxes with another man beside him, captioned "moving day". The date is 23 June 2006. So he did move to Germany.

Except I click through the next few posts, and the apartment is definitely in England because one of the photos is the view from the kitchen window, and there's a printing service on the ground floor called Quick Print with a British phone number on the window. It looks a lot like Leeds. 

Why would he move flat within Leeds in June if he was gonna move to Germany in August? Or maybe he was just helping the other bloke move. But why would he post so much about that?

I look through the pictures until I freeze at one of Dominic and the man from the first photo on what can only be a date, which is confirmed by the caption: Two years. Love you forever. The man is tagged as the profile of Iain Cooke and the date is 9 October 2006. Two years.

My fist tightens around the mouse as I scroll down so quickly that I can hardly see the photos until I halt at random and find another picture with Iain Cooke. The date is 14 June 2005. I met Dominic only two months after the photo was posted.

As I stare at it, I realise that I recognise him. One Saturday, when Iris was on a playdate at Olivia Stonem's home, I couldn't take Má, so I went to Dominic's — that's where I went when I needed to get out of the house, rather than running.

When I knocked, it wasn't Dominic who opened the door, but a stranger. He was wearing nothing but a morning robe despite it being one in the afternoon. Though he was equally perplexed by my school uniform on a Saturday.

It took me a moment to slog out of my confusion. "Sorry, is Dominic home?"

The man smiled and stepped back from the door. "Dom, there's some kid here to see you."