𝐁𝐄𝐓☆tom kaulitz.

do the act like you never met me

- ☆

to say my heart sunk would be an understatement. i could feel all the memories rush through me, although i didn't want them to.

me and tom used to date in our first year of high school. we knew each other so well, considering we grew up together since middle school. he was my purest form of love, and also my first. before their departure, he had slowly ghosted me. although i intended to confront him about it, he was gone by the time i gathered the courage. he had never cared to explain what went on and i was tired of all the headlines containing his name and a new woman every time, so i took it as a clear breakup.

i brushed this interaction off and turned back around. he didn't bother me a second time, instead he started whispering with the girl that was next to him. her giggles made me sick to my stomach. when the bell rang, i basically sprinted outside and went to the 'abandoned' lab building in the schoolyard so i could smoke in peace. i lit a cig and played TV Girl in my headphones.

gather around, have you heard the latest news?

i looked over at the kids skating around and talking. i spotted bill and emma laughing under the sun. bill was a sweetheart, but i had to be cautious. he hurt us once, what would stop him from doing it again? i needed to stay detached, so i could look out for emma. she has had a crush on him ever since we were young, but she never brought it up to him. she spent a lot of nights sobbing on my shoulder when he left.

i feel something poke me from the side and i jolt towards it, startled. 'so you don't recognize me no more or...?' tom's voice filled the empty room like a song blasting in a club at 3am. i look at him, unphased. 'come on, y/n, you know you missed me', he spread his arms, hoping for a hug. instead, i turned my head and continued smoking, 'you used to jump on me before when i did this...' i saw him smirk. his scent filled the air rapidly and i felt suffocated in his presence. 'you don't know me anymore' i said sharply, 'and i don't know you either.' he took the cigarette from between my fingers and took a hit, 'ok then, let me get to know you again'. the small touch of our hands had my heart racing, and i knew staying would only make it worse. i got up and started walking towards the door when i felt his arms sneak around me, 'y/n wait-'

'i did. for too long' i pushed his arms off of me and left, leaving him alone in silence. i walked towards bill and emma and joined their conversation. we then walked together to our next class. i tried to focus on random things that were happening to get away from thinking about tom. he has gotten taller and prettier, not that he wasn't always like that, but he now had this energy surrounding him that sucked everyone in like a black hole. at the end of the day, bill called us over to his to hang out. i didn't really want to go but emma begged me to, so i obliged.

☆ -

we reached their house and all the memories started playing in my head - how we used to run around the place, playing random games, how we shared our first cigarette in tom's room... the nostalgia hit hard and i almost felt tears creeping up my eyes but i controlled them. we went inside and their mom kind of jumped us - she ran and hugged both of us, telling us that we've grown into beautiful young women. we went upstairs to bill's room, and i finally had a moment alone with emma when bill went to get snacks.

'he ambushed me in the lab after first period' i gave her a death stare, just so she can feel that it wasn't very nice of her to keep his arrival away from me. 'y/n... you moved on. it's been hard, but you did it. his presence or absence shouldn't matter anymore', yes, shouldn't - but just because it shouldn't doesn't mean it doesn't. the scene from earlier was replaying in my head. was i too harsh on him? 'maybe i was too harsh on him... jesus fuck has he gotten hot tho sheeesh' i admit, giving her a half-smirk, 'hey, it's not nice to dish over me behind my back! do it with me here' tom barged into the room, looking all smug and proud that he had heard that. 'we were talking about bill, you still built like a middle schooler', i served him one back, 'no, no, i've grown... not just in height' he winked at me and i mumbled 'not in brains for sure', just to have the last word.

we decided to take rounds playing mortal kombat on the ps4 against each other, and the loser of each match had to take a shot after. i am very competitive when it comes to games so i managed to stay sober until i battled tom. he beat my ass the first round and i got mad, so i asked for a rematch. that happened about 4 times before i managed to beat his ass back. we were both so caught up in our endless fight that we hadn't noticed bill and emma all cuddled up in the bed behind us, falling asleep. when we finally did, we smiled to ourselves and tom suggested we move the party to his room.

tom's room was the same as i remembered it. he sat down on his chair as i looked around. 'you still have this?' i asked, looking at a photo of the two of us on his wall, 'at least i have proof that you did actually stand me at one point in this lifetime', he smiled innocently, 'might wanna hold onto that now that i don't and won't ever again' i sighed to myself, a dumb smile plastered on my face, probably because of the alcohol inside of me. tom stood up and came behind me, his shadow towering over me. i felt my heart skip a beat as his warmth was radiating onto me. his voice was now deeper and when he spoke, the whole world stopped spinning for a second.

'just so you know... i think you've gotten pretty hot too'

- ☆