Undying Devotion

The journey of agony, starts.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~And what strange is that the stranger is nicer-----

Hey diary,

Today my arrival to this new venue of life  and this imaginative hobby of committing my thoughts to you is about to pass 6 months and I know , I know I never picked you up in these six months after filling your first few pages with my darkness and trust me , I never thought that I would ever have any good experience in my life to tell you so badly , cause even the air around me knows how I am blessed with grief and despair , but today I have this urge to tell you something so hard that I have a person in my life around whom I am forgetting my existence I am forgetting my tears who have been  so adamant to roll down my cheeks every night since the death of Amma and baba... I don't know if I am happy or if I am careless about my emotions around them  but definitely my eyes are at peace ...

Bye ...

A smile blossomed  on haseena's face seeing Karishma inscribing  something in her favour going beyond her ill-fated life , but also she got tensed that who that person is and the moment she felt that this diary has some more pages filled she can't help herself but turned the pages so quickly just to know the name  , was she jealous or was she just curious she doesn't have any answers , and so with these curled up questions she continued reading the next page of the diary which was the second last , but to her surprise there was not any experience of a day shared but something that again made haseena question about Karishma ...

I am always thinking about her before I fall asleep , we are not friends , we are not connected in any ways still she keeps coming in my thoughts ,the words she says while she greets to each and every army of friends she has earned , the way she looks to each and every child she has been helping with their life as if they are her own children , I don't like kids be it of any age but I like the scene where she likes them and they like her .

Bye....

Haseena's heart skipped few beats thinking about that person who has similar traits as hers and the mere inkling of this feeling itself made haseena wipe her sweat even in that freezing cold weather of Paris and she immediately closed the diary as it has one last page to read ..

It took haseena a few good minutes to come out the trance of karishma's words and thoughts just then a phone call appeared and haseena had no clue how much this particular call holds the power of an eternity to break her heart into zillion pieces and it was just the start ....

Hello, haseena Mallik IB department se ye khabar mili hai ki karishma Singh koi spy officer nahi balki khud uss sangthan ka ek hissa hai jo hamare department ki saari khabre un darindo tak pahuchati ayi hai unhone ham sab ko dhokha diya hai Naa jane woh kitne saal se iski taiyaari kar rahi hai aur sirf hamari Nazar me shi Bane rehne ke liye unhone apka bhi saath diya, hame toh kuch samj me nhi aa raha hai ye ho kya Raha hai aur ham uss jagah ko bhi access nhi kar paa rhe ap abhi ke abhi waha apni team ke saath pahuchiye  aur  unhe wha se pakad kar kanoon ke hawale kariye , agar woh Zinda haath lagti hai toh thik  warna mauka milte hi usee mar dijiye ....

Jai hind ....

Haseena : Jai hind sir ....
A stern and straight faced voice came from her which was beyond the feeling of pain and negative thoughts ...

She then picked up the diary again and read the last page with a pinch of hope in heart that it may have conserved some healing words for her before she made her way to do her duty ,   but agony has a bad habit of stabbing  and killing from all the possible ways and so the last page said ...

Today it's been 8 months since Haseena and I met, and from the last two months  I just held you in my hand, never even wrote anything because to be honest, I was busy reading someone ,   For the last 2 months she parks her car somewhere out of my sight and doesn't know why she looks at me, she thought that I don't know but it's not so, I know everything except the reason behind it, but I don't say i don't like it or it makes me awkward in any ways .  I have a secret too , Let me  tell you today because the next 2 days may be the last days of my life and the secret is that since childhood, I used to love to celebrate my birthday in Assam with my family because that is my mother's maternal home and she had shown me  many paintings of that heavenly place which she has drawn by herself and her drawing was so good that it somewhere fantasies me to celebrate my birthday which is by the way comes on 18th of may  , well this too remained a dream because now I am only a guest of couple of days on this earth .I don't think I have any words left to say to you, I just had an earnest wish that I am willing to be fulfilled, but I don't think that's too much to ask now .
I want haseena to hug me for the first time ever , and please don't ask me the reason but  I passionately want to do this I don't understand why my heart feels that her embrace will bless me , i don't get the point  why my arms feel that if they will ever get  a chance to get  wrapped around her they won't shiver to do the sin i am about to commit , i don't know why my soul admits to me that only if i could cage her in me just for once even if it's for a moment  then the evil inside me will get a solace to live in, beyond eternities ....but that's just a dream as I so despirately wanted to feel her and hug her before I could hug my end ....