𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙠𝙚𝙙

XXXVIII

I woke up, completely wrapped in my blanket on the floor of the Astronomy Tower. The stars from last night had vanished along with the moon which was replaced by a bright sun in the open blue sky. I rolled over to see Riddle sleeping against the railing, violin resting beside him. 

"You snore," he suddenly said, eyes still shut. I shot into an upright position. 

"I do not," I defended, jaw dropped as his eyes finally opened, revealing his dark brown eyes. 

"I had to listen to you snore while I played for you then tried to go to sleep," he stated as I crossed my arms, face flushing in embarrassment. "At least it wasn't loud enough to shake the castle. Only the tower." I attempted to kick him but just ended up stubbing my toe on the railing. 

"Oww," I whined, clutching my foot. 

"You sound like a baby. Are you always like this in the morning?" I shot him a glare. 

"When I spent the night without a mattress or pillow? Yes." I hesitated for a second before continuing. "But thank you for the music, you're very talented." I didn't know if it was the sun, or the morning vision, but if I didn't know better, I'd say he was blushing the slightest bit, his lips tugging upward. 

"I try," he smirked, carefully putting away his violin. God, it was such a beautiful instrument. It was one of those things that I loved but could never do, it made me jealous of him. 

"Mattheo?" He began to smile as he stared straight into my eyes. "What?" 

"You said my name again." I saw genuine joy in his eyes. I looked at him, forcing my eyes to keep from moving from his, it was physically impossible. I crawled over without a second thought and slowly placed my lips on his. It was short, I pulled away in shock. 

"Oh my fuck," I whispered, touching my lips with my fingers, still feeling the sting. "What did I just do? I'm so sorry." This was the first time I saw sympathy fill his eyes. 

"It's okay. You're coping." 

"But like- what? How long ago was it that you were sending me those texts? And now I'm kissing you? No offence, but what is wrong with me? Oh god, I'm so fragile." I sat back in shock, rethinking everything I ever did this year. 

"At least you're aware of it," he shrugged. 

"I'm having a quarter-life crisis, stop it." I tugged my knees closer to my chest, rocking back and forth. "What am I doing?" I whisper. 

"You're cute when you're stressed." My eyes snapped to his, brows furrowing. "Your nose shivers and you bite your lip." I rolled my eyes, but inside I was blushing, how did he pay much close attention? He looked away and silently swore. "We should get going before Filch finds out there are students out of bed." I tried to hide my disappointment, but I knew how much my face dropped. 

As we walked back in silence, my phone buzzed. 

* 
Friday 26, 8:54 am 
sexy beasts🍒🍑 

gina 🍒 
where are you? 

pans 🍑  
we need to talk
we both feel betrayed
i don't want to say it because i love you, but you're a real shitty friend 

gina 🍒 
we feel as though after you started texting those two boys that we're just second thoughts 
we tried to ignore it and always be there for you, but it's rlly hard when you don't put in the effort on your end 
and it's not just us 
that post last night? 
that rlly hurt all of us, pansy, me, theo, and blaise 

pans 🍑 
it's rlly reckless of you
you say you hate them but you're still so hung up on them
i don't know if you actually liked blaise or if you were just sleeping around for shits and giggles, but either way, he's hurt 

gina 🍒 
i know it might not have been the goal, but you kind of played theodore too 
he liked it when you kissed him at the party just for you to ignore it all 
yes, we encouraged you to go after him, but there were better ways to approach 
people's feelings can get hurt easily, beatrix 

* 

I stared at the texts, the blue light hurting my eyes this early in the morning, or maybe those were tears stinging my ears. I never liked confrontation, but I knew how true all this was. I was a shitty friend. How many times did Regina and Pansy check up on me? And how many times did I check up on them? Never, not that I remember. 

I shut off my phone, trying to blink back tears. 

"Just explain." I turned my head. 

"Just explain?" I repeated back, my voice filled with venom. "What is there to explain? They already explained everything." 

"Yes, they did," Mattheo stated, "from their point of view. Explain yours." 

"Do you know how bad I am at explaining things? Especially to two people who I'm pretty sure hate me right now." He shoved his hand in his pocket while the other held onto the violin case. 

"Maybe they do hate you, but Pansy said that she still loves you. They could never turn against you, they're just hurt and confused." I unlocked my phone, opening my messages again. 

* 
Friday 26, 9:07 am 
sexy beasts🍒🍑 

bea 💦
let's talk 

~ ~ ~ 
IM BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK 

so sorry for the wait, i was on vacation :D 
(sort of) 
anyways 

best vacation spot you've been to? 

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