The Flaws Of Levi Heiland

Obsession

Levi knew it was a dream because it smelled of chamomile. His dream always smelled of chamomile; saccharine with a faint smokiness. Like the herbs his mother grew.

He inhaled deeply, opening his eyes to a world flipped on its axis. Levi stood on a sky of indigo, pinpricks of golden stars and slivers of silver moons hung below him as if tied to invisible strings. And above him was a sky blue sea; close enough to reach out and touch yet too far away to grasp.

Levi wasn’t bothered by the unnatural landscape; had grown used to it during his countless visits to this place. Instead, he focused on the path before him, the one that had made a strip of the indigo sky turn worn; turn pale.

Striding down it, his eyes darted toward the brightest of the moons suspended below his feet. Its edges were already turning black, becoming eclipsed by the world’s shadow. He had to hurry, before the moon darkened fully and the dream crumbled around him.

At the end of the path was a cave made of turquoise and jasper. Levi ducked over its jutting stone and entered. Under his feet the sky gave way to stone; soft enough to sleep on. A crude pedestal hunkered in the far back of the cave, and atop it rested a stone.

The stone was nothing special at first glance: A shade of plain gray, and round and smooth, as if it had resided in a riverbed for some time. But, inside it, if you look very closely, it shimmered with something. Something mystical. Stardust.

The longer Levi looked at it, the more his hands clenched and unclenched. He panted, desire making his blood run hot and sluggish in his veins. Everytime. Everytime he gazed upon the stone it nearly brought him to his knees with how much he wanted it.

He ached to reach out and grab it. Take it. Make it his. Oh, what he’d give to own that stone. But he knew taking it wouldn’t work. If he tried the dream would shatter to stardust around him. The only way to possess the stone was to make it desire him as much as he did it.

There was a time, earlier, when he’d succeeded in this. But the moon had eclipsed before he could own the stone.

This time would be different.

Exhaling, Levi dropped to the plush stone floor. He crossed his legs, leaned back a bit, and closed his eyes.

The want still heated his veins, but he forced himself to calm. His heartbeat slowed, and he struggled to keep it steady. Keep it strong. He breathed deeply, in, out. His desire ebbed away, as did the tension in his muscles. The longer he sat, the easier it was for him to forget he was sitting. Time became irrelevant; the soft ground below him disappeared; the scent of chamomile faded.

Levi suppressed a shivered, temperature dropping. Years could have passed for all he knew, or it could have been less than a second.

All he knew was that at some point his chest began to tingle. His breath hitched. His heart fluttered. He exhaled slowly, forcing the little tremors in his hands to stop. He had to be calm, his heart could not waver. It had to be slow, strong, steady; and he had to be dependable. Desirable.

The tingling grew to a buzzing, like a swarm of bees converging in Levi’s chest. Once again he shook, and this time Levi couldn’t help but open his eyes.

The stone hovered before him, stardust reflecting brilliant colors in its core, pulsing in time with the beat of his heart. It took everything not to snatch it from the air, and it took everything to keep his breathing even. Levi slowly, painfully, reached out for it.

When there was just a silver between him and it, the distance of a speck of stardust, a loud crack rumbled in his ears. The stone jerked away like a startled animal, zipping back toward its pedestal.

“Wait, no!” Levi shouted, reaching out. But it was too late. Around him, the world fractured. The cave gave way. And he fell upward. But also he fell downward, because technically it was down. Battering waves reached out to meet him. His vision warped. His lungs filled with water. The smell of chamomile disappeared.

Levi shouted, closed his eyes, braced himself, and the next time his eyes opened, it wasn’t to an upside down world, but rather it was to the ceiling of his apartment. He gasped for breath, then scrambled toward his bedside table.

“Damnit, damnit!” Levi hissed.

He fumbled for some sleeping pills, and then swallowed them dry, despite his parched throat. His ears rang as a bout of dizziness blurred his vision. His heart was sluggish as he slumped back down against his pillow, like every beat was a struggle.

Levi rubbed his aching eyes, and glanced out his window. It was dark outside; night time. This would be the third shift he’d missed in a row.

He should’ve been bothered by this. But Levi wasn’t. He couldn’t care less. All he could think about was the stone. He wanted it. Needed it.

A spike of pain throbbed behind his eyes. Levi groaned, turning his back to the window. He felt absolutely dreadful. He borrowed his face deep into his pillow, and it muffled his breathing, making it hot against his mouth. Levi ignored it, focusing on the lethargic beat of his heart.

He was desperate to fall back asleep, and not just because of his body’s misery. A single thought was writhing like a serpent inside him; slamming into his skull with enough force to make his head pound.

Get the stone. Possess the stone.

Nothing else mattered until then. Nothing.

Curled into his bed, Levi allowed his mind to slowly fracture; to surrender to oblivion. So that it could be reformed in a world that smelled of chamomile.