Dreamcatcher Oneshots

The Day Before [SuaYeon]

"It was difficult at first

More than I will admit

It was burdensome

But after accepting it,

It makes me too sorrowful."

Small and delicate fingers slide across the keyboard, her thumb stopping at the space bar, and applying light pressure to it. She pulled her shaky hand away from the keyboard and rested it on her lap.

Her eyes looked at the screen as she watched the video for what felt like the nth time. Even though it pained her to view the video over and over again, she just couldn't stop and found herself clicking the space bar again.

Torturing herself over and over again.

Her mind was still in denial.

"Honestly, this is the truth

There is no use in trying to hold on to the scattered pieces

It will only break my heart

But as I continue living like this,

I wonder what the point of living is"

She couldn't accept that the person she cared for the most in the world, the person she promised to protect from the dangers in the world, and the only person she had in this world—was gone. She was gone for good, with no possibility of coming back.

Her computer was set at the highest amount of volume, the sound of her late lover's voice ringing in her ears as she continued studying every little detail. Her eyes were begging for a break, she had been staring at the screen for hours now, not even looking away once as her hand kept on clicking the space bar.

Crust and a mucus-like substance started to form around her lash line, causing pain and irritation each time she blinked. At this point, she didn't care if her eyelids stayed shut and she wouldn't be able to see anymore. Because at least then, she won't be subjected to the agony that is her current life.

The brunette started feeling a bit dizzy and lightheaded; her body really needed rest from staying up for days straight now. Her skin went from a healthy, sun-kissed color to a pale, gray color. Her once strong and muscular body—from years of dancing—is now gone.

From the day she lost her, she also lost herself.

She felt unrecognizable—she looked unrecognizable.

"I was resentful at first

And crying - I cried a lot

But after continuing on in this way

I wondered what I was doing"

She scoffed at how ridiculous she looked and felt. She scoffed at how she allowed herself to rely that much on a person. She hated herself for her self-pity and patheticness; she hated herself for not doing enough to help her; and she hated herself for blaming herself.

But she despised her.

She despised her for leaving her alone without a proper goodbye, for leaving her to dwell on her pain and self-pity.

Maybe that was what she hated and hurt the most—that her sorrow and grief had now turned into anger and resentment. She wasn't sure if it was towards herself or her late lover, but she disliked the feeling.

"Honestly, this is the truth

There is no use in trying to hold on to the scattered pieces