Hold On To Me || Kirk Hammett

Part 22- Right or Wrong?

I UPDATEDDD!!!!!! I've finally got out of my lazy ass phase and I'm ready to finish this shit.

Savannah's POV

I've begun to shake. 

My body is suddenly fighting a maelstrom of emotions.

The feeling was far too cursed to describe. It felt like a raging hot volcano had exploded through my body, while an earthquake shook my heart. It was like I had eaten ten of the spiciest chilies and red-hot anger was burning inside me.

It was more than anger. It was more than rage. It was more than fury. It was 15,000 feelings of disbelief hole-punched in my heart. 

I was trying to find some plausible explanation to justify this horrendous headline that was staring me in my face, mocking me, teasing me. I was trying to find something that will sit me down and reassure me that this is some silly prank by some silly reporter. 

But the truth is a jealous, vicious mistress that never ever sleeps.

My breathing is shallow and hard to swallow, my fingers shaking so fast I clench them into a fist.  Inadvertently causing my nails to start digging into my palms until I was sure I had drawn blood.

Then I saw that fucker.

"Hey, Lars!" I shouted from the hallway, rushing towards him, the urge to slam my fists in his face bubbling inside of me. 

"Savannah, thank god." He said, worry morphing his usual features into something much more unhinged.

Perhaps I wasn't the only one who had found that newspaper, and he knew that I would make a beeline for him. I knew that fucker was poes scared of me. 

"Thank god." I mocked his accent, before switching to full South African. Deeper voice. Trilling R's, and furious, "I will moer  you if you ever take Kirk anywhere again!"

I looked Lars up and down, oh boy, am I going to have fun beating up that little shit. But then, James caught wind of my voice, walking over to stand behind Lars.

 I clenched my jaw. I could easily take on Lars, Kirk was a little more difficult but I was sure I could do some damage. But James? He was much more muscular and taller than me...

Dammit, where are those gats when I need them? Duncan could definitely land some blows on James if he put some effort into it.

"Look, I don't have time for your shit!" Lars said, cutting my protests off, "Kirk is in the hospital."

WHAT? 

~~~~

I fall to the floor, my mind whirring, my own brain no longer a safe space to inhabit because I can't stop thinking. I can't stop wondering. I can't stop anything and it's like I'm caught in what could be a head-on collision and I'm not the innocent bystander.

In the train. 

I'm the one careening out of control.

Because sometimes you see yourself- you see yourself the way you could be the way you might be if things were different. And if you look too closely, what you see will scare you, it'll make you wonder what you might do if given the opportunity. You know there's a different side of yourself you don't want to recognize, a side you don't want to see in the daylight. You spend your whole life doing everything to push it down and away, out of sight, out of mind. You pretend that piece of yourself doesn't exist.