The day it went downhill. -Tubbo angst, trans Tubbo au

Please get off me...

Im listening to generation loss on spotify while writing this but you can also see it bc its on a podcast so im so distracted lmao but ill try and focus NOW ENJOYY <333 (btw some extra info this jackson guy is 16)

Tubbo POV

TW: SA, cursing

I agreed to go with Jackson because i knew i didn't really have a choice. He led me to an unused classroom and locked the door. Shit. The bell rang. Jackson locked the door, this couln't  go well. (Jackson speaks underlined, Lya (Tubbo) speaks in italic)

Why are we here?

Well lya, i think you are a very pretty girl...

I shivered, even tho i was trans, i was still attracted to men, but this felt wrong, really wrong. I didn't like Jackson, i never even talked to him before! And everytime someone calls me a girl i just get... uncomfortable. Jackson got closer to me, and i wanted to get out of here as quick as possible.

Shouln't we go to class? the bell already rang.

Oh honey, who cares about class? All i care about is you and your beautiful body....

In the meantime he got so close that our lips almost touched. This couldn't be happening, no, its all just a nightmare, its not real. I closed my eyes, trying to wake up from this terrible dream. But instead of waking up in my bed, i felt Jackson his cold lips touch mine, and his tongue slipping in my mouth. 

Oh, i see, you're enjoying it aren't you? 

Shit. I shouldn't have closed my eyes, now he thinks i like it. I tried to push him away, but that only caused him to tighten his grip even more, and he started biting my lips, then going down to my neck.

'Scream, and ill make your life a living hell.' He whispered to me.

I felt his warm breath on my face, as he came closer, and closer, and closer... I felt his hands going in my shirt, taking it off.

No, no, no, no, no, no! Please, someone help me, i can't do this anymore! I felt his hands going down to my pants. Shit, shit shit. He pushed me on the table, and started getting on top of me. I tried to fight back, but he was too strong. 

'Don't you dare, or you know what will happen' He said, with a threatening tone

Jackson, i- really need to go now

No you don't. You go when i tell you, that you can go.

I felt it going in, slowly, and then faster, harder. 

You should relax more, i enjoy that. That's exactly how i like my girls, young, hot and relaxed.

But i just couldn't relax. What did he expect? Of course i wasn't able to relax when im being raped! At least im lucky that im only 11 so i didn't get my period yet, wich means i can't get pregnant. That's something, right?

He just didn't stop, it kept going, more and more. And suddenly, i felt a weird liquid entering my body. I knew what it was, but it still send a shiver down my spine. I wanted to scream so badly, but i knew that that wouldn't end well for me, so i stayed quiet. Waiting for this horrible nightmare to end.

He went on for so long, that i don't even know what time it is anymore. At first i tried guessing a bit by when the bell rang, but now i just can't anymore. Im just so, so tired. How does he not get exhausted? I feel like im about to puke. What if i do? It would definitly scare him off. He wouln't be happy about it tho.

I hated him. I hated everything about this. I hate this school, this city, these people, this life... I just want it to stop. Please, make it stop. It's all i ask for, not a single other thing. I have the feeling that i'll never feel clean again. There is liquid all over my body, i feel disgusting.

Is he still not tired yet? I feel him coming up again, oh no that can't be good. 

Open your mouth.

I shake my head. i'd rather die then do that. He starts looking at me, threatening and angry.

I said, open your mouth. NOW!

What if i don't?

Oh you got the guts to talk back to me like that. Believe me, i'll remember that. And not in a good way, oh no. Now open your damn mouth, or i'll kick the shit out of you.

Fuck im scared. What do i do? I really don't want him to put his private parts in my mouth, thats disgusting! But oh god im scared. because if i don't, who knows what will happen? Bad things, that's for sure. But could it be worse then this? I don't know. Do i even have a choice? if i don't do it, he'll probably force my mouth open with his hands, and it would all be for nothing. 

So i did it. I did what he said, opened my mouth, and i feel a hard stick coming in it. I swear im gonna puke, how do some people do this for fun? 

Suck it.

Oh hell nah, that really crosses the edge. I couldn't say anything tho, my mouth was blocked. But im not gonna suck that shit, eating cow shit would be more enjoyable then that.

Do it, now.

Panick started rising in my chest, what do i do? Whatever i do, it's all going to have bad consequences! There is no good ending to this! I don't get a good choice! It's not fair!

I SAID NOW! 

He started yelling, it could be a good thing. Maybe somebody would hear us! I decided maybe if i kept resisting he would yell harder and someone would hear it.

And what if i dont?

Oh you will reget saying that, you fucking bitch!

I felt a fist in my stomach, he started punching me like crazy. Sinds it was to late now anyway, i started to scream as loud as i could. Apparently Jackson didn't like that, obviously. He slammed my head into the wall, and i started feeling dizzy. I hoped it was worth it and that someone would save me. But even after what i thought was about 30 minutes, no one showed up. Was school already done?

I tried to defend myself, but Jackson was five years older then me so i was hopeless. After a while i was just laying in a puddle of my own blood. My head started spinning and suddenly, everything went black.

WOO MY LONGEST CHAPTER YET! For the next week i am going on a camp tho so im not gonna be able to upload but after that i will be at my grandparent's house so if im allowed to take my laptop or phone ill try and upload as much i  as i can. Remember to eat and drink! You're all amazing and beautiful humans (or aliens)