oh god im so sorry i havent uploaded in like a month i was pretty busy and unmotivated but im back now! i'll try and upload as much as i can but i can't promise anything because of fucking school. anyway, enjoy!
TW: alcohol, abuse, drunk parents, sh, cursing, blood, slight mentions of eating disorder
Tubbo pov
Just as i was about to get some water, i hear a key in the door. are it my parents? a robber? Jackson? I really hope its my parents, so i know their ok, but at the other side its really late and they might be drunk. As i hear the door being opened, i hide behind the corner. But once i hear my dad's voice, i come out and run towards the door.
Dad! where were yo- i immediatly cut myself off when i realise that they are really drunk.
Tubbo! you stupid piece of shit, if you're not sleeping, then fucking do something! there are still dishes that need to be done, rooms to be cleaned, everything! You're such a lazy useless piece of shit! my dad yells, assuring me that he's drunk. i hate when hes drunk, he's such an asshole then. my stepmom seems to be enjoying it, i can see her smirking behind my dad. He used to barely drink, but after mom died he did it to drink his grief away. and when he met my stepmom, she encouraged him to drink even more everytime.
Well, bad little kids should be punished, shouldn't they? my stepmom says, i fucking hate her. one time she was mad at me when my dad wasn't home, and she cut my teddy bear in two. that doesn't sound much like a big deal, but that teddy was one of the only things i had left from my biological mom. she gave it to me on my birthday when i became three. And my stepmom knew. And the worst part is, i tried to tell my dad, but she told him i was mad at her and i cut it and wanted to blame her. And ofcourse, my dad believed my stepmom, as usual.
Oh believe me, i'll surely punish her. my father said. he grabbed me by my arm, dragged me to the kitchen, and slapped my in the face.
useless child
a punch in my face from my dad
ugly rat
a kick from my stepmom in my stomach
annoying failure
i get smacked into the wall by my dad
fat cow
another punch to my head from my stepmom
lazy pig
suddenly, i feel a glass beer bottle hitting my head, i let out a loud scream and black out, blood running down my face. When i wake up, im still on the floor, in a little pool of my own blood, glass shatters spread around me, on me and even half in me. i try to get up, but my body is still to weak to do that. So for the next 15 minutes, i lay on the ground. I think about everything that happened today. Jackson, my parents... It just became a bit to much on one day to properly process it all.
After 15 minutes, i slowly stand up, and pick out the pieces of glass out of my cheeks and head. i try and get up, leaning against the table. i stand still for a minute, trying not to black out and fall to the ground again. after that, i was my hands so i don't make everything that i lean on dirty. And then, i clean up the mess and the blood that's all over the kitchen.
When im finally done cleaning everything, i go to my room. my parents are probably asleep right now, who knows how long i was passed out on the ground. i got into my pyjamas and tried to sleep, but i couldn't. my thoughts flooded my mind with everything that happened to day, accepting the fact that i probably won't be able to tell anyone everything that happened, ever.
Not being able to sleep, i walk over to the bathroom. i was supposed to just get a glass of water from the bathroom sink sinds its to dangerous to go downstairs right now. But then, i see my razor blade lying on the table. i tried to resist the urge, but fail. I grab the blade, roll up my sleeves, and start cutting.
1 because you're a failure
1 because you're fat
1 because you're ugly
1 because you're annoying
1 because you're useless
1 because you're lazy
it kept going, untill there were about 20 and my whole arm was bleeding, and tears streaming down my face. I clean up the blood, and bandage my arms. after that, i went to bed again, still not being able to sleep. i look over at my alarm clock. its 5 am. after 2 hours, i finally fall asleep, but i'll probably only get about 1 hour of sleep sinds i have to wake up early because i should make breakfast for my parents since they'll be pretty hungover.
i woke up at 8 am, exhausted. i went downstairs, my parents still asleep. So i had time to make breakfast. for my dad i make some eggs with bacon, i know he likes those. for my stepmom, i prepare some yoghurt and strawberries, and a croissant. i quickly grab a knife, make it look a bit dirty, and put it in the sink. like that, i can tell them that i ate already.
finally having some alone time because my parents are asleep, i go to my room, put on my headphones, listen to my favorite songs playlist, and read a warrior cats book.
Tubbo's favorite songs playlist
-somewhere only we know
-hall of fame
-exitlude
-viva la vida
-portrait of a blank slate
-sweater weather
(he has a longer playlist ofc but he likes this one the most for the moments where he's the saddest, and these are also a big part of all my favorite songs lmao)
Half an hour passed, i'm laying in my bed, reading my book while listening to my fav songs on loop. everything was peacefull, untill i heard my doorbell ring....
HIII! i made it! after around a month, i finally made another chapter! i'll try and upload a bit more frequently from now on, but i can't make any promises. anyway, i hope you enjoyed the new chapter!
quick reminder btw that you're a beautiful, amazing and wonderful person. take care of yourself and ill see you next chapter! <33
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FanfictionEverything went fine, but Lya (Tubbo) has a weird feeling with their body. When he figures out that he's trans, he decides to keep it a secret sinds he knew his parents were transphobic. But when he finally tells them, everything goes downhill... AR...
