As The Crow Flies (UPDATED VERSION)

Chapter 7

Chapter Seven: Awake

Jax's Point of View

It had been a few days, Adam had been coming by, he was trying to intercept Lennox finding out about his little girlfriend back at college, but I'd already told Waverly and Waverly was pissed and she went off on Alex because his brother is a piece of shit. Which I found hilarious. I was sitting in a chair beside her bed, Adam was gone, and everyone else was taking a minute even though nobody wanted to leave her side, but she was fine, she was alright, the bleed was almost gone completely, she just had to take it easy.

"So." I started and grabbed ahold of her hand looking at the tattoo on her wrist, it was a smiley face, it was her first tattoo that she'd gotten from Happy. I shook my head. "I'd rather tell you all the shit that I want to tell you when you wake up, but I guess I can tell you this one piece of information that I have to say." I shook my head. I should really wait until she's awake I knew I should. "I fucked up Len." I looked at her, she was unmoving, they finally took the tube out of her mouth yesterday. "I fucked up when I started seeing Sara, the only reason why I done it is because the day that I met her, you and I had just spent the day at our spot, talking about the future, what it'd look like, I didn't even realize how deep we had talked and then after you left, it hit me, we had talked about serious shit, you having your own little girl cave as you called it, me taking over the garage, you even pinpointed the exact room you wanted the kid to have." I chuckled lightly. "It scared the shit outta me because I'd never talked about serious future shit with anyone, not even Wendy and I was fucking married to her. So I fucked up." I said again. "I felt like I was losing control of the situation."
I shook my head and breathed out leaning my head down against her hand. "I'm so fucking sorry."

"You really have terrible timing." I frowned when I heard her voice. I lifted my head looking at her. "Hey Teller." Her brown eyes looked into mine and she smiled tiredly. "Hey darlin." I leaned up pressing my lips to her forehead and she closed her eyes. "And I know, my timing fucking sucks." I said as I pulled away from her, she was awake, she okay. Lennox nodded her head in agreement then she let out a breath.

"Continue on, I was enjoying hearing your speech." She motioned her hand to me.

I shook my head. I should really go get the doctor, call her parents. "I should get the doc." I started getting up but she grabbed my arm. "No, no you started now finish." She ordered. I looked at her ands he gave me a look. I sighed and sat back down in the chair. "You sure you wanna hear the rest of it?" I asked her.

Lennox nodded her head once. "Yep, you're stuck Teller so keep talking." I knew she wasn't gonna let it go. I looked down at my hands. "I fucked up, a lot, and I admit I fucked up, I made a mistake. A fucking huge one, I was ugh." I paused. "I was planning on telling you I fucked up the day you ended up coming to the clubhouse to tell me that Adam asked you out but, the look you had, you wanted to go but you wouldn't if there was still something there, and there was, I pushed it down." I shrugged my shoulders. "I pushed it down because I can't give you all that hearts and flowers bullshit Len. I mean if I tried you'd look at me like I was fucking nuts." Lennox nodded her head a little. "I can't give you that shit Len, so I told you to go. Adam seemed like the guy to give you all that shit, hearts, flowers, white picket fence, then you went on the date and...started bringing him around and I fucking hated it. hated the fact that he was the reason you were so happy, that he got all the parts of you that I had and I fucked it all up." I shook my head and shrugged my shoulders. "You can call me a piece of shit and tell me I'm an asshole for telling you this but you wanted to know." The look she was giving me said it all.

Lennox frowned a little at me. "Why didn't you tell me before?" she asked.

"Because, I didn't want to be the reason that you broke shit off with him, I didn't want to be the reason that you had to make a choice, thought it was better that I just kept my mouth shut, but then." I looked down at my hands then back up at her. "The night you got shot, I called you because, I realized I can't not tell you, I can't not fucking tell you what I'd come to realize and what I came to realize is that....you've been it for me since we were teenagers, can't change it, can't turn it off, I mean I fucking tried that and it didn't work." Lennox clenched her jaw shaking her head.