Switched ✔

t w e n t y s i x

I continued to drive my car around town, having nowhere particular in mind as I keep rethinking about my sudden realisation over and over again.

Do I love Bright?

I was pretty sure I did, but then again...

I've never felt the things that I felt with Mew when I was with Bright.

Sure, I've known Bright way longer than I knew Mew but when I was with Bright, something still felt off and... Uncompleted.

But when I was with Mew... it's like I'm the happiest I've ever been and nothing else matters because it feels like it was only the two of us.

I knew I give my first to Mew instead of to Bright for a reason, but oh God, I'd never realised the reason was this big.

My mind was blank besides those thoughts but I somehow ended up at the park near Bright's house. I pulled out my phone to give Nattarika a call. She surely knew this stuff better than I do. How pathetic, she's younger and instead of her asking me for advice, it was the other way around.

"Nat with double T's here, ssup?"

"Hey..."

"Gulf, you okay?"

"I'm... not really. I need to ask you something,"

"Can't you just come home? I'm in my room,"

"I need to clear my mind but I need your answer,"

"Err... Okay, spill!"

So I did. I told her about what happened ever since this Monday and up to my visit to the Jong's residence. I heard her hum along here and there before she burst out laughing like a maniac.

"Bro, I've told you once but I'll tell you again; You love Mew. You may feel like you love Bright, but with this whole something's off and uncompleted thingy, it seems like you only like Bright, not love him. But you do love Mew even though you've only known him for two months and a couple of weeks. How could you not get that?"

"But I've known Bright longer and better,"

"And?"

"How could I love Mew but not Bright? I barely know him,"

"Are you sure about that? Didn't you ever tell me about that dark secret that Mew always kept but he somehow trust you enough to tell you? Dude, listen to me and listen well; Time doesn't matter, okay? Who gives a fuck if you know Bright way longer than you know Mew? Love doesn't care about time, if it happens, it just happens. And in that short amount of time that you spent with Mew, that feeling just blossomed and grew bigger and bigger. You told me yourself that when you're with Mew you keep feeling things you've never felt before and yet you never had that feeling when you were with Bright. Do you get it now?"

"But is that even possible?"

"Everything is possible when it comes to love, I believe. Let's make it easy, if you have two ropes, one tied to Mew and one to Bright, which one you're gonna pull when they both were about to slip off of a cliff?"

"Um... I think it's uh... Mew, I believe,"

"SEE! Now you got it! It's not that hard, is it?"

"But Nat, he hates me! He ignored my calls and texts and didn't even bother to tell me the reason he took off so, so suddenly." I banged my head on the steering wheel, feeling frustrated with the whole drama.

"Mama did say he has his reason and you did say he was giving you looks so I believe that two were tied."

"I don't want to assume and I hate assuming things but do you... you know, maybe have any idea?"

"Um, no, not really. But I got this feeling that he was doing this for your sake, so just wait I guess. Where are you anyway?" I sighed and threw my gaze out of the window before answering,

"At a park near Bright's house, why?"

"Can you get me the gelato there? I need to help Natharin with something but we'll talk again as soon as you're home"

"Okay, rum and raisin right?"

"You got me. Bye, brother, I'll see you at home." She giggled sweetly before hanging up.

I sighed once again before killing the engine of my car. I opened the door and shut it closed again before locking it and then walked to the gelato shop.

I caught a glimpse of a familiar hoodie, causing my eyebrows to furrow instantly. Is that who I think it is?

I walked a tad bit closer, watching the exact person I thought it would be, giggling and playing around with someone that was supposed to be my boyfriend. I watched them from afar, convincing myself that it was just a friendly hangout.

But luck seems like to hate me (as always) when I saw them leaning closer and casually making out in public eyes.

Yeah, fuck. I'm done here. I'm leaving.

I ran back to my car, giving no fucks about Nattarika's gelato before speeding down the road. The thing is, I don't feel any jealousy. All I felt was betrayal and... Regret I guess?

I felt betrayed because when I was here trying my best to not hurt any of them, they were there, making out like they got no shame and people weren't around. I was here trying to coax myself and ignore the pain while they were there laughing and being all lovey-dovey and clearly giving no fucks about my feeling.

Why the fuck I even put them before me?

I should've known but then again, I didn't think they would betray me like this.

I surely am a dumbass.
I broke Mew's heart when I thought I could save two, but I just ended up getting mine broken as well because those two clearly don't love me as much as I do love them.

Fuck!
What the fuck am I suppose to tell Mew?
I'll just look like an idiot, begging to be taken back, right?

Or...