Kazuscara • Alongside you

Chapter 11 • Disappointment..?

Context:
Kazuha discussing with his father just like in 2.8 event. Pretty much angst ykyk. HES STILL 16 BUT HE AND SCARA ARE GONNA BE ADULTS IN THE NEXT CHAPS <3333
Btw only kazuha pov

Kazuha pov:
After that long amazing day with Kuni, the Kamisatos, Itto and Tomo, I longed to go back home and rest in the comfort of my room. I made my way through the narrow streets of Inazuma city and eventually made it back to the Kaedehara estate. The sun was three quarters down at west, marking dawn, the end of the day and soon, the start of a new.

I pushed the tall sliding door to the side and stepped inside the estate, taking off my shoes and removing some of my layers. Once I had set my clothes aside and put them in the closet, I walked over to the kitchen and started making something quick but nice and nutritious to eat. A good snack is always good after a long, tiresome day.

A few minutes later, a plate laid in front of me, holding some swiftly made onigiri. Knowing my little cousin, Sayu, loved them I made a few extras and left them at her door and knocked. The little girl grabbed her plate and brought it in her room and closing the door after waving tiredly to me. Such a cute girl my little cousin is, I think smiling to myself. Finishing my little visit and went back to my room, dressing into some more comfortable clothes, looser and thinner material, letting my body breath in this warm climate.

Just as I came out of my room, father was there, in the hallway, setting up a rock sculpture. He heard my footsteps and turned around.

"This will do... Ah, Kazuha, you've come ju at at the right moment. What do you think of this rock carving?" Father showed me his sculpture proudly, a small smile on his face as he looked down at me. Father was always quite the happy man, he was able to make almost anyone smile. I smile back and say "It's very intricate." "I based it on a mountain scene I saw in a book" he explained "You know, there are nations in the this world where the mountains reach all the way up into the clouds!" he continued, enthusiasm and passion laced in his voice. "If only I had the chance to see them with my own eyes..." he sighed and looked down to the ground, his smile lightly fainting.

"Father, you can go anywhere whenever you want!" I said trying to comfort him a bit, taking his arm and smiling up at him, trying to make him regain the earlier grin he wore. "That's not true. Though the Kaedehara clan is far from what it used to be, I still bear all the responsibilities as the clan heads before me." He said, his smile not yet recovered as he looked down seriously, placing his hand on his chest near his heart. "But then again... continuing in the way of our forefathers, sacrificing everything for our declining clan... is it really worth it?" He continued, filling his whole in despair and disappointment. The Kaedehara clan was indeed near its end, but never would my father, Kaedehara Kageharu, seem this sad over anything. He was the kindest, most caring man in almost all of Inazuma, never have I seen him drop his smile as he conversed with me now. I was filled with confusion, could my father really just think of leaving our whole work all behind..?

"But I... I don't understand." I said stuttering a bit in confusion and sadness, this depressing atmosphere formed around us, the air became heavy. I could feel soft tears welling up slowly in my eyes but not yet falling. Father grabbed me by the shoulders and hugged me. It wasn't a comforting hug, more of a sad one... "... Kazuha, there's one thing I want you to always remember." He spoke "Family ties are important, but you ought to not let them hold you back." Father said, his voice soon becoming sadder and sadder and the air becoming heavier and heavier. "Family only exists because of the people in it. If we are unhappy, how can we hope to build a joyful one?" He pulled back from the hug and looked down, confusion, sadness, despair, all these emotions, feelings, clouded my mind the more he spoke about family, the decline and end of our clan.

He sighed "The events of the past have had a profound impact on our family, but they are not your burden to carry." He kept on talking, I couldn't understand what he was saying. I didn't want to understand what he was saying. "...If you ever grow tired of this tedious life," tedious..?, I thought as he spoke "just drop everything and go off on a journey, see the world. Remember Kazuha, don't let yourself get tied down in life" he finished, the sorrow clouding my mind soon but to be a thing of the past and I respond with a simple "Yes, father."

A few days later, that long conversation never left one's mind, it dwelled in the back of my head, someone else being there too, accompanying those lonely sorrow thoughts. The only one who could cheer me up just went missing, my Kunikuzushi had just disappeared. He seldom didn't come visit the estate but it had been two weeks and a half since he came by, worry grew over me the more I thought about him and if he was safe...

I got called down by father only to hear him and mother arguing, mother left with a sad face and father even more disappointed. He started blurting out things about the end of our clan and how we needed to leave the estate and sell it, none of these could be processed. I couldn't understand what he was saying... I then subconsciously started screaming at father.

"I'm sorry, but i just don't understand!" I started screaming a bit, tears threatening to well up in my eyes as my voice hitched. "Kazuha, have you forgotten our promise?" He replied in a stern tone, furrowing his eyebrows at the raise of my voice. I couldn't believe this joyful man I used to know as my father, the perseverant one, the believer, the leader of this clan I've known all my life as my home now wants to give everything up..? "You really want to give it all up? But... but even if we're having a rough time, you still have me by your side!" At this point tears were brimming out of my eyes, slowly rolling down my cheeks as I screamed at my father. "Can't i be of any help?" I started tugging on his sleeve. Thinking about it, he never allowed me to help him, when I asked him if he needed my assistance, he's push me to the side and tell me to either go practice my swordsmanship or go watch over Sayu when she was here... he'd never reach out to me when he needed it... "When you were my age, you were already helping grandfather out!" I blurted out, remembering him telling tales of him helping his old man, as he'd say...

"Am i so incompetent... that I'm a disappointment to you..?"

"Kazuha!" He took my shoulders raising his tone as he called out my name, concern laced in his voice. He calmed down and sighed sadly. "Now you're blaming yourself for all this... That's why I failed you as a father..." rivers of tears rolled down my face, damping my scarf as they fell down my chin, no matter how much I wanted to, I just couldn't stop crying... "The Kaedehara clan has been paying the price for our past mistakes ever since your great-grandfather's generation. To this day, we have never fully recovered from it." The amount of times I've heard the speech but never had it been told with as much emotion as it had been told now. "Though we are a family of bladesmiths, you don't have to devote your life to the family craft." He ranted and ranted... "If a wounded animal wants to escape from a trap, it has to sacrifice the hind leg that was caught." (A/N nice metaphor, grandpa kaedehara) "You might think of this as a loss, but staying in the trap has far more deadly consequences." At this point, I was just left speechless, father... what are you saying..?

"Enough now, Kazuha." He finally stopped. "As head of the family, I failed to revitalize our clan. You never blamed me for not giving you the life promises to you by our heritage, and I'm grateful enough for that..." he finally smiled, but not happily, sadness still seemed to cloud father's mind and, truth be told, so was mine. "All these generations of suffering... let's end them today." What. "From now, live your life with no burdens." What did father just say..? "Don't worry," worry? "I'll carry the blame for abandoning our family business." Blame? Abandoning? Please help... I don't understand... my brain is suffocating...

"Father, please don't... You should not be to blame for not upholding our family name." I finally calmed down after all the tears, all the screaming, my mind finally was set at ease and I found rationality and peace. "Even if that day comes, let me share the burden with you." I look up at father only to see tears building in his eyes. "Let's just wait and see. Sooner or later, I will have to lead the Kaedehara clan. When the time comes, I'll deal with all our problems..." that was how it was left off.

I returned back to my room and fell asleep, now only one thought lingering in the back of head: Kunikuzushi...

1654 words

A/N please read if you have time :)
God I am so so so so so so so so so so so sooooooooo SOOOOOO SORRY I DIDNT UPLOAD IN SO LONG.... Forgive me please all my lovely readers :'(
I know I haven't uploaded and as you know, my updates aren't frequent either but when I started writing this chapter, my final exams of the year were coming up and a lot of stress was taken over me so I needed to study like holy hell so I didn't have time to write. Finally after my exams, I was going on vacation so I didn't write then either. I sped ran this chapter in one day pretty much, all the dialogue is from the actual scene in 2.8 kazuha mirage (here's where I got it from:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JCywGuOw1ac&pp=ygUtWW91bmcga2F6dWhhIGNvbnZlcnNhdGlvbiB3aXRoIGhpcyBmYXRoZXIgMi44 )
Again, I am truly sorry if any of you had been inpatient, as it's almost been 2 months since I've update, but I hope this satisfied you and again, I'm am so sorry...