[ Liquid smooth - Mitski ]
Выходные (weekend, saturday + sunday)
Sunday
I woke up on top of Ivan, he was squeezing me in his arms tightly. My eyes were puffy and crusty I couldn't breathe I took the scarf off and he held me closer every time I tried to move. "What's wrong princess?" he said in a sleepy voice. I got up and I wanted to plan my mother's murder with him because I was so sick and tired of her. He got up and hugged my waist from behind. "What's the matter Beautiful?" he whispered softly in my ear, "I feel so depressed.. and miserable, I'm suicidal and I don't want to be here anymore...my mother makes me want to die." A tear fell from his eyes and he faced me towards him and hugged me wrapping his arms around my shoulders holding me tightly to him. I hugged him back and cried in his arms for hours. He just held me there even after I was done crying, he still comforted me.
-Anastasia's diary-
• It was so devastating how abusive my mother was to me causing me nothing but pain and hurt... I was suicidal because of her and had depression. Why couldn't a mother love their own child? But it grew me into a psycho. Mommy issues. Now I know they say, don't blame the mother, but in this case it's exactly the fuckin' mothers fault. I had no love for her. As a child, I did, not now, as she has burned my love for her to pieces. A rose with thorns. The truth is I couldn't fuckin stand that bitch. I never had a childhood, I never experienced a mother's love, I never felt true emotion, only physical pain. I've always been alone, bullied, treated shitty, people call me beautiful and shower me in compliments and guys see me as a sexy pornstar angel but they never see me for me, girls see me as competition, guys see me as a sex doll, my mother sees my abusive father's reflection in my eyes, she is severely mentally ill because he traumatized her but now I am glad he did, as I felt pity for her once, now I feel thankful she was hurt. Now I know you're probably thinking how could you feel this way about your own mother? She created me into who I am today. A broken soul.
"Ivan... your all i have." "I know" "I just don't know if I can love you correctly" I said to him he rolled his eyes and kissed me. "We can be crazy together,"
We planned her murder.
YOU ARE READING
Анастасия
TerrorAn out cast with no friends, 17 year old young woman, diagnosed with depression and anxiety with, living in Moscow Russia, trapped with her sociopathic mother with a murderous, eerie ill past who has made her daughter suffer from both emotional and...
