chapter 1 : flashback.

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by angelicdavid

by angelicdavid

" remember when you stalked him?"

" yeah..."

" wait how did u even find him?"

" my friends school account following, and then it just went on, following his page, liking every post when he post, hoping he would fall in love with me. I still remember it like it was yesterday."

flashback.

I yawned while staring at my phone looking at random school accounts helping my friend his crushes Instagram or any socials at this point. Looking for her name, finding scrolling through school accounts that barley last 2 weeks after posting. Scrolling, scrolling, scrolling until my finger stopped on my phone screen and looking at the profile picture, next to the username, was blueflames22.

his profile picture caught my eye, blue dinosaur filter on his cheeks, black silky hair, losing myself in the moment trying to look for my friends crush. I quickly took a screenshot of his username and went back to scouting. Minutes went by and still thinking about him. It was a obsessive thought, I already just " broke up with my boyfriend " which was my crush from my math class since every guy I liked is somewhat a red flag according to my friends. I mean they were right about him, his breath was bad and really was a try hard. He didn't like me anyways. Molly was trying to match him up with me. That didn't work out at the end. So I just call him my ex.

I totally get off guard and not even helping my friend, ignoring his texts and just looking back at his user. I saw his bio, " Not really active on here and basically post nothing" seeing this made me drop onto my knees and thinking this was all a lie. That I wouldn't be with him. Just because I didn't go to the same school as him. But. My friend did. I texted my friend, jacob, as fast as I can.

jacob ( JAKEY )

did u get anything?

( me )
HEYY... SO THERES THIS GUY THAT GOES TO UR SCHOOL.. DO U KNOW HIM I THINK HES CUTE!!!! 😭😭😭

errr... no.. I'll try to find him tho.

OMG TYSM I REALLY NEED TO FIND HIMMMM!!!

just like that the waiting period was just beginning. Every time I think about him it's like thinking of a fantasy that'll never exist but only exists in your mind. I couldn't stop thinking about him. IT WASNT EVEN FUNNY I WOULDNT STOP.

I look back at his instagram everytime when I get the chance. I lay on my bed. Him and me.

next day.

I woke up feeling exhausted and got up from my alarm that was Ariana Grandes main thing as my ringtone from my 2021 Stan twitter phase. I texted trina to get her lazy ass up so she can FINALLY go to the bus. I rushed to the bus and running and out of breath. I had to tell trina about him. I did. In the groupchat I spammed about him nonstop in our groupchat. It was a hot topic with me and my bffs.

I got into the bus and looking at his Instagram, once again with all I got. Trina finally arrived and sat next to me. I told her everything. We saw his Instagram account together to get more clues. We knew he went to this school. But does he actually? We couldn't check the followings though. His bio caught my eye again. It made me nervous if I didn't get accepted. I couldn't hit request so trina just SNATCHED the phone and hit request. I wanted to yell so BAD in the bus but I realized that there's people near me that are half asleep running on 4 hours of sleep and it was 7:53am, nobody got time to scream in the morning.

I was stressing real bad during the day. Checking my phone during class. I was only thinking about him accepting my follow. Only thing on my mind.

few days later.

It's been awhile since I hit request. I didn't bother to after a day. I was sitting on my chair just looking through my phone. That's when I saw. His username. I checked to see if anything has happened. To my surprise, HE ACCEPTED MY FOLLOW. Until I saw the bio, " hey guys so a lot of people are following me so I'll just post on here." that made me think. Was I the reason why he opened and rebooted his Instagram account. I screamed on my pillow of happiness. That he actually acknowledged me!! I literally cried in that moment.

few days later.

it's been a week since then. He's been active too on his insta. Posting about his vacation in LA.. He noticed and clicked on my story. soooooooo this is literally meant to be. I made a playlist about him ASWELL. I shouldn't get this obsessed about him like I did with my ex. scrolling, new post every so often. double tap like it.

month later.

I forgot about this. I was totally head over heels for him. Literally forgot about him. I really thought I would have a chance with him. I look nowhere near as him, I'm growing a double chin and insecure about my body. Slowy I'm stepping away from him. It's just distancing myself away from him to live my day without like stalking him, someone should really take away my phone...
anyways I'm gonna be like chill and like forget about him. Hopefully this will help and not like make it a bad thing. He's just a online crush. Why should I be so desperate for him to notice me. All he does is see my story. Only one of mine. Not even following me. I should really give up.

after weeks,
I slowly forget about him.
forgetting his existence.
focusing on other things besides him.

until, the summer, june 29th
until he arrived.