Her

Chapter 2: The First Weekend

When I entered I said hi to her mom. They lived in a trailer, which I obviously didn't care, it was just the amount of drugs in the house that concerned me. I had done my fair share before I even entered the house, but it definitely wasn't what I was expecting. Still I stayed hoping the cops never showed up.
We went into her room and she had vines up everywhere and cool crystals on her shelves. She had a bird cage with two birds and a cage with mice. I met her cat and immediately felt comfortable. We sat down on the bed and began talking about shows we liked and discovered that we had very similar interests. She decided that she wanted to go to the store and pick up some stuff to make dinner so we went. I picked out ingredients to make slutty brownies because she told me she'd never had them and I figured it would be something fun to do and it was. When we got back to her house we began cooking spaghetti and dessert, but while everything was finishing up we went to go do my hair.
When we got in the bathroom she had me take my shirt off so we wouldn't get any dye on it and then I sat in a chair in front of the mirror. While she was putting the pink dye in my hair, we kept making eye contact in the mirror and then quickly looking away whilst I was explaining how i'd never done this before.

"I've never dyed my hair before, my moms never been a fan of that stuff, she always liked my natural hair. She hated when I even cut it short." I said. To which she replied,

"That's crazy, I think your hair is beautiful but I think you should be allowed to do whatever you want to it."

I liked that she said that. My mom had always been very strict and being around her made me feel, more free.
When she was finished putting the dye in she went and checked on the food so it could process. I was just thinking to myself about how amazing this was going and how exciting it was, but I also realized I was feeling shameful. I wanted to put my shirt back on because, why did taking it off make my heart start pounding? Why did looking her in the eyes make me blush? But I liked what I was feeling. This was something new and I liked it.
When she came back she told me I needed to wash it out, but that she'd help because I'd never don't it before. I didn't see a tub in the bathroom and then I looked over and she was taking her clothes off. She was taking ALL of her clothes off. In an attempt to make the situation less awkward than it already felt in my head, I just began taking my clothes off too, and then we got in the shower.
I couldn't help myself. Every moment she was looking down at the soap bottle and not in my eyes I admired her body. The water dripping from her hair down her chest, her eyes sparkling more than usual. She was so beautiful, and I saw her looking at me too. She was washing the soap out of my hair and shampooing it but I couldn't help but giggle because of the height difference. I am 5'7" and she is 5'2", but I enjoyed this moment. I felt so close to her.
When she was done washing my hair, she began washing her own and then her body. Now I definitely couldn't help myself. The was slowly running down her body and every second she had her eyes closed I was looking, staring. I cannot help but feel creepy. When she opened her eyes she asked if I was going to finish showering and I said,

"Oh yeah, I just didn't have a wash cloth or anything." and then she said,

"I can just help you with that too." and began washing my body.

She started with my back and by the time she came over my shoulders my heart was pounding. She ran the wash cloth over my chest and I could feel my heartbeat in my face. She was making me nervous and she knew that, but I was not quick to get out. I wanted that moment to last forever.
Eventually, when we got out, I watched her re dress herself and we went to go eat the spaghetti, which was cold by now.
We ate it on her bed while watching American dad, and this is when she pulled out her cigarettes and her alcohol. She asked me if I wanted to drink with her and of course I said yes, So we smoked a cigarette and began drinking. Half way through, we went and got the brownies, which were amazing by the way. She told me she liked them and we kept drinking. We talked to each other about our lives and past relationships and what we were looking for in the future. I thought that her mind was beautiful and it made me even more attracted to her. That's why when she leaned in for a kiss I didn't object.
After the shower, I only had on my underwear and a big t shirt and all she was wearing was what i would describe as a slip dress which made me look sub par, but I just thought she was so beautiful.
She started kissing me slowly while pushing me back until I was fully laying down and then she started kissing me harder and more passionately. This went on for a while and I was worried I might've been bad at it because I'd never kissed anyone like this, but she didn't say anything, I was just following her lead.
Then she began to lift up my shirt, which made me open my eyes so she pulled away and asked me,

"Is this okay?" to which I quickly replied,

"Yes" and pulled her back in.

She had my shirt completely pulled up and was touching my breasts like she had done this a million times before. At some point while she was on top of my she had gotten one of her legs in between mine and began applying pressure. I was so lost in time and the moment I couldn't recall how long wed been doing this but I wasn't planning on stopping. I had this newfound confidence in myself and in this moment. I started to lightly moan which seemed to make her want to go harder. I pushed one of my legs up and grabbed her hips which made her moan too. I was so lost in this moment but then a thought crossed my mind, we had been drinking Bacardi all night. What if she regrets this in the morning? At this time, I felt her begin to start pulling down my underwear but I stopped her. I didn't want to stop but I did. I told her exactly how I felt, that I knew we were drunk and I didn't want her to regret anything in the morning.
She looked at me as if nobodies ever said that to her before but she also completely understood. I sat up and she got up to put in some pants but when she came back she laid her head on my lap and watched the show until she fell asleep. I never fell asleep. I kept my eyes on her and played with her hair until I couldn't hold my eyes open another second, then I moved and laid down next to her, holding her all night long.

The next morning when we woke up, she asked me if I wanted to go to the pet store with her, she said that she wanted to get another mouse. We walked to the store and picked out a cute little brown one and she named it Rose because of my middle name. We hung out and watched tv all day and she had me try some of her favorite snacks, stuff my mom would never buy. That night we drank again, but this time nothing happened, we just talked. She told me that she thought she might be trans and wanted to change her name, but she told me I couldn't tell anybody else. She was looking up names online and I was too. This was an odd moment for me, I've never been friends with someone who's thought about that. What do I say? I said nothing, nothing except Xander. The next day I had to go.

After everything we did this weekend, I couldn't help but feel love for her. She made me feel so special and I felt very connected to her. Everything about her was so attractive to me, I knew I always wanted her by my side, but I couldn't say it, at least not now.
But then I did something stupid. Later this day when my mom was coming to pick me up, I accidentally said,

"Bye, love you." when I was headed out the door.

I'm a complete idiot. I could not have said something more dumb, especially since she had kissed me right before that. I went home and almost had a panic attack about it. Why did I say that, why did I say that, why did I say that?!? This could ruin everything.