"¡callarse la boca! - hazme." pt2

SunKi: One night between before and after

Watching Ni-ki distance himself from Sunoo was truly heartbreaking. Because Sunoo could see all the times Ni-ki wanted so badly to just wrap his arms around him, try and make him laugh, take care of him, and he’s also seen all the times he’s forced himself not to do those things. His hesitation when speaking to Sunoo, touching him, looking at him.

It was heartbreaking because they were so close. So close to something real. Something meaningful to the both of them. Love was hard to find. Especially being who they were and what they did for a living. Being an idol was hard, it was exhausting and it was draining. Finding a real and meaningful connection with someone was nearly impossible. It wasn’t until after their debut that Sunoo could actually feel himself falling in love with his younger member.

It was going so well. Sunoo was even sure Ni-ki returned his feelings at one point. They weren’t afraid of touching each other, Ni-ki was always so good to Sunoo. He took care of him, gave him a shoulder to cry on, made him laugh, made him happy. 

Sunoo could feel their relationship getting deeper. Especially with both of them getting older and wiser. Ni-ki wasn’t this tiny, cute, adorable, innocent kid anymore. He was this wiser, bigger, attractive man. He’d definitely had a growth spurt, now over 6 feet tall. And Sunoo definitely wasn’t the adorable and clumsy boy he was when they met. He was this elegant, dreamy, and sexy guy who could only improve.

Innocent hugs turned to late night cuddling in the dark. Compliments turned to shameless flirting. Innocent touches turned to desperate hands roaming all over each others bodies. It was so beautiful.

And then the allegations started. Ni-ki is a bully. Ni-ki is making Sunoo uncomfortable. Ni-ki is just a bratty teenager.

And Sunoo tried to tell Ni-ki that none of it was true. That those people didn’t know him, that they didn’t understand their relationship with each other. Still, Sunoo could do nothing but watch as Ni-ki pulled away from him. He’d sit on opposite ends of the table during their lives, barely looked at him when he talked, and would hardly react to his jokes.

He stopped inviting Sunoo to his room at night, he stopped making those flirty remarks that would make him blush.

Sunoo wished he didn’t mean it, but he hated those so-called fans. The ones who claimed to protect him from any harm. The ones who claimed they loved him. Sunoo had never hated anyone in his life. He vowed to never hate anyone. But he hated them. He hated them for breaking Ni-ki’s spirit. His beautiful spirit. He hated them for making Ni-ki think that Sunoo was uncomfortable around him.

He’s tried everything he could to get close to Ni-ki again. He tried asking him if they could go live together, but Ni-ki refused. He tried going into his room without an invitation, but the younger just replied that he was too tired.

God, they were so close. So close . Why? Why did the fans have to ruin this for him?

All these thoughts and questions circled in his brain like a toy train. They didn’t let him sleep. It’s gotten a little bit better, but Sunoo could still feel the hesitation whenever Ni-ki was close.

Sunoo sighed heavily. He couldn’t keep doing this. He couldn’t keep pretending like everything was okay when it was most definitely not.