(The Chaesoo Prequel to Make You MINE)
Perfection has a price.
When Roseanne Park moves with her family to start a new chapter of her life in South Korea, it begins like something of dream.
Yet how quickly the dream soon descends to a nightmare whe...
It had been the most awful day in a long time and it kept getting worse. Livid, I stormed away from the campus confused and irritated as I followed the love of my life through the rain who was marching away from me.
"Why were you with her again?!" I yelled, having had numerous meetings that seemed pointless before seeing my girlfriend with Taeyeon once again with her arm around her. They'd been outside alone together in the campus courtyard where she'd been crying but she wouldn't tell me why.
"Because I needed someone to talk to." She sniffled, rubbing her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater as she made the detour walking quickly back to the café through the park opposite.
"And she happened to be the first person you thought of?" I argued back.
"I was just practicing my guitar and she noticed I was upset, that's all!" I finally caught up with her, holding her arm to get her to stop walking away from me.
"What didn't you go to my office and see me? I'm your girlfriend not her!"
She didn't say anything instead looking at the floor as tears fell down her cheek, dropping on the ground below. After a moment of silence, she glanced up at me and it was heartbreaking to see her so sad. "My uncle passed away 2 days ago."
I knew her uncle had been unwell for some time and she was always comforting her cousin on the phone but I hadn't realised how much worse the situation had been.
"I'm sorry. Why didn't you tell me?" I whispered, feeling awful for having not been there for her when she was always there for me.
"Because you were busy." She replied coldly.
"I.. I would have made time." I could hear my voice crack, maybe because I'd always promised her I'd make time for her and I hadn't kept it.
"Would you? I don't even think you would anymore." She glared at me, wiping away her tears.
I bit my lip, thinking back to hardly a hour earlier seeing her being comforted by someone else. "Is that why you went to her instead? To replace me?"
The look on her face was one of pain and anger. "How can you say that? My uncle passed away, my mom and cousin are both devastated and you still make this situation about you!"
"You should have talked to me about it not her!" I tried to hold her hand again but she snatched it away. This was what I had always feared, that I'd fall head over heels for someone special and through my own insecurities I'd ruin things.
"Well she was there to listen to me as a shoulder to cry on and you weren't." There was a deep sense of agitation in her voice, a resentment towards me.
"You're always busy, we hardly ever spend any time together! You don't care about how I feel anymore. Maybe you never did.." Her voice trailed off. I wanted to explain, to tell her how much I cared but whatever I said it never came out the way I wanted it to. I was losing her.
"I'm doing everything for us! This is all... for you."
Friday 5pm
Rosé's P.O.V.
"I'm doing everything for us! This is all... for you." She yelled in frustration, more to herself than me.
All what was for me? Lately, it seemed she always gave me more questions than answers. "What do you mean? How can it be for me when you're so unhappy?"
She stared at me deeply with so many unsaid emotions. As the light rain began to pour, grey clouds were obscuring the sky above.
"I'm happy with you." She whispered.
"I'm not sure you are anymore." It broke my heart to say it, I'd been trying so hard the past several weeks to make things work. Jisoo however just saw red.
"Don't question how I feel!"
"How can I not? You won't tell me what's going on! This.. isn't working."
"What isn't?" She knew the answer, she just didn't want to admit it. If we admitted our relationship wasn't working then we'd have to face reality.
"You and me." I whispered.
"We're not breaking up, Chaeyoung." Jisoo defiantly stated but again it didn't sound like her.
"This isn't you! Every day you're getting further away from the person you were, the person I miss so much! What happened in New Zealand? Why can't you talk to me?" I pleaded for her to tell me what was wrong and explain how she felt but she just shook her head, holding my hands in hers.
"I love you, everything I do is for you."
Though it was breaking my heart, I felt I had no choice. Until she could talk to me about how she felt, I knew our relationship wouldn't last. "You're not happy Jisoo and I don't know how to make it better. I think we need space from each."
"No." Her eyes were watery as she stared at the muddy ground, pools of rain dropping on the floor.
"Jisoo, I'm sorry but-"
"Please don't leave me, I love you." She pleaded.
I cupped her cheek with my palm and gently kissed her lips, just like all those precious moments before happy memories of our time together came flooding back. As I pulled away, I glanced in her beautiful auburn eyes one last time. "And I love you too but things between us.. it's not the same."
"We're not breaking up." She muttered under breath, her hold on my hand getting tighter. I didn't want to argue anymore so I kissed the back of her hand to know she'd always be loved.
"I wish you all the best, Jisoo. You'll always be special to me but I just need some time and I think you do too." And with that I gave a heart-breaking smile and walked away, ignoring her calling me frantically from in the distance.
As the weeks drifted by, I spent much of the summer vacation alone in my room. I would speak to Lisa every day but other than that I isolated myself despite Jisoo constantly calling and showing up randomly at the café.
It was a couple of months later when Lisa told me she'd been granted a scholarship to attend college her with me in Seoul that I knew things would be dramatically different.
I may have been away from Jisoo but I thought of her often. She was out of sight but never out of mind as I stared at the photographs we'd took together, the scrap book I'd made for her that was supposed to be a surprise anniversary gift and the fabric bracelet that I wore every day. I cried as I stared at the small, framed photograph on my desk.
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A few months passed and my parents and I gradually returned to our usual routines following the tragic passing of my uncle. When Lisa messaged me to say she was preparing to board her flight, I knew then it was a new start. The new semester had just begun a few weeks in and I realised it was only a matter of time before I would see Jisoo again.
Wishing for a miracle, I wanted nothing more than for us to turn back time and be happy together like we had been simply a few months earlier. She promised when she left for New Zealand that she'd come back to me but a part of her was still missing and so I waited. I waited day and night for the time when my love would finally to come home to me.
