[A/N: Thank you to Calamity Owl for beta-reading this chapter!]
A couple of hours later found Harry lying on his back on the floor beneath the chesterfield with Hermione nestled comfortably on his chest. The only stitch of clothing on either one was Hermione's bathrobe, which was spread over the two of them like a blanket.
"Aren't you uncomfortable on the floor?" she murmured.
"This is perfect," Harry said. "I never want to move again."
"I'm not sure I can move again," Hermione said.
"I didn't hurt you, did I?" Harry asked.
"Only a bit that first time," Hermione said. "Now I'm just sore. I'm glad I don't have to see anyone tomorrow, because I'm going to be walking funny for a bit." As Harry opened his mouth to apologise, she continued, "And don't you dare apologise! That was amazing."
"OK," Harry said. "So I earned my vote of confidence?"
"More than earned," Hermione said. "Speaking of which..." she leaned up and pulled a piece of blank parchment and a self-inking quill off of the coffee table and scribbled something on it using Harry's chest as a writing desk.
"What's that?" Harry asked.
"A note to my parents," Hermione said. "It says 'I got what I wanted for Christmas. Sincerely, The Swot.'"
Harry laughed. "I love it."
"Not as much as I did," Hermione said, blushing. "Dobby?"
The elf popped up next to the coffee table. "Is Mistress done making little witches and wizards?" he asked.
Harry sputtered, but Hermione just laughed. "For now," she said. "Could you put this through my parents' letterbox and make sure nobody sees you?"
"Of course, Mistress!" Dobby took the parchment and popped away again.
"I have," Harry croaked out, "So. Many. Questions."
"Dobby has been messing with me today," Hermione said, "and I am much too content right now to care. If he wants to say that sort of thing, he can go right ahead."
"Alright, but he called you 'Mistress,'" Harry said. "Why is he doing that?"
She shrugged, a movement which knocked the robe off a bit and exposed a creamy white shoulder. "I have no idea. He's been doing that since he picked me up today. Is that weird?"
"Ginny lived with me for three years and he never called her 'mistress,'" Harry said. "It's definitely weird."
"Oh," Hermione said. "Um...do you mind?"
"Of course not!" Harry said. "There's probably an explanation of some sort that makes perfect sense to him and zero sense to everyone else on the planet."
"Oh, good. I didn't want to get him in trouble."
"If I'm not mad at him after everything he did to me in my Second Year," Harry said, "I'm definitely not mad about that."
Hermione shuddered, making Harry's whole body vibrate. "Don't remind me. You poor boy."
"It's OK," Harry said. "At least he wasn't actually trying to kill me. It just felt like it at the time because I wasn't used to people really trying to kill me yet."
Hermione sighed.
"Reference points?" Harry asked.
She nodded.
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Hermione Granger and the Theft of Magic
Fanfic(AU) Hermione's biggest worries in life are her dissertation and her rent, at least until she drunkenly takes a stick from a green-eyed stranger and breaks what she thought were the laws of physics. Now she's facing a high-stakes, impossible test, b...