Not a Man I should Love

Going Back

"Sorry for what?"

"I... I don't know", Kyle said softly almost laughing to himself.

Asher took the phone from Kyle as they walked back inside and sat at the dining room table. Kyle wanted to break the silence since it felt like the air could cut his lungs any second.

"May I know what what's going on between you too?" Kyle said just poking at his food.

"About what? Me and my father...." Asher asked back a bit perplexed.

"The kiss. No one kisses their father like that. I'm sure I shall tongue too." Kyle smiled to himself but it only seemed to trigger Asher to be somewhat upset.

"There's nothing going on between us. Can a man not love someone who takes care of him like family and not in some complex relationship?

Kyle stayed quiet as he thought about Asher's remark and didn't say more. He just didn't talk to Asher for most of the night. They went to Asher's room and before he could pull out the extra bed for Kyle, he just laid next to the bed taking the cover and pillow off Asher's bed.

"Kyle.... why are you on the floor?"

"...."

"Kyle, your going to have to talk to me..."

"Don't feel like it", Kyle spat back hiding further under the thick covers.

"Fine, then you leave me no choice but to join you."

"What-"

Asher left no room for conversation and joined Kyle o the floor laying next to Kyle with an extra cover and pillow.

"What are you doing?" Kyle asked about to get up.

"I could ask you the same." Asher said back in a sarcastic manner.

"I just don't feel like bothering you anymore."

"Uhuh. is this about the situation between me and my father?"

"Sort of... just change the topic, it's not like I'm mad about it just didn't want to make you a enemy." Kyle stated sitting up.

Asher just smiled and chuckled a bit before nodded and reached for his phone. He show Kyle a random picture of a small child on his phone making Kyle even more confused about Asher.

"What's this for", Kyle asked grabbing the phone slowly.

"That child is my younger sibling. She had died the day after I was taken in by the man who watches me now."

"Why are you telling me this Asher", Kyle looked back up only meeting a smile on Asher's face.

"Just, she was the only person in my life besides my mother who I wasn't able to protect, because I was too young to understand. When my little sister was born by those people, I didn't know-"

"That's not your fault though. I'm an only child so I wouldn't understand what you're going through fully. But I know it's not your fault". Kyle stated before turning off the phone.

"Kyle it's just-"

"I was told I had other siblings before but they never helped me so I put myself first now. I try to protect myself."

"By running away from home", Asher retorted laughing a bit at Kyle's statement.

"You know what I mean", Kyle stuck out his tongue standing up and walking to the large window.

"I just wished that now it wasn't that I wasn't some sex crazed teen who wants pleasure."

"I don't see it that way Kyle. Your just lost right now without a structure."

"A what?" Kyle turned faced Asher who sat on the edge of the bed.

"A backbone. Not the snarky remarks you make about people, but the way you can change your composure to living without fear."

Asher didn't say word after that and just watched Kyle look from him to the window that over looked the city. Kyle doesn't know where he is but he felt a piece of himself at ease. That he could look up to Asher as someone truly who wants no part of his past but for his better self in the present and future.

"We should get some sleep", Kyle said back smiling a bit laying on the bed.

"Now you want to sleep on the bed?" Asher laughed and Kyle only responded by kicking his leg making Asher yelp in pain, which only followed up by laughter.

next morning****

"You ready for this", Asher asked as they waited outside the building for Kyle's 'father' to show up.

"Not in the slightest, but I'm curious. He said he's going to change but I have a hard time believing that."

Kyle laughed to himself as Asher pulled him into a hug tightly.

"I'll always be here for you, whether that be as your older sibling or a best friend you want to yell at", Asher whispered.

"Thank you, Asher", Kyle responded hugging back but not for a long time.

"Kyle....".

A man's voice came behind Kyle as he flinched a bit and turned to see his 'dad'.

"I take it that your Mr. Parker", Asher exclaimed in a low manner.

"Yes, thank you for taking care of my son."

Asher only nodded and patted Kyle's head before walking back inside. Kyle smiled until he couldn't see Asher anymore.

"Kyle... I'm really sorry."

Kyle didn't say a word or make eye contact with the man who only hugged him gently surprising Kyle.

"F-father-"

"You don't have to speak now. I won't do anything else unless you want me to. All I ask is for your forgiveness".

Kyle just buried his head in his dad's arms smelling the dark pinewood soap that seeped into his body.

The man put Kyle in his car and they drove home. About 2 hours in the car and Kyle slept for most of it. The man only spoke to his coworkers who tried to get him to work on his day off.

They walked into the front doors and Kyle looked over to the fireplace that still was messed up making Kyle feel uneasy.

"I-Im going to... to go to my room", Kyle mumbled but the man still heard him and grabbed him quickly.

Kyle started to freak out trying to push the man away who only hugged him harder.

"She's gone. I promise you she won't hurt you anymore". The man spoke gentle and firm which seemed to calm the teen down.

He raised the teen's chin and kissed his lips slowly. Kyle pulled away for a second before going back and kissing him more.

The man broke the kiss staring at Kyle.

"We won't do anything if you're really not comfortable with me right now", he asked.

"Right now...dad all I want is you. I don't want you to leave me alone ever again.