❝ told you so ❞ ;; bbangnyu

↳ ❝ seven ¡! ❞

younghoon's pov

"she's pressing charges." his fingers traced the marks on his neck.

"i'm so sorry," i whispered. "you didn't deserve that."

"there's no need to be," he laughed a little. "it was all me."

i didn't answer that.

"let's lighten the mood." he rose up from his bed. "i'll be right back."

i watched as he slowly exited his bedroom, entering a mental crisis once he left.

i found myself constantly grappling with confusion whenever i was around her. he was the person who occupied my thoughts day and night, but the feelings i had for him were a jumbled mess. one moment, his laughter makes my heart soar, and i'm convinced there's something special between us. yet, the next moment, doubt creeps in, clouding my judgment. does he even feel the same way? are these fleeting moments just a figment of my imagination? i analysed every interaction, searching for hidden meanings, but it only leaves me more perplexed. i wished i could decipher the enigma of my emotions and find the courage to confront my confusing crush.

but didn't you just confess to him a day ago? it was messy, i didn't really have time to address my feelings and it all came out in an emotional blur, in the time that i had, all of my words just jumbled up together which probably made him more confused than me.

i didn't realise i was biting my nails until chanhee re-emerged from wherever he went.

"quit biting your nails, younghoon." he set a bottle of something and two glasses on his beside table.

chanhee says that when i'm somehow distressed, i usually bite my nails or pick at my fingers, which is one of the only times he's right about something.

"what's that?" i asked.

"oh, this?" he turned to the bottle and glasses that he set down. "it's liquor."

woah, woah, woah. slow down.

"huh?" i was taken aback. "why— how do you have that?"

"i stole it from my dad's cabinet."

"put it back," i reached for the bottle. "i'm not getting drunk, let alone with you."

"please, i just wanna," his voice wavered. "you know, forget about things..."

i thought about it. what happens if he becomes physically reliant on alcohol? that's only one of the worst case scenarios.

"chanhee i'm not repeating myself—"

"younghoon, please," he pleaded. "if you don't want to, let me."

i just wanted him to be happy and refusing would probably do the opposite.

"okay," i sighed in defeat. "this is the first time your behaviour surprises me, you know."

he poured the liquid into the one of the glasses he had and carefully placed the bottle on the table. taking a sip out of the glass, he shut his eyes closed as he swallowed the heavily alcoholic drink down his throat, coughing a bit in discomfort.

"wow, that's strong."

"just this one glass, okay?"

he hummed and took another sip.

after an hour of talking, he'd already downed three glasses, even though i deliberately tried to stop him.

"chanhee, that's enough." i snatched the half finished glass from him and placed it beside my legs.

"younghoon, let me finish it." he whined, leaning over my legs to try and retrieve it again.

"stop." i pushed him off.

he pouted and crossed his arms. obviously that wasn't chanhee's usual self, he wasn't that whiny and his feelings throughout that hangout fluctuated between giddiness and sensitiveness.

"uh, so, what do you wanna—"

i suddenly felt a heavy pressure against my shoulder, it was, of course, chanhee.

"let's cuddle."

what's with this sudden change of mood? again?

"chanhee, let's not, sit up."

"nooooo." his breath brushed against my neck.

he clung onto me for dear life as there was a beat of silence, the clock ticking in the background suddenly became faint when i connected with my inner thoughts.

why does he have to look so cute now? right, younghoon, don't be immature, he's drunk, you don't want anything to happen.

"hoonie!" he poked my cheek.

hoonie? he's never called me that before.

"yes?" i replied.

"you look sooo handomse right now," he slurred. "the way your skin glows in the daylight... it's strangely compelling."

"oh, okay." i didn't know how to respond, i felt my cheeks heat up by his compliments.

"you're blushing!" he giggled and proceeded to kiss my cheek.

i jerked in his touch but he only pulled me closer, draping his arms over my shoulders.

"you're so cute, bbang bbang." he sighed in satisfaction.

i couldn't take it anymore.

(this part was very uncomfortable to write and it may feel uncomfortable to read it as well 😭).

in that moment of courage or vulnerability, i finally mustered the strength to lean in and kiss him. the culmination of countless stolen glances, secret smiles, and aching longing was over. as our lips met, time seemed to stand still, and the world around us faded away. in that tender embrace, i felt a clear connection, a shared intimacy that transcended words. it was a kiss filled with a mix of tenderness, desire, and the intoxicating thrill of the feeling of ecstasy.

i found myself pinning him to the bed and continuing down his neck, pressing small kisses on his skin. i could hear his heavy panting as i created small, red hickeys under his chin and down onto his collarbone.

suddenly, sense kicked into me as i pushed myself off of him and got off of the bed.

"oh shit," i stood there, looking at the pink haired boy who was out of breath, wearing a confused look. "you're drunk chanhee, we can't—"

"younghoonie, please," he sat up. "please."

"no, this is wrong chanhee," i started pacing around his bedroom.

"hyung, please," he pleaded again. "we both want this."

it was shocking how i even considered it for a second. i knew it was important to prioritise consent and that it wasn't right to initiate anything with someone who wasn't thinking straight. but whatever tone that was seeping from his voice, i couldn't decipher it yet it compelled me to want something more, like a siren luring in its prey. i stopped pacing, coming to a final conclusion.

"like i said, this isn't right," it feels right though. "you're going through a situation, this is gonna make it worse."

i saw him wince when he realised who i was hinting to.

"that doesn't matter," he stumbled off of the bed. "i want to do this."

his footing wasn't quite right as he struggled to stop in front of me. he wrapped his arms around my neck again, pulling me closer to try and convince me to stay.

"we can't." i wish we could.

i pulled away from him, setting out of the door and heading down the stairs to the piles of shoes near the door. i quickly slipped my converses on and tied the laces before pulling my hood over my head in attempt to cover my clearly disheveled appearance.

before slipping into the night and feeling deja vu once again, i took a glance at the open bedroom door, chanhee was stood outside this time, maybe to convince me to turn back. but i had finally made up my mind.

i decided to leave.