❝ told you so ❞ ;; bbangnyu

₊❏❜ ⋮three ⌒

younghoon's pov

here we were again, this time, it was in my bedroom. the sounds of chanhee crying pained my aching heart even more, just thinking about the possibilities of what juyeon did to him made me sick.

you see, before chanhee called me, i was hanging out at eric's place, along with hyunjae and hyunjun, but i quickly had to cut the hangout short, due to his call. i think that goes to show that i would've done anything just to see chanhee smile again, even if that meant driving to juyeon's house at midnight and taking a puffy eyed chanhee back into my house without waking up my parents.

"shhhh," i hushed him, pulling his figure closer to me. "it's alright."

he let out one last sniffle before i spoke again, confidence overtaking my mind.

"didn't i say 'i told you so'?" i reminded him, smirking to myself about how knowledgeable i was.

"you don't know anything about him." his voice reeked of assurance yet uncertainty.

i gaped at him in disbelief, after everything, why is he still defending him?

"what do you mean i don't know anything?" i changed my tone. "what is there more to know? he's hurt you too many times."

"but, i think he deserves another chance," he replies. "maybe something made him a bit annoyed today."

"that still doesn't give him the right to take all of his anger out on you, mind you, he raped you."

"i think that's just how he solves his anger, taking it out on people," chanhee brushed his bangs out of the way of his face. "besides, i think he still loves me, he probably felt a little under the weather."

"plus, who was i to stop him?"

i was shocked that i've been sitting down and listening to chanhee's regretful and downhearted rants for one year. and not one time has he ever listened to me, i was done with watching him dig himself deeper and deeper into a hole of sorrow. i guess you could say that i let my 'narcissistic' side get ahold of the situation.

i paused, thinking of what to say next. i remembered what hyunjae and eric said, telling him about my feelings, i was incredibly scared of doing that, afraid that he'd reject me or even worse, breaking off our friendship. i didn't want to ruin anything for him or get him confused between his feelings, i knew that he needed to work things out, especially after this whole juyeon thing which went on for way too long.

"chanhee..." i slowed down my words, making sure that i kept calm. "you have the right to say no to him, don't you?"

chanhee looked at me with his solemn face, wiping off any excess tears.

"it's as if you completely forget what i've been saying every time," i prepared myself for whatever i was gonna say next. "and it's been really frustrating, really, because of how naïve you've been, chasing after juyeon even if you knew deep down that he wasn't a very good person. i told you that all of this would come around one day, and that you'd most likely regret it."

"you didn't listen to me, which was even more frustrating. don't you understand that i've been here this whole time and that you've just been blatantly ignoring me!" i felt a sort of irritated feeling engulf me at that moment. "i'm the one who has to comfort you almost everyday, i'm the one who has to pick up all of the pieces he's broken off of you, and then you proceed to be all lovey-dovey with him the next day!"

"it's been one fucking year," i scolded. "don't you realise how many days i could've spent studying and doing other things, but instead, i decided to help you!"

i heard a small cry coming from chanhee, before the younger started raising his voice.

"how could you be so selfish?" he asked. "why're you making everything about you!"

it was true. i was making everything about myself, even if the original conversation had been about chanhee and his relationship. but it was my defense mechanism, mentioning my sacrifices so that i didn't have to discuss my struggles.

"why would you say that when you've been wasting my time when you know damn well that you'd just ignore everything the next day!" i yelled. "i cant fucking believe you chanhee, i thought you were smarter than this!"

"why can't you get anything into your thick skull!"

he looked like he was going to burst into tears again. great, younghoon, way to confess your feelings to him.

"and don't forget i've been helping you without asking for a thank you or for anything in return!"

"at least i'm smart enough to realise how narcissistic you are!" he clapped back. "get a hold of yourself, younghoon, you're not better than everyone else!"

"i don't think i'm better than everyone else, for the record," i stood up. "can't you see that i've been trying to help you look at your surroundings here!?"

"but because you're too focused on a false image of who juyeon is or used to be, you don't realise how much i love you!" i shouted. "but i always seem to forget that i don't exist to you unless you want something."

"i'm absolutely done helping and trying, it's just you on your own now."

i widened my eyes at the sudden sentence i had just blurted out. i watched chanhee's reaction also turn into one of shock, but i didn't give him time to reply as i quickly bolted for the door, not caring about the noise i was making anymore. i took one last glance at my open bedroom door.

your stupid, younghoon, why'd you confess in the middle of an argument? fucking hell, could this night get any worse now? should i have even yelled at him?

i walked towards the ajar door, passing through the gap and slamming it shut, not caring if i woke up the whole neighbourhood. i raced down the stairs and got my shoes on, unlocking the door using the keys in my jacket pocket and slipping into the night with no idea of where i was going.