Beautiful in Jada

12: Nightmare

No matter how many bathroom towels you lay on the floor, it's not a bed. It seemed like a good idea to lock myself in the bathroom, but I wasn't really able to sleep. I had no idea what time it was, but it was late, and the moon was out. I could at least see the stars through the window. Bathrooms are generally not the place you would imagine when you thought of sleep.

I should have picked the closet, but I wasn't sure if there was an actual lock, and I paniced. I couldn't believe what I had done, what he had done to me. I was surprised he pushed so far. I was flabbergasted. I just laid there while he, you know? I think what was the worst part is that I enjoyed it. His tongue was so perfectly skilled, I wondered where he learned it. His body felt in sync with mine. There wasn't much I needed to say, which was baffling. It was one thing, kissing my neck. That spot is senstive, but seeing me nude from the bottom down, I was shocked. I STILL didn't have any panties on. He could have gone further. He could have pushed more. It wouldn't be a push. I didn't need to be forced, I would have probably had sex with him, considering how turned on I was. But, this situation was not my own. That I could view my forced husband in this way, I felt so much shame. What should be natural, normal, and simple ended up wracking my brain with guilt. I was absolutely conflicted. One part of me wanted to run away. Another part wanted to find out what else he could do. It's not like he would be much of a faithful spouse. Why was I feeling this way. How do I process this whole thing?

I was awfully tired but found sleeping impossible. I pressed my ear to the door quietly. It was dead silent in the room. I couldn't hear anything, hoped he was at least sleeping, but I prefer him not in the room. I slowly twisted the lock until it clicked. I stayed silent, keeping my body pressed to the door. No movement. I grabbed the door handle and began to pull the knob. I was slow and steady with this. If Alessio was in the room, I didn't want to wake him. I had turned the handle and slowly tried to open the door but it creeked and I froze. With no movement following, I swung the door open quickly, keeping the knob in my hand. It was still pitch black in the room. I tip toed into the bedroom. The cold, soft bed was all my sleepy head could think of. I quickly made it to the right side of the bed. I slid under the blanket. I melted into the feel as it enveloped my body. My heavy eyes closed.

**

I stared at my phone, wondering why I had not heard from my boyfriend all day. Marcus wasn't someone to ignore me. Yet today he decided was the day to just never talk to me. I was angry and upset. I know we didn't have the best time last night, but this was beyond weird. It had me so anxious about where we stood. Maybe I should call him one more time, the like millionth time. I felt like such annoyance with many calls I made, Today was his day off, so finding him at his job was a no-go. None his friends have seen him either. They all treated me coy. I felt like they were lying to me. The unknown racked my brain. I darted down when I felt my phone vibrate, and my phone managed to fumble out of my hands. When I looked down, my phone was gone. I looked back up and saw Marcus before me.

"Oh my god, babe! Where have you been?!" I asked him frantically.  I tried to hug him, but he pushed me down. I landed on my butt feeling so confused by his denial.

"I don't want you, I don't love you. And no one ever will, " he spat at me. His words stung like no other. The breath left my lungs as his words stayed with me. Why was he being so mean. He's supposed to love me! What was he even talking about?

"What?! What are you talking about. it was just a little fight," I said, trying to make me way to him. He kept backing up with every step I took her, and he took 2 steps back. I struggled to get up and tried to grab his hand, contastly trying to approach him, but nothing worked. The distance between us kept growing.

"Marcus, just tell me what I did wrong," I begged. My call to him didn't do anything as he turned away and disappeared before my eyes. I searched for him, but he was nowhere to he found, the street was empty. It was dark outside and awfully quiet. I felt so exposed, and the wind gave me chills. I couldn't figure out why he was acting like this.