Skinny (on hold)

...

Tw: Eating disorder, Self harm
☆1 month later☆
Genya POV:
I just got back from my midnight Taco Bell run. I decided to get Muichiro a steak chalupa. He didn't ask for one, but I thought it might be a kind gesture. I got back home, honestly surprised he is still awake. "Hey Mui! Why are you staying up so late? You are usually in bed by 5:30" "I'm failing all my classes" he said with a sigh. "Well it's important to keep you mind energized" I stated while giving him the taco. "O-oh, it's okay I already ate, I'm not that hungry" he said. At that moment I knew that was bs, because I was with him all day and he ate virtually nothing. Should I ask him about it? I still haven't seen him eat any food since Tanjiro, and a strawberry He ate. I continued to think to myself as I walked into the bathroom. I was startled to see Muichiro in there. "Ah! Sorry!" I said, before taking a glimpse at his body. He was all... skin and bones. I closed the door and waited for him to come out.

Muichiro POV:
"Shit, Shit, Shit!" I muttered to myself. "I already almost gave myself away when denying the Taco Bell he got me, but now? But now he saw my arms! My ribs! My whole upper body!" I thought to myself as I started to panic. I then walked outside to see Genya sitting on my bed waiting for me. "Come here" he said in a light, but stern tone. "I should really get to sleep" I told him, trying to change the subject. "No Mui this comes first"
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Genya: So I wanted to talk about something...
Muichiro: Y-Yeah?
Genya: You barely eat Mui. Do you have allergies , dietary restrictions, or anything like that? I'm getting worried!
Muichiro: ...
Genya: Okay.. how about this... when was the last time you had eaten?
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I looked down, unknowing of what I should say. How am I supposed to tell him my problems, if I don't even know myself. Why? Why me? Why do I have to do this? Why do I have to do this alone? What is wrong with me? This is all my fault. I deserve to be alone. I deserve nothing. "So?" Genya asked. "I-I'm sorry, what was the question a-again?" "When was the last time you ate?" My eyes widened. "What are you talking about? I ate while you were at Taco Bell" I said laughing hastily. "Don't lie Tokito." He said. He never called me Tokito before... I thought to myself as my heart sunk. "I ate food, I don't know what you want me to say." I said, as I continued lying. "MUICHIRO STOP LYING GODDAMNIT!" He screamed at me, slamming his hands on the table. Tears started to fill my eyes. "Th-Thursday" I muttered quietly. "What did you say? Say it louder" "Thursday! Thursday morning!" I said loud enough before I started to sob. "Thursday Morning?! It is Sunday now! Come here" he said, grabbing my hand. "No" was the only word I could stutter out.. "No I am not eating." "Mui..."he said as he hugged me, while stroking my hair. I wanted to fight it off. I wanted to scream at him. But.. it felt good. I haven't been in an embrace like this since... since my family died. I just continued to hysterically crying into his shoulder. After a bit he got up and brought me to the fridge. "Come eat this Taco" He said, gesturing towards the Chalupa. "I-I am sorry, I really can't" "Come on please! You don't have to finish it! Just half?" He asked. "Fine." I bluntly said, as I struggled to eat it.
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It was the middle of the night, and I was gagging. I rushed to the bathroom before I threw up, then let all the the food I ate earlier come up. I got up and looked for some cleaning supplies. While I was looking, my eye caught something...
A razor.
Suddenly Al other memories and thoughts a
from last night night came flooding in, and hit me like a ton of bricks....
We am I so pathetic? Why can't I eat? Why do I struggle with such easy things? Why don't I have many friends? Why does Genya care? Why am I still here? Why am I still alive? Why am I so skinny?

I clenched my eyes shut, as the painful memories continue to infest my brain. Soon enough, once I opened my once shut eyes, I saw my arm...
It was completely covered in blood. There were about six cuts. I have never self harmed before, nor planned too, but it felt.... Good. I continued to cut myself over and over again. I was scared of myself. I have never let this side of me  to come  to the light. But it felt so good that I finally had some sort of control over my life. After about 17 cuts I finally stopped. It was quite a lot. After that I was just sobbing to myself. As I came back to my senses... "oh shit" I thought. "It's all over my arms and thighs, what am I supposed to do during gym class?! Sure I got the jacket, but my thighs? I guess I'll just wear longer shorts then. I hated myself for doing this, but what else could I do? I eventually cleaned up my wounds, and headed back to bed. At this point, it was about 4:00 am, and Genya was already fast asleep. Once again, I got that weird feeling...
I wanted to....
Hug him?
This is weird. He's a boy. I'm a boy. That is weird. That is not accepted. I went to bed, ultimately deciding I will not be attending school tomorrow morning. Strep throat has been going around recently, so I can just blame it on that I guess. I fell asleep immediately, as I ventured into a dreamless slumber.

Holy shit this was an emotional ride. Well thanks for reading!! Have a good day/night! Be sure to stay hydrated!

Word count: 1039