childhood crush

PART NINE - leaving you again

its the next morning and im finally home and not at the kaulitz. i text tom.

hey handsome! feeling any better? :)

it takes a second for him to respond. hes usually still sleeping. i miss him already. my mom barges into my room. she looks shes about to cry. "mom whats going on?" i say concerned. "your brother is in the hospital!" she says hyperventilating. my brother still lives in america. "were going to the hospital and staying in america till he gets better i dont care what you say!" when it comes to children mom didnt like me. i stand up. "mom i cant leave Germany again! its just starting to get good!" i yell. "dont raise your voice at me young lady! pack ur shit were going in 2 hours!" i sob dramatically. would this mean me and tom would break up. who knows how long it would take for him to heal, i dont even know whats wrong! i quickly 'pack my shit' and leave. i hate saying my goodbyes. this would be the second time. i knock on my second homes door. bill answers in the middle of pancakes. "madi?" he says as he noticed i was in tears. "no. dont tell me" he says as he literally drops the pancake mix on the ground.

"im sorry" i say as my face floods in tears. bill immediately pulls me into a hug. the other guys hear me sobbing and get up immediately. "madi? whats going on?" they say. "im going back to america, i dont know how long tho." i say. "your lying" gustav says. "you just got here a couple weeks ago!" georg says. "shit madi, what are you going to tell tom" bill says. "i dont know, i dont want to breakup" i say crying even more. tom comes down from all the noise. "can yall shut the fuck up?" he says as he rubs his eyes as hes walking down the stairs. as soon as he sees me and runs towards me and push bill out the way. "whats going on?" he says. everyone else stays quiet. he looks down at me. "madi whats going on?" thats the first time in awhile he has said madi. "im going back to america, i dont know how long" i say. tom starts tearing up but refuses to cry. he starts comforting me on the couch. everyone else leaves the room for me and tom to talk. "what are going to do?" i say sobbing still. "tom i really dont want to breakup i love you so much and i love our relationship" i say crying into his chest. he rubs my back. "i dont want to end it either i love you even more beautiful, but i dont think we could do long distance" he says. i pull away from him. "were breaking up?" i say as i put my hand to my face "im sorry i just" i cut him off with leaving. i mean what should i expected. ofc he dosent want to long distance i knew that. i knew that why didnt i prepare myself. but i just can't believe were done. me and toms relationship is over. i run home. my mom makes eye contact with me.

"stop being dramatic madi" she says and rolls her eyes. "dramatic? i just went through a break up! i lost the love of my life mom!" i yell at her. her eyes widen. "who was ur boyfriend? huh? you never told me that?" she says. "i never told yall because i know how yall would react!" i say. "who was it madi" she asks. "tell me!" she yells. "fine if you want to know so goddamn bad! i lost my boyfriend! and my bestfriend! not bill but tom!" her eyes turn back to her book. "go away" she says. i storm upstairs to my empty room.

a few minutes later im still sobbing. i didnt want to lose him. i dont think i would ever get over him. we finally arrive to the plane. this time i dont get window seat. crying to myself i put in my music. i go to my photos and scroll through the photos of me and tom. ofc i was sad to leave bill and the others but tom was too over special to me. i go onto instagram. the stalker added another photo. its a photo of me leaving tom on the couch. i check the comments. to be honest no one reallt knew we were dating publicly. the comments were crazy. 'did tom and madi break up?' 'whats going on?' then i see toms comment. 'sorry to break it to you but me and madi did date but we ended it today cause shes moving, stop posting on this.' the comment said. what he said was true. but the thing that got on my nerves was 'we ended it today' he ended it? hes the one who didnt want to do long distance. i decided to comment back to it. 'you ended it.' i turn off my phone. im still sad but im overwhelmed with anger. is he gonna tell everyone that?

we got off the plane immediately see that he broke a couple bones. ouch. we heard the doctor say that itd going to take 4 months for all of it to heal properly.

899 words sorry!!