Maybe This Time

11

I opened the front door to Willow standing outside my house. She smiled shyly at me, and I tilted my head in confusion. "Willow? What are you doing here?" I asked her, and she cleared her throat, her hands entwined in front of her.

"Are your parents home?" She asked, and my heart sank. Part of me hoped that she was here to see me, but I guess not. "I haven't had the chance to say hi to them yet, so I thought..." She looked up at me with big, round eyes, and I had to look away to contain myself. My laptop was tucked under my armpit and I slowly brought it down into my hand as I nodded my head at Willow.

"Yeah, they're in the kitchen." I rub my nose, stepping out of the way as she sends me a small smile and walks in, looking around. It's been a while since Willow's been to my house, and my parents haven't had the time to redecorate, so the walls are mostly bare and we still have the same old carpets.

I followed her in the kitchen, where my parents stood opposite each other. They both got extremely quiet when I walked in, so they were obviously having a very heated conversation. I furrow my eyebrows. Mum clears her throat, straightening her crossed arms as she smiles at Willow.

"Willow!" She exclaims, opening her arms and bringing her in for a hug. "It's been so long since I've seen you, darling! How've you been?" Mum asked her, and as they both conversed with each other, I decided to excuse myself into the living room, sitting down on the couch and opening my laptop.

I had an assignment due in a week, and I had almost finished it, but there were finishing touches that needed to be done before I could submit it for the highest possible grade.

Willow's conversation with my parents goes on for fifteen minutes before I feel her presence behind me. I look at the entrance to the living room, and there she is, leaning against the doorframe. "Hi." She smiles, tilting her head to the side. "What are you doing?"

"Our assignment for further maths." I tell her, and she grimaces.

"I'm struggling with that so much." She groans, rubbing her pinkie finger over her cheek. "Do you... wanna help?" She asked cautiously, standing a little straighter. "Your mum is asking me to stay over for dinner, so..."

I stare at her. She's staying for dinner. Like old times. I nod slowly, a hesitant smile on my face. "Yeah, I'll help you. If you want." I tell her, and she grins before walking further into the room and sitting right next to me.

Her thigh presses against mine, and I freeze, shivers slithering up my spine. I rub my nose once more. Willow leaned in to look at my laptop screen, but my fingers were frozen over the keyboard. I feel her eyes on my temple, and I lick my lips before shuffling a little and continuing with my assignment.

I explain it to Willow as I type, and she nods her head in understanding. My voice quivered with nerves and my hands shook slightly as I moved them. It's crazy the effect that Willow has on me. Even her close proximity makes me feel all jittery and nervous.

Is this what having a crush feels like? Having hopeless feelings for someone I know I can never be with? I tried not to like her, but instead, I fell even harder. I need to get over her. Even though I never had her, I need to get over her. It isn't good for me. It isn't good for either of us. It isn't healthy. I could ruin fifteen years of friendship with my stupid feelings, and I could ruin whatever weird awkward friendship we have right now. I can't do that.

I have time to force my heart to let go of her. I have time to spend some time away from her and keep to myself and get over her. That's easy.

After an hour of assignment with Willow, my mum calls us both into the kitchen to eat. Willow walks in front of me as we both saunter into the kitchen. My mum had concocted a whole meal for Willow, and we sat opposite each other on the dining table as mum placed plates filled to the brim of steak, vegetables, gravy, and chips.

"This looks great, Mrs. Gallo." Willow grins up at my mum, who's elbow was resting on my shoulder. She tuts as Willow refers to her surname.

"Willow, you always call me Caterina." She huffs, a pout on her face. "You know you don't have to call me all formally." She ruffles my hair, and I groan before picking my fork and knife and cutting into the snake. Willow laughs from opposite me.

"You're always embarrassed of your mum, aren't you?" Mum asked, gripping my chin and planting a kiss onto my cheek. A blush creeps up my neck. I turn away from her, grimacing. "Te amo, Ennis." She kisses the top of my head before sitting next to me.

Willow grins at me before eating a chip. I smile slightly at her, shaking my head as I eat. During the whole dinner, dad was extremely quiet, and the tension could be cut with a knife. Not only between me and Willow, but the weird, unknown tension between my parents. Mum couldn't even look at him, and dad spent most of his time stealing glances at her.

Something is going on between them. Something they haven't told me about, and it's bugging me for some reason. I'm going to get to the bottom of this. I know we left Liverpool because of whatever happened between them, so I need to figure it out before it's too late.

***

Willow left straight after dinner and I went up to my room a few hours ago. I went to close my curtains, but my gaze landed on her figure standing in the middle of her room. Her blinds were closed, but the silhouette of her body was visible. I lick my bottom lip, my fingers wrapping around the string that closes my blinds.

I should just pull it, I tell myself. But, no. Instead, my eyes stay on Willow as she grips the bottom of her shirt and lifts it over her head. My breath hitches.

Although I can't actually see her, the outline of her body gives me butterflies. Then, I watch as she shimmies out of the skirt she was wearing. At this point, I was borderline stalking her. I should close my blinds. I really should.

But instead, I watch as she runs her fingers through her hair and I gulp in skittishness, my jaw clenching. I know I shouldn't want this. I shouldn't want more from Willow, but it's so damn hard to resist such a beautiful woman. It's driving me crazy. It's truly making me question how I have suppressed these emotions for years. How I didn't notice them.

Willow turns her head to the side, and I take it as my sign to close my blinds. It took all of my effort to pull the string and close my blinds, turning around. I rub my hands over my face and huff, shaking my head and throwing myself onto my bed, silently screaming into the pillow.