Therapy {ON HOLD}

Thoughts and confessions

When I begin thinking, it's like my mind goes on an endless roller coaster of thoughts. I begin thinking of the past, the present, and the future.

My knees were hugged closely to my chest, and tears silently rolled down my cheeks.

I thought, maybe I should start speaking again. For Calum and mines sake. I wanted to try so bad, but then a little voice in my mind told me I can't. If she couldn't speak, then I can't either. Even though I can. That voice also told me it was all my fault. That I could of done something, but I didn't.

I've gone to every therapy session I've had so far, and it is not helping in any way. The most it's gotten out of me, is me smiling more frequently. They're not full on grins, just like a tiny smile.

You probably think I'm crazy or I'm just over reacting and it's all just getting to my head, but I can't control it. If I could, I would.

I felt kinda bad for having Calum wait so very long to find out everything, and how he actually stayed, trying to figure me out means so much. But I don't show it much. I haven't been so grateful in such a long time.

It's been 2 weeks since I've seen him and he still hasn't figured out. Not even close, but it is really difficult to guess. I had already written the letter I will be giving him, explaining everything. I'm considering telling him already. The clues I've given him just aren't helping.

Me: come over
I put my phone down and waited for his reply; which almost instantly came.
C: really?!
I smiled slightly at his answer.
Me: yeah
•••

"I give up!" Calum walked in yelling. I flinched at first but gave him a hand gesture telling him to quiet down. He said a quick sorry.

"So why did you tell me to come over?" He sat on my desk chair like he always does as I sat down criss cross on my bed.

My hand crept under my pillow and I pulled out the envelope containing the letter inside.

He furrowed his eyebrows and got up walking over and taking it, sitting on my bed.

His eyebrows stayed furrowed while opening the envelope and unfolding the letter. He looked up at me and I gestured for him to go on.

Calum's POV

I was shocked, because I knew what this letter was. She was finally telling me and I was finally going to know what happened. I was shockingly not ready. As much as I wanted to know, I was no where near ready. I took a deep breathe and began reading.

Um so I don't really know where to start, since I've never done this and it's kinda of a difficult thing to confess, but I think you deserve to know. So a few months ago, about 5 and a half; my mom was murdered. I saw every single bit of it, even though at the moment I thought it was all a dream. I was in my room just being an actual normal teenager when I heard glass breaking downstairs. I ran downstairs and I saw my moms hair in a mans grip. She was trying to get away but he only pulled her down to the floor. He had two weapons, a knife and a gun. The knife was in his hand.
I couldn't do anything because I was suddenly frozen. I was in complete shock by what was happening right in front of me. I was silently sobbing and the guy noticed me when a small cry came out of me. He made his way to me and that's when I snapped out of it, and yelled. I told my mom to run and leave me but she didn't. She tried fighting the man but that only lead to him abusing me horribly. I still have scares that remind me of it all. But anyways, he tied me down onto a chair and made me watch him cut every part of her. I heard her yell out in pure pain when my eyes were shut, praying it was all just some terrible nightmare. He stabbed and cut her so aggressively, like he was mad at her. When I opened my eyes it was all silent, but my mother was surrounded by her own pool of blood and no movement was made. I thought the guy was gone and I yelled and cried until I couldn't anymore. He was about to hurt me more as well and he told me he was gonna take me away but sirens were heard and he made a run for it. I have no clue whether they have caught him or if he's still alive, either way I hope he rots in hell.

I finished reading the last the letter and I was left speechless. I looked up at her and her eyes were super watery. The tears were threatening to fall out.

I stood up and hugged her. I hugged her with so much passion and strength. I stood her up with me and I didn't want to let her go. I petted her head a little and I was beginning to get emotional myself. She silently sobbed into my chest and it hurt. Reading all of that and just feeling her cry on me. But I also felt happy because she trusted me enough to tell me that. I couldn't have asked for more.

"Danielle. " I whispered, my voice cracking.

She stayed silent but her sobs and sniffles calmed a bit so I took that as a sign to go on.

"I like you. A lot."

The end.

NO IM JUST KIDDING LOL.
I can guarantee you, I cried so bad writing this. I hope you liked it and cried with me ): I feel so bad for Danielle. So I'm liking how this book is heading but the start is just like no.
Idk
Hope you enjoyed loves youuu ❤️