epiphany, james potter

17. james pov

tw: james lover boy era 😔🤮

I had never felt the desire to kiss Lyla Black before, but I still did.

It's like there was a magnetic pull forcing me to kiss her. Everything seemed to stop when I did.

I don't know why I ran away after we kissed, it's not like I regretted it. I just didn't know what to say.

To start off, Lyla hates me. Secondly I never imagined myself falling for a Black. Sirius would kill me.

All that went through my head anytime I see Lyla is that I had made the mistake of kissing her.

Except I didn't know if it was a mistake. Did she think it was a mistake?

I didn't want to talk to her about it, I might end up saying something I'd regret. I wanted Lyla do actually like me, not just share a kiss with me.

She probably regrets it I think to myself, she won't forgive me for what i've done to her.

I feel my lips curl into a grimace as my head would not stop constructing these deplorable thoughts.

I snap out of my trance when a hand waves in front of me, "James! Come on we're gonna be late."

I follow Sirius to class, silently cringing every time I remember kissing his sister.

We arrive fairly early, most people already being in there. I make direct eye contact with Lyla, and we both look away red faced.

It wasn't that I was embarrassed about kissing her, I just didn't know if she regretted it or not. And what was I even supposed to say to her?

Sorry for randomly kissing you Lyla? Back to friends?

I sit quietly through Binns lesson, something unusually abnormal for me.

Remus was whispering something to me but I couldn't focus on him. I was staring directly at Lyla, I didn't care if it was creepy.

She glanced towards me and made a curious face in my direction.

When I noticed that she saw me I quickly turned away, trying to focus.

After class was done I hopped out of my chair before anyone else, making a bee line for the door.

A warm hand grabs my lower arm before I could, I turn around startled.

It was Lyla of course, she was looking at me cautiously, almost as if I'd shake her hand off right there.

"James, can we talk?" Lyla peers up at me tentatively.

I furrow my brows, "About?"

It was a dick move, I'll admit it. But I didn't know what to say, It was rather embarrassing to talk about.

She slapped my arm with a dumbfounded expression, "Don't be an ass. You know what."

I debate my options for a minute, "Fine, meet me in the greenhouse after classes."

She nods and walks past me stealthy, sparing me not so much as a glance.

The day dragged by, and all I could think of was, what is Lyla gonna say to me?

I somewhat accumulated what she was gonna say to me. I figured she was gonna tell me it was a mistake, and that we could never ever do it again.

So when the time came that I was rushing to meet her, my stomach churned with unfinished thoughts. My palms were sweaty, I didn't know what to say to her.

I opened the door to the greenhouse to find Lyla waiting patiently, she glanced up when she heard me enter.

"James." She greets nonchalantly, she seems to be grabbing her hands anxiously, something that didn't go unnoticed by me.

"Lyla." I greet in the same tone she had, "Let's talk."

In all honesty I didn't want to talk, I just wanted to forget it had ever happened.

"Um," Lyla starts but closes her mouth, "I don't really know what to say."

A tinge of pink traced on her cheeks, showing me she was just as embarrassed as I was.

"Mistake?" I offer up with a hesitant smile.

Her eyes open at my words, and then a scowl appears on her features.

"I wouldn't call kissing me a mistake." She defends, "If anything it was a mistake to kiss you!"

I feel a bit offended at her words, and a scowl of my own remains on my face.

"Oh please! Everyone wants to kiss me." I defend back, "You should be glad I kissed you!"

She scoffs loudly, "You have an ego the size of the sun don't you!"

I roll my eyes, "Whatever Lyla, we can both agree, it shouldn't have happened."

She seems to want to argue more but manages to restrain herself with a simple nod.

"Yeah James let's just forget about it." She begins to walk away and I begin to open my mouth but I close it again.

I wanted to say something, what did I want to say?

She hesitantly turns around and upon seeing the look on my face begins walking slowly back towards me.

I couldn't control my feelings any longer, I walk quicker towards her and don't stop until I'm touching her arm.

"James," I cut her off by smashing my lips onto her soft ones.

I hear a small noise of surprise, but I can't focus on that. All I can focus on is the feeling of her soft lips against mine.

She glides into the kiss, inching closer to me, and I let out a sound of approval when she does.

She pulls back regretfully, "James," She puts a hand on my chest, "Maybe we shouldn't."

I groan at her words, "Everything about this is telling me we should." I argue.

She seems to debate her internal thoughts for a minute, before standing on her tip toes to kiss me again, "Fine, but this is a one time thing."

I sure hope that this isn't just a one time thing.

I don't think i'll be able to leave Lyla alone, not until she's mine.