The dark side of the moon

Chapter two

Hi guys! Thanks for reading! Yeah I know the beginning can be boring .. I’m sorry, I’m just trying to give you a feeling of how this fanfic is. So these first chapters will maybe be a little boring but I hope you survive haha. Can I maybe ask for two votes for a new chapter? (:

-         Kami

 

One week later

Harry

The paper I’m looking at has got small wet spots on it after my tears. I hate doing this but I have to. I have no choice. No one knows about this diary I’m writing. And no one will ever get to know either. Not even Louis. Even though he is my best mate he doesn’t deserve to know about all the thoughts going on inside of my head. What I’m thinking about, what I’m planning to do and what I’ve already done. Only this diary knows it. Sometimes I just need to get things out and this is one of those times.

My handwriting is shaky when I’m writing the first word.

 

Dear Diary

I don’t get it. How you can’t be embarrassed knowing that I, a boy, writes a diary. It’s quite embarrassing to be honest. I’m glad no one knows. Well, no I’m trying to talk it away again. I’m good at that and you know that too well. I can just begin saying I’m going to tell you something deadly seriously and then I’m just ending up talking rubbish. Like always. It’s one easy reason for that. It’s because I’m rubbish. Yeah, I said it. Rubbish. Harry Styles are rubbish. Why? Did you ask why? Well, I’m .. I don’t know. I just don’t feel like I once did. I was always that kid who loved to hang out with friends, coming home late, try new things and explore the world. Now, I just lock myself in and sit here whenever I can just thinking. Thinking about nothing and everything. I’m beginning to feel tired of thinking. Tired of trying to smile, be happy and be nice with people. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not appreciating it. I love it, of course! But sometimes the fans can just be too much for me to handle. I’ve no longer got a private life. The other day I actually found the picture from the photo shoot. People had edited it so Lou and I were kissing. And they had made this heart around our heads. “Truly in love” they had written all over it. And it was spread ALL over twitter. Seriously, ALL over twitter. People are getting all this too wrong. I mean, yeah, I love Lou, but not in that way. We’re just brothers. Nothing more. But some people just don’t seem to understand that. And they hating for no reason. It’s just all wrong. That’s just one of the reasons why I’m tired. The boys have been very supportive, but I need to tell about one episode where I was about to break. It wasn’t me they told it to, but Lou. Maybe I’m just being protective. Maybe that’s why people think we genuinely are in a relationship. Well, what happened was that the boys and I went out shopping or something on a day off. We met some fans and they began talking with us, but they just seemed to ignore Louis. I went over to him just to make him attend the conversation. We chatted and he tried to act like nothing was wrong but it clearly seemed like something was wrong. I tried not to think about it, but his eyes told me that he was hiding something. When we got home he and I went to his room alone and he told me everything. That he and Eleanor had broken up. El had cheated on him. He started shaking and I tried to calm him down and take care of him but he hasn’t been the same happy Lou since that. And right after all of our fans found out but they blame it all on Louis. Said he had cheated on El because of me. Always it’s me who’s involved. I’m getting sick. Sometimes I just want to smack the ones in their faces and tell them we’re not more than best friends (okay fine, I’ll admit it, I had a crush on him earlier, but .. it’s over now. I sort of gave up when he met Eleanor) I’m not mad at Eleanor or yeah I am, but at the same time I’m not. I know Lou will be sad for a long long time now but he will become better and stronger. I know he will. I think I just worry too much.

Another example was also when Zayn and I hang out outside the studio the other day. He was grabbing a smoke, needed to calm down or something and I joined him. Some paparazzi’s caught us and the angle he took the photo in made it look like I was smoking too. Guess what, the picture was all over twitter .. And once more my timeline filled up with questions and threats about death and so on if I smoked. Someone told me they broke up with me (even though I’ve never heard of them my whole life), others told me to quit right off or else they would come to my house and beat the sh*t out of me. I know I know, I shouldn’t think of the hate, but what would you’ve done? If you got loads and loads of hate every single day? People are telling you you’re not good enough, you’re just famous for your look, you can’t sing because you missed one note at the concert last night, you’re a cheater, you’re naughty to your fans. Uhm .. I’m sorry I’m just trying to do my best. And it’s getting hard when the hate just seems to get more and more. I’ve done a lot of physical things to try calming myself down, but it’s not really working. I don’t know what to do. Maybe I should just run away, dig a whole and hide in it? I wish the fame had an on and off button. It would’ve been nice walking the streets without people stalking you all the time. And when you really need it, like I do now. I want to go back to 2009. Yeah, did I tell you that are one of the reasons why we wrote Rock me? Or, that’s my reason, I like to think .. at least. Okay I’ll shut up, my hand hurts after writing this much and this hard. I’ll come back later.

Harry

 

Valerie

Arianna was throwing clothes in my arms. “Oh God, Aria, I can’t carry more now!” I protest when she comes with another dress. “Come on love, just this one and we’ll go over to the changing rooms, okay?” she asks and even before I reply she gently lays the dress into my arms and drags me over to the changing rooms.

“That looks so nice on you!” Emily happily says when I get out showing them. I smile a little and look at myself in the mirror. “Yeah, well .. I don’t know,” I say, looking thoughtfully at the dress. It is tight by my breasts and it gets wider and wider until it stops right under my knees. It is in a very soft fabric and the bright peach color fits my skin tone perfectly. “You should definitely buy that one,” Aria says behind me. “Uhm, can’t we just go somewhere first? Let’s get something to eat first I’m starving. Then we can go back, maybe I can try it on again and if I haven’t change my opinion I’ll buy it?” I suggest and they both nod. “Thanks guys you’re the best!” I smile big and walk in the changing room and pull my own clothes back on.

We head over to Starbucks who’s almost a ten minutes’ walk away from where we are now. On our way we talk about everything. Literally everything. We always do that. We talk about boys, makeup, how ugly the outfit random people around us were and so on. I haven’t laughed so hard since I went to college. “Oh look!” Emily suddenly says and points at a shop I haven’t seen before. “Oh my gosh, look at that dress! It’s perfect for the ball, Em!” Aria says and they fangirl together. I chuckle and just keep on walking. That’s until I bump into a post or something. “Oh sorry,” I hear a deep, husky voice say. I don’t manage to get an “It’s okay” out of my mouth before I’m lying on the feeling like an idiot. “Let me help you,” the voice repeats and suddenly I feel warm fingers touch mine and he locks his hands with mine before helping me up on my feet. “Uhm it’s okay .. I’m so clumsy anyway,” I managed to say and perfectly as it was my voice cracks at the end. I choke and try to say it again, but freeze when I understand who’s standing in front of me. “Uhm, yeah .. I better .. better go,” I mumble and tries to walk over to Em and Aria but he still got a hold on my hand. “I just want to know your name or less you want to be called clumsy,” he says, his face is deeply serious. I blink and nod before telling him my name’s “Valerie.” He nods and let go of my hand. I just stand there looking at him for some seconds and then I ask the silliest question ever. “Uhm, you’re Harry from One Direction aren’t you?”