I Am Not Yours

Escapade

April 1897

"I can't sleep." The shaky sound of a whisper broke through the continuous rattling of a train's wheels crashing over every track on the railroad. The squealing of its iron legs had made it difficult for Abigail Stanton to sleep along with the uneasy bumping of the train car she and her family had settled into on their journey West.

"What?" Abigail said with an exhausted tone, unable to hear exactly what the whisper had said the first time it spoke.

"I can't sleep." The owner of the voice repeated before the small boy crawled into Abigail's blanket with her, cuddling up to his mother to try and fall asleep more easily.

"Oh, Peter." Abigail said as she kissed the top of her son's head, holding him close to her chest. "It won't be much longer." She promised him with the knowledge that her toddler was growing restless on this long escapade away from their old home. "Just close your eyes and focus on the wind." She tried to console her son back to sleep though she felt a bit hypocritical considering she herself could not sleep on the noisy train either. A part of her prayed that their new home would be worth such a tiring trip though she already knew that she would feel homesick the moment they'd arrive.

Abigail already missed her brothers and their friends, the sounds of her parents' voices replaying in her mind that marrying Noah Stanton so quickly and following him out West to a new home was not a very well-planned idea. She knew they were right, but frankly, did not care. She wanted her family to start fresh and new. To meet new people and to learn how to create a home of their own. She couldn't wait to make new friends and to watch Peter, her four year old, grow into a strong, independent man who wouldn't be afraid of doing the same. She wanted him, and any of her future children, to feel brave enough to take chances into creating a better world for her future grandchildren and many more to come.

Abigail had watched her mother act like some helpless woman who only did what the men around her told her to do for far too long. She even noticed how Vivian, her mother, would do everything her own sons demanded of her once they'd reach a certain age and that made Abigail ashamed to be her only daughter. She would tell her mother how ridiculous it seemed for a mother to do everything her own children had told her but her mother insisted that the men were superior and from then on, Abigail made an internal promise to herself that she would never allow herself to turn out like that. She was strong and smart too and could successfully make her own decisions. And she would. For the rest of her life. She was even stronger and smarter than most of her brothers, proven to them every time they would do chores and she would endure their teasing when they would make her carry extra bags of hay on the farm as a joke. With about five or six bags, she would successfully finish the chores even at the same pace as her brothers while they'd carry two. She wanted to teach Peter that so when he grew older, he would respect his wife and daughters the way Abigail wished she had been.

When she met Noah Stanton, she had only intended on being his friend, seeing as she easily made friends with boys. Girls only cared about who had the prettiest hair or the better dresses or who baked the best bread, (of course, it was Abigail). While the girls around her gossiped and cried over which boy was most handsome, Abigail tried to start intellectual conversations about work or how she could make working on the farm at home more efficient with strategies or schedules. The other girls were uninterested and ignored Abigail's interests in fishing and catching frogs or hunting ducks and deer for food...which she and her brothers did most often when their father was yet again, sick in the lungs from working in the mines.

Abigail met Noah when she was just shy of turning 18. She remembered the dumbfounded look on his face when he realized that the dainty girl his new neighbors had brought along for goose hunting had shot down six geese while all the boys around him barely caught one. He knew, in that moment, that he wanted her to be his. He wanted to show her off to everyone. And it wasn't until after her brothers had called her over from behind her hunting tree that he saw how absolutely beautiful she was. They walked on the trail in the woods far behind her brothers talking of hobbies and sports as Noah fell for her over and over again.

They were almost back into town near their homes when Noah asked her to be his wife. At first, she had laughed, believing that he was just teasing her the way her brothers and their friends always had, but she noticed the seriousness in his face and her own face grew red. She, of course, told him "No," and that they had just met. But only one week had passed after his proposal and Abigail Adler became Abigail Stanton.

When Noah and Abigail spent the next year after their marriage attempting to find land to build their own farm on.....with no money....she soon fell pregnant with their first son, Peter. And their dreams of buying a ranch only dimmed as Peter became their first priority.

Weeks after Peter had turned the age of four, Noah received a letter from an old friend of his who claimed that there was lots of land for sale...cheap land...in the far West and that he and Abigail should join him out there.

Only a few days had passed while Noah and Abigail made their decision and they were soon on the road, heading toward their new dream.

Though Abigail never realized how loud, bumpy, or cold it would be attempting to reach that dream.

She soon could tell that Peter was finally asleep in her arms and she was able to close her eyes again while she felt Noah's arm wrap around her from behind and she lightly smiled to herself, already feeling more comfortable at his touch and with their son against her chest and she was, then, able to drift off to sleep.