I Am Not Yours

Prohibited

August 1916

After the couple had gone a few more rounds, they had moved over to the sofa, Henry pulling his under trousers back on before Abigail sat in his lap with his gray suit jacket on. It was large on her but made her feel safe and warm as she laid her back against his chest and he wrapped his arms around her. They both watched the flames in the fire together while Abigail's head rested against Henry's shoulder behind her.

"Doesn't this feel nice?" She softly asked him after a long wave of comfortable silence. Her hands held his on her stomach to keep them there.

"Mhm." He answered her, holding her as if he would lose her if he let go.

"Imagine this every night for the rest of our lives. Don't you want that?" She gently slid her fingers across the back of his hands as he held her. Her bare legs laying across his lap grew goosebumps as the cold air fought the warmth that the fire brought to her.

"'Course I do." He told her. "Especially after the day I had at work."

"What happened?"

He softly sighed. "Nothing. Just having problems with the ledger. I've got three more shipments of oil to deliver by next week, but I am a bit low on business cash right now to pay the train fee."

"Have you asked Lucas for any help?" She wondered.

"No. No. I will handle it myself. He has enough on his plate with the saloon right now."

"He is your partner, Henry. If you need help with the business you both own, then you should at least be able to ask him." She began to slowly slide her hand up and down his bare arm.

"I will think about it." He told her, only half-lying.

"You should stop wiring me money to help with my mom." Abigail added. "It is only adding to your stress. And Carson says that stress is what made you sick in the first place."

"I've already told you, Abigail. I am not sick." Henry told her kindly.

"Well, you are not perfectly healthy either." She lifted her head off his shoulder to turn it and look at him. "Henry....please. You need to promise me that you will try your best to take care of yourself when I leave again." She placed her left hand on his right cheek to gently force him to turn his head and look at her. "It is very important to me that you do." She gave him a gentle kiss on the lips before sliding her hand down from his cheek and to rest on his bare chest. After breaking the kiss, she looked into his eyes and couldn't help but smile at the butterflies moving around in her stomach and she let out a soft giggle as they tickled her. "I don't think I have felt this happy in a really, really long time." She rested her forehead against his.

"I really make you feel like that?" He asked her for confirmation, surprised that he would be able to make anybody feel happy, let alone, Abigail Stanton.

"Yes. You do, Henry." She pulled her head away to look into his eyes again. "Is that really so hard to believe?"

"Will you be angry with me if I say yes?" He wondered.

"No. Because I want you to be honest." She told him truthfully, gently caressing his chest. "How are YOU feeling right now?" She asked him.

"Afraid." He answered her.

"Of what?"

"Hurting you. Disappointing you. Disappointing your family. People in town talking about you behind your back because of who I am."

"Let me tell you something, Henry Gowen." She softly smiled at him. "People already talk about the both of us behind our backs. Why not be happy while they do?" She took his chin in her hand. "We can't protect each other from the world. But we CAN try our best to be there for each other when times are hard. And Henry, right now times are a little hard for you at work. So to be there for you, I am asking...no, demanding...that until you are able to start again, please stop sending me your money. Okay? Daddy and I will manage for the time being."