Lore Inaccurate SMG34!

Chapter 3: Bored

SMG3's POV:

I lay there on SMG4's uncomfortable couch, wondering what I should do with the day. I can't really go outside.

The thing is, I'm not threatened by Mario. He's just a silly little guy, he wouldn't hurt an atom if it somehow punched him around the face.

Instead, he'd probably get SMG4 to do it. He liked 4 doing everything for him, and I know the poor guy is annoyed by it but he's never let anyone know that- or at least me.

Why? Because he loves Mario and wouldn't want to hurt his feelings, platonically obviously. Don't take that the wrong way.

But maybe I'm not the only one who's noticed...

Anyway, I know 4 wouldn't go so far as to kill me- neither would anyone else. Maybe Mario would hire a private killer or something...

The door knocked again, for the second time this morning. SMG4 was out, so I answered it myself.

Surprise, surprise, it was Mario.

"Just so you know, Mario's hired a private killer!"
"YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME?"
I screamed in surprise, now how did I predict that?

"Mhmm, so you best beware."
I looked Mario dead in the eyes, as an idea struck into my brain like lightning.

"Oh yeah? If this guy is even real, then why don't you show me him...!" I smirked.

"Well... Uh..."
I could see the worry on Mario's face, as my grin only grew wider.

"He's not here yet, but he's big and strong, and has lots of muscles and he's very cool and tough so... BEWARE!" he said, hiding his face like a child.

"Mhmm, when he's here, let me see this guy."
"HE IS REAL! MARIO WILL PROVE IT!! Later...!"

I shut the door in Mario's face.

Obviously, he was bluffing to threaten me. My actual question is- why? He can't be that annoyed with me to go great lengths and pretend to hire personal hitmen.

Before I went to lay back down and wallow in my own self-pity, I looked out the window and saw Mario giving the same useless threat to 4, his face all red and him jumping all over the place.

In a way, Mario reminds me of Papyrus from Undertale, what a great game... I should show 4. Or not, he might be mad at me still.

SMG4's POV:

"Alright Mario, I get it. You don't want to see 3 around. The author has made a shitty plot and they have to roll with it the whole story, Christ..."
"YEAH, AND TAKE THAT AS A WARNING!"
he burst out, still very red in the face and jumping around the place.

In a way, Mario reminds me of Papyrus from Undertale, what a great game... I should show 3. Or not, he might be mad at me still.

"Mario, why do you want SMG3 away from you so badly? There has to be more of a reason than you guys getting arrested," I pointed out.
"I know you have a perfect record and all, but come on man, you weren't put there forever. We're going on this Wild West trip soon anyway, so you guys have gotta make up soon!"

Mario just looked at the ground, his expression had changed from mad to confronted. He looked at the ground and said "I won't make up with him... hmph..."

I picked up my shopping bags, walked towards the camper, that Mario literally gave me himself, and saw 3 staring at me through the window.

Instead of being creeped out, I knew he'd saw this whole thing and just gave him a look that
showed I was pretty much clueless.

Turning back to Mario, I said "Look, I don't really care if you have a hitman. 3 will stay with me, you don't have to go all these lengths."

"GOOD! And keep him away from me!"

I walked away, ready to unload the stressful day I've had anyway and wondered what SMG3 had been up to. Is he still angry about our little argument earlier? Surely not, if he managed to stare at me...

I got a very weird feeling from that. I hadn't felt it much, and I couldn't put my finger on where I'd felt it before. It made me happy for some reason. I don't like that.

I kept all this to myself, and walked into my living space, to see my room mate laid on the couch, looking depressed as per usual.

"Boring day?" I asked
"You wouldn't believe..."