A Collection Of My Short Stories

The Crazy B**** Who Tried to Kill Me

My sister, neighbor, and I had this moment a few days ago where we did this drama improv thing and created a whole story. Afterwards we realized how GOLD it was and since I'm a writer I turned whatever happened into a super dramatic romance story thing.

Declaimer that this is very exaggerated to look like an actual story and these are characters, not actually us (the ones who came up with this story) my sister is very young therefore we got inspiration from her funny actions and made a character who represented something more mature since me and my neighbor are much older.

Enjoy this cringefest of a story we have spent hours laughing at.
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I breathed in the scent of jasmine and lavender flowers swaying in the summer breeze on the windowsill of the restaurant. Light green grape vines were intertwined between the wood planks of the white pergola. I pushed a vine out of my face as I walked past it. Inside the restaurant was cool, air conditioning hitting my face instantly. It was approaching closing time, and customers were already heading out. I wasn’t looking to eat though.

Upon discovering I had received numerous angered texts from my girlfriend Antonia and around twenty missed calls, I packed my gym stuff, took a quick shower at the gym and rushed over to her restaurant “Everant” where they serve everything at any time. Through the window on the door leading to the back, I could already see her pacing angrily. She sat down for a moment on a bar stool before huffing and getting up on her feet again once she saw me enter.

“There you are, son of a bitch. Where were you, huh?” Antonia was already riled up. What on earth happened?

Another girl was seated across from her, my cousin Isabella. She twirled her long curly hair as she looked between us.

I sighed and opened my mouth but my girlfriend's words beat me to it. “The gym?” she asked.

“Yes, the gym, you know I work out in the afternoon. Now what’s wrong.”

Antonia shoved a finger in Isabella's direction, spinning her head to look at her. Her blonde hair almost smacked me.

“She claims you had a girl over last night. A gym instructor to be exact. Is this true, Zen? Are you cheating on me?” With each passing second the room became more and more uncomfortable. Antonia has a history of overreacting to situations and losing her temper quickly. It’s impossible to communicate once her anger reaches a certain level. To have a decent conversation, I turn to comfort her first.

I lead her to a chair, to which she swats my hand away with a look of disgust. “Be honest or so help me God…”

I lower my hands and look around, uneasy. She wasn’t wrong but…

“No.” I state. Glancing at Isabella I say, “why would you lie? You didn’t see anything.”

Isabella inhaled slowly, filing her nails with a pink nail file. “We do live together. I know what I saw, I’m not schizophrenic.”

What a bitch. She promised to keep her mouth shut about my relations in return for being allowed to live with me. She’s so kicked out for this.

I noticed parts of Antonia’s face turn red, and tears welling up at the corners of her eyes. Still, she was persistent for a confession. “Not only that,” she continued, “my grandpa died, you knew he was sick, you promised to be there for me. And now you missed the funeral.”

A moment of silence passed. Guilt choked me, wrapped around my trachea like a snake. I did promise that.

Despite my gut feeling, the reflex to cover for my ass took over. “My phone was in the shop. I cracked it real bad a week ago.”