Just Kiss Me - Tom and Bill Kaulitz

No more tears

That night Bill and I did nothing. After what happened with Tom I didn't feel like it, and when I told Vic and Maddie about it their eyes and mouths dropped.

"This kind of things can only happen to you," Vic told me. Actually she was right. "Be careful though. If journalists find out about your relationship with the Kaulitz twins, they'll compete for the front page" and Maddie was right about that too. For a second I thought about it. That night in the disco, Bill and I had kissed in front of everyone. It seemed that no one had noticed, because there were so many people kissing, but being a nightclub for VIPs, some journalists could be incognito. However, it had been a busy day: between concerts, photo shoots and city tours, I never found time to sleep. So Maddie went back to her hotel, (I still didn't know why she always stayed in a different hotel than ours) and Vic got into bed as I did after her.

I looked at the clock: it was four in the morning. Why did I always wake up at unthinkable times? Couldn't I wake up at eight every morning like normal people? I was starving and thirsty so I got out of bed and went into the living room to check if there was anything left in the mini fridge. Obviously nothing because the four ravenous wolves I lived with had stomachs that never got full. I didn't know what to do, I was literally about to die. So, I left the room, took the elevator and went to the hotel kitchen secretly. I knew It couldn't be done, but leaving the hotel at that hour would have been even more dangerous. I saw shelves and opened them one by one. I found some chocolate cereal, so I quickly grabbed it, grabbed a cup, filled it with milk, and started gobbling. I heard noises coming from the other room of the kitchen and stopped immediately. Tom joined me with a cup of tea in his hand and his usual smirk. I always had him in my way just when I least wanted him.

I continued to eat like a pig not caring about his useless presence."What are you doing here at this hour?"
"I'm starving." He laughed. "And you?"
"I couldn't sleep." I huffed. "What's new, were you late last night too?" I said as I sat down on the countertop with my mug in my hand. He approached me.

"Yeah, I just got back from clubbing and I've fucked at least five girls." I looked at him terribly. After what had happened days before where did he find the courage to tell me those things?

"You would like me to tell you this right? No, I came back here at nine after buying some caps." Ugly moron. I got up from the shelf and started to leave. "Mia" I gasped. "Stay." At these words, I felt him closer and closer to me, and when I turned around we were nose to nose. "What are you doing?" I said, trying not to freak out. He kept moving that fucking piercing with his tongue and I would have done anything to stop him, even if I had to kiss him. "Let's get out of here." He said, walking past me as if he had just taken my wrist, but that was just my imagination, because he was never going to touch me. "What are you saying, it's four in the morning"
"So?" I forgot I was talking to Tom Kaulitz. "Tomorrow I have to get up early, unlike you who always get up at eleven. And then I'm so tired"
"Okay nerd, I'm going out. I'll leave the door open for you in case you change your mind." And then he came out winking at me. I could see him walking slowly out the door, and I let out a laugh before following him.

We toured the whole city in the middle of the night, and sometimes he would turn to look at me: perhaps because of the extremely provocative and at the same time embarrassing pajamas I was wearing. We sat down on a bench, it was still five o'clock and I was freezing. He noticed, so he took off the sweater he had on and gave it to me. He had nothing underneath. "What the fuck are you doing"
"You're cold aren't you? Put it on," I laughed. "Don't be an idiot and put on this sweater." Finally he put it back on. I couldn't understand why August nights were always cold.

I rolled onto my side, forgetting that I was literally sleeping on a bench, in fact I fell to the ground but strangely didn't hurt myself. I fell on something soft, and when I opened my eyes I was face to face with Tom. I literally fell on top of him. We stayed that way for a few more seconds, then quickly we both stood up. Again, we looked at each other. I don't know why, but my heart was pounding really hard and my breathing was quickening.

We got closer and closer, then that panting stopped, and those accelerated heartbeats became kisses, endless kisses.

We continued until exhaustion. The sun was rising, there was nothing around us, just the two of us. It was so satisfying, so much that I cried, and unfortunately he noticed it. "What happens?" he asked me worried. "Sorry," I told him, covering my face with my hands. "For what?" I lifted my head and looked him straight in the eyes. For him, nothing was over yet, his eyes filled with longing. He began to wipe away my tears with his fingers. "I feel like I'm playing a double game... This shouldn't have happened after what happened with Bill the other night." His hand left my cheek, and this time his eyes didn't want me, but they were full of anger.

*TOM'S POV*

"We just kissed, and all you think about is my brother?" she didn't know what to say, she just kept looking at me without saying anything. That kiss had been literally perfect.

Sweet and passionate at the same time, we've both been waiting for it for a long time... And she had ruined it. "Fuck you." I said, leaving her there alone in front of that bench. I was pissed at her, so much, but at the same time unhappy with what I'd just done. I was continuing to walk towards the hotel, while she was still in front of that bench, surely crying... And for the first time since I was six, I cried. I tried to avoid it, but I couldn't stop.

*MIA'S POV*

I called a taxi and went back to the hotel. Luckily I had five dollars in my pocket. The taxi driver asked me several times what was wrong and if I was fine because I kept crying and I almost couldn't breathe, and I didn't know whether to tell him I was fine or tell him the truth. Back to the room, I didn't have the card with me to enter. Shit. I hadn't brought it with me simply because I didn't expect to be out all night. I was forced to knock despite my horrible condition: swollen eyes, red nose and red cheeks. I prayed that neither Bill nor Tom would open the door. If it was Bill, I would have had to broach the subject I didn't want to broach, if it was Tom, I would have punched him in the face.

Bill opened the door for me, and his face said it all.

He immediately let me in and waved me to go to his room. I knew it was going to end very badly. He locked the door and then sat down across from me. "What happened?" he asked me. "I... I don't know where to start." I answered him, trying not to cry again. "Maybe you can start with the fact that you and Tom have been out together all night?" he stressed the word "together" more than necessary. I could hear the suppressed anger in his voice, which was then suppressed because he wanted to avoid making me cry.

"We kissed." I said. I said it quickly, without thinking, and realized later that maybe I should have thought before I said it. "I know, Tom told me when he got back ten minutes ago." Oh, good. "Do you know where he went?" I asked him. "What does it matter to you?" he was about to break everything, I felt it. "Listen Mia, what are we two?" I expected that question.

"I really don't know. Bill I'm really sorry. I don't know what's happening to me." He looked at me for a few seconds, then sighed and sat next to me to hug me. In his arms I felt safe, in fact I gave in and cried, over and over.

Ever since I'd met those two boys, I'd been crying all the time, and I'd begun to hate It.

"Don't worry, everything will be fine." Bill told me. I knew exactly how he felt: He felt used, but he cared about me so much that he didn't want to make it worse by giving me another burden.

That same evening there would be another concert, which in the meantime was about to start and Tom still hadn't been seen anywhere. Maddie was about to have a panic attack. "Oh my God. What do we do if he doesn't come?" she kept repeating nonsense like that, meanwhile we tried to reassure her by telling her that he would arrive. And so it was. How did I notice his arrival? From the fact that I suddenly felt someone shove me as he passed, and it was him.

When I saw him walk past me without even glancing at me, I had no tears left, so I dashed into the break room and downed a beer.