Just Kiss Me - Tom and Bill Kaulitz

Dead eyes

I didn't realize the pain until we got to the hospital.

Tom had my arm around his neck to help me walk as I could barely stand. I had lost so much blood that I could barely keep my eyes open and felt like I was going to pass out.

*TOM'S POV*

"Don't worry, that bastard will remain in prison for the rest of his days."

I told Mia to try and keep her awake as we entered the hospital. Then, right in front of the door she passed out, so I picked her up and ran into the hospital. A doctor immediately told me to place her on a bed. Five of them surrounded her and began shining a light into her eyes. "What happened?" they asked me. "She was shot twice in the left leg." I said trying to stay calm. I envied the tranquility of the doctors around her. That nurse wasn't even shocked when I told him that she had been shot, perhaps because he was used to things like that. All of them were used to it. I think they started taking her to the operating room, and I went to the vending machine to get a bottle of water.

The fucking bottle didn't want to go down, so I started shaking the machine, but apparently it was stuck there.

I punched the glass, smashing it to smithereens and bleeding my knuckles, but at least I had my bottle of water.

"Hey! Is everything fine?" I heard screams from a nurse who had come up to me. When I turned to see her, I thought I saw her. Mia. My eyes began to sparkle in front of that beautiful blond and wavy hair. What was happening to me?

I spent the night in the hospital, and when I woke up I saw my brother drinking coffee next to me. "Good morning little flower." He said continuing to sip his coffee. I gave him a smile and rubbed my eyes. It had been a long time since I was this close to him, and I liked that feeling. After all, he was my twin. A doctor came out of the room and Bill and I leapt to our feet. "She's sleeping now, but you can come in if you want." So Bill threw the glass away and we ran towards Mia's room. When I saw her in that bed, I skipped a beat. I stood in the doorway as Bill ran over to her and sat in the chair that was next to her bed.

I felt something was missing in my heart. The longer I stood in the doorway looking at her in that bed, the more distant and detached I felt from her. On the one hand I didn't want it to happen, but the other part of me felt free.

Bill kept looking at her and holding her hand, while I had joined him on the other side of the bed, sitting on the chair and leaning on the bed waiting for her to wake up. I saw her forefinger move, and as a result her eyes opened. I looked at Bill and joy was oozing from every pore, then my eyes rested on her again. Her eyes have always been my favourite...

But for the first time since I'd known her, looking into her eyes was like looking into anyone else's eyes.

*BILL'S POV*

Looking into her eyes wasn't like looking into anyone else's eyes.
Looking at her made me feel good, and only she could.

"Don't move, please." I told her when she was about to get up. She winced as she tried to get up anyway. "Shit! What excruciating pain in my leg." She said placing a hand on her left thigh. I huffed. Tom began to say something, and I could tell with a single glance that he was different. I had seen him just the night before after the concert when Mia was there too, and he had a light in his eyes that no one could ever put out.

But looking at him the following morning, that light was gone.

"I'm starving." Mia said. I jumped to my feet, and when Tom saw me jump up, he got up quickly too, coughing. I knew something was wrong, and turning to Mia I realized that she had noticed it too. She kept looking at Tom so intently that for a second I could feel all the missing she felt. As if he had broken away from her once and for all. We both left her room and went to the vending machine to get her a muffin and a bottle of water. Tom started inserting coins, so I took advantage. "You don't love her anymore, do you?" he stopped, then snorted and inserted the last coin.

I already understood his answer. Then, I don't know why, I felt the urge to hug him. So I took him in my arms and I didn't leave him even for a second. I felt him cry on my shoulder. My brother was crying. It had been a long time since I heard him cry.

"I don't know what's happening to me. I would like to love her with all of my being... I just can't."

I began to stroke his back with my hand. "I can leave everything undone, even with people." He said before pulling away from me and acting like he hadn't just cried. He took the muffin and the bottle of water and started to leave, but I grabbed his arm forcing him to face me. "You don't have to feel like you have to love her because of all the mess that happened. And it's not true that you leave everything half done. It may happen that you lose interest, you don't have to feel guilty." I told him.

He looked down and then his eyes returned to mine. "Mia was not just an interest. I felt complete when I was with her, now I feel like a piece of me is gone and will never come back."

He said with his expression that expressed nothing. Then, he returned to Mia's room to bring her the muffin and water.