I looked at Lienzo in my peripheral vision while sipping the glass of vodka in my hand. I don't remember anymore how many glasses of different liquor I already tasted but I'm not drunk yet. I know because I have a high alcohol tolerance.
I put my glass in the bar counter and took a glance at Lienzo again for the nth time. Why does he look so happy and dashing as if we never broke up?
Why am I the only one miserable here drowning myself everyday in liquor while he's enjoying his life with his new girlfriend? Did he even loved me?
I saw his hand snaked to her new girl's waist while whispering something making the girl giggle.
My eyes turn daggers as I look at them and remember the other day why I'm here again in this bar.
I got a therapist to tell me there were other men but I don't want them. I just want Lienzo.
How pathetic right? I told myself I won't get crazy over a man but here I am looking so bitter about his new girlfriend.
I thought about the advices from my relatives.
"Kai, you're not alone, okay?" My cousin said.
"Whatever you decide to do, I'll support you." My other cousin told me and held my hand.
"Honey, this hurts so much, but I promise it's not forever." My mom said while she's holding my face.
Maybe they're right, I should keep moving and not get stuck by this break up.
But... For the last time, I want to see Lienzo even when he's with another girl now.
Nang makita kong lumabas na sila sa Bar ay lumabas na rin ako at pumasok sa sariling sasakyan, ilang metro ang layo sa kanila pero naaanig ko sila.
Si Lienzo na nakiki-pagtawanan sa bago niya habang nakahawak sa bewang ng babae at hinahalik-halik-an ang leeg nito. Nakita kong papaalis na ang babae ngunit hinalikan pa ito ng isang beses ni Lienzo bago sumakay sa kaniyang sariling kotse.
Look how happy this couple, huh.
I hold the steering wheel tightly while reminiscing our memories together, hinahawakan din ba niya ako sa bewang nung kami pa? Nakikipagtawanan rin ba siya sa'kin at nakikipagharutan sa public place? Dinadala niya rin ba ako sa Bar noong kami pa? I hate comparing but we... We never did that.
We just used to have our quality time through travelling, eating and watching random movies at my place.
How boring. Maybe that's why he replaced me.
The sudden explosion startled me and as I looked back, I saw the car burning while other people were panicking at the same time holding their phone while dialing.
If I can't have him, then no one should.
I'd rather ther be in hell than alone.
I smirk but suddenly my phone rings, it's my cousin, Hale.
Hindi ko na sana ito sasagutin nang hindi sinasadyang mapindot ko ang answer button nito.
"Hello–" Siguro ay hindi lang niya sinasadyang matawagan ako dahil rinig ko ang sigawan sa background niya na parang may pinagtatalunan sila, ibababa ko na sana ang tawag nang narinig ko ang pangalan ko. It was Tita Beatrice talking with my other relatives, I guess.
"—The doctor concluded that Kai's having hallucinations related to her schizophrenia, there is no Lienzo! You should not have let her go outside if she's–"
Then suddenly, the call ended.
What I heard feels like someone just woke me up in a dream through the use of cold water making me freeze at the moment.
