Suramya

Prologue Part 1- Raina.

RAINA-
Pongal has always been dear to me. The festival of new beginnings, harvest and joy. Today was the day of Pongal and it very much pained me to leave it behind, missing all the celebration of it. Now that's one thing I love about this country. The diversity– diversity of festivals, religion, skins, thoughts and assholes.

Oh yeah, most people here are rule-breaking disrespectful assholes. At least, the ones I've met so far are.

It always starts in your own house. The first person to criticize me was my own mother. She had always wanted a son and from what I've been told, my parents did some ritual to their god, Mahakali, who then blessed them with me and my brother. I've always just been a package to them. I was never of significance nor of importance except as an object of criticism.

"Excuse me, didi(1)" Someone from beside me, calls out. I turn to the source of the sound and see an almost-7-years-old girl patting my knees to grab my attention.

"Yes?" I look down at the child and she blinks up at me. It calms down my anger a bit, the innocence on her face.

"I sit here. Can you move away?" She points at the seat that I'm sitting on. Apparently, I'm stretched out on two seats rather than mine own and did not realise it until the girl told me so.

"Sure." I shift myself to the corner of the train compartment, and she plops herself up on the seat. Her legs dangle from the height as she sways them while having a piece of sandwich.

I look out from the window of the train as I notice a station coming by. The train starts slowing itself down and I manage to see a sign which says the name of the station– "Mecheda Railway Station." This means I'm an hour and a half away from my destination. Kolkata, or as people call it, the city of joy. Such bullshit. There is not a single place on this planet where joy can be found. I don't think something like joy even exists.

The reason for my trip there is my wonderful cousin sister, Aadarshani, whose wedding is being held in Kolkata. My parents decided not to attend the wedding because of the strained relationship between them and my uncle. But they couldn't put up with my rebellious attitude when I said I wanted to go. Even though our families didn't really get along, we were like two waves of the ocean. Always getting along. She's my best friend and my favourite person on this earth.

I fought with my parents to let me go to her wedding and they obviously didn't allow it. But I had my ways. After all, 17 years of fighting experience isn't that bad. Besides, my parents don't care what happens to me.

The train halts to a stop and I feel a pinch of hunger in my stomach. My body needs food and so does my heart. It needs food to retain the anger. I can't help it because the more I think about my parents, the worse it gets.

I step out of the train and quickly walk towards a snack shop nearby, buying something that sounds the most appealing at the moment.

I notice some people get off the train, including the girl from earlier, as they meet their family members and hug them as a gesture of greeting. Happy families. My biggest dislike in the world. Not for them, of course, but for me. I never had a happy family and from what I've seen, I don't want one either.

"You've gotten so dark!" A middle-aged woman exclaims at the little girl. "And put on some weight as well." The woman laughed.

Ah. there's the classic. The cousin aunt criticises a child's weight and skin tone, leaving an impact on their little minds.

The girl frowns as she checks her arms and body. No no no. She's too young for this crap. In fact, no one is ever old enough to go through this.

I would know about it all too well. I have a darker shade of skin than any of my family members or even in our neighbourhood. It's why I became content for comparison for the parents who tell their children, 'Don't go out in the sun or you'll become like Raina!' as if I'm a monster. My own mother used to make efforts to 'lighten my skin shade'. It came to the point where I became to despise myself and became insecure about my appearance. And this might sound stretched to you but it really is what happened to me.